I'm baaaaack

So I know it's been a long time. Like a really long time since I've blogged. I also know that the last few times I DID blog, it was nothing good. It was additionally, quite cryptic, which is not all that great for a blog where people have no actual insight into your real life unless you tell them. I'm ready to put that behind me though.

I can't say that I'm incredibly motivated to blog yet, but I think this is a good start. Considering that I never actually take a lunch break at work anymore, I am taking my sweet time writing this post (I actually made it to work on time today).

I've been pretty reclusive for the past few months. I've gone out here and there....

I just took a 4 hour break from this post...will have to continue tomorrow.

I thought it might get better

but it doesn't. Or at least, it's not yet. I'm digging myself into this hole that I may never be able to get myself out of.

All I want is to be alone right now. I've pretty much alienated anyone who I could spend time with for various reasons, and I get to constantly be reminded that 10 seconds can ruin a life forever.

I'm really going to miss Steel Pans, and something tells me that this post should also be a farewell to B as well.

Yes folks, it is that bad.

"This too shall..."...well in my experience "hold tight, the ride's only going to get rougher" is a bit more appropriate, because passing is something that this will not be doing any time soon.

Oh, and I've been meaning to write about my house fire, but there never seemed to be a good time. Now, I don't know if there ever will be. Still no internet at the new house - maybe it's better that way. I feel out of touch, and I kind of want to be. Also, I don't think I'll actually be "touched" any time soon.

Fuck (or don't, I suppose).

Silently crying at my desk...

I'm currently waiting for some of the worst news a person can get. I'd say it's top ten on the list of things you don't want to hear, maybe even top 5...or at least in my top 5.

Needless to say, things haven't gotten better since the fire. They just keep getting worse.

Failed literary scholar

Reading Laura's blog left me wondering where I stood in terms of what I've read compared to what I probably should've read by this point in my life...and I really haven't read much. Maybe one day I'll make some headway in this list.

 

The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper LeeThe Bible
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (Listened to this on tape when I refused to read it for school)
Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (My daddy read this one to me when I was a kid)
Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
Middlemarch - George Eliot
Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald 

Bleak House - Charles Dickens
War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
Emma - Jane Austen
Persuasion - Jane Austen
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini (Did I read this, or just watch the movie?!)

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (Silly old bear)
Animal Farm - George Orwell (I read the script and worked on the play, but didn't read the book itself)
The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (Don't remember this book at all, but I know I read it!)
Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Atonement - Ian McEwan (Again, I can't remember if I read it or just saw the movie)

Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Dune - Frank Herbert
Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon (Great book!)

 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (One of my favorites)
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold  (Again, I can't remember if I read it or just saw the movie)

Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
On The Road - Jack Kerouac
Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
Moby Dick - Herman Melville 

Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
Dracula - Bram Stoker
The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
Ulysses - James Joyce
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
Germinal - Emile Zola (Did a project on him, but never read his shizz)
Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
Possession - AS Byatt
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Color Purple - Alice Walker 

The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
Charlotte’s Web - EB White
The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (I'm pretty sure at some point I read some of these)
The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad 

The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (In English AND French)
The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
Watership Down - Richard Adams
A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
Hamlet - William Shakespeare (I've read almost every other Shakespeare play - save for the majority of the histories - but not Hamlet!)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
Les Miserables - Victor Hugo (Did I ever read this, or just saw the play/movie? Hmm...)

Hiatus...

I know I've been gone for a while, a lot is still going on - and I currently don't have internet at my new house unless my dad tethers his phone, which isn't ideal.

I promise I will fill you in.

Miss you....

It's just surreal.

Look. I was going to post something profound last week. I was going to post about my trip to Florida and to Atlanta. I had big dreams for a post today, but honestly...I just can't find it in me right now.

 Half of my house burnt down yesterday. My parents and I are physically alright. My house is not. Yes, I plan on sharing the story with all of the details because it's something that while I don't want to remember, it's something I will never forget. So for right now, I smell like a barbecue pit, a good portion of my family's belongings are not salvageable, I'm living in a hotel for the next 10 days until the insurance company finds us a temporary apartment for the next 6-12 months while my house remains "unlivable" and I still haven't accepted that this is real life.  

But it is...
 

This is what is left of my kitchen. The laundry room and third floor bathroom look about the same

And what the first floor bathroom and most of the other rooms look like

I will have more pictures in my next post. Right now, I'm just trying to stave off the random outbursts of tears that remind me that this is real.

Hey there, it's been a while

And it will continue to be a little while longer. I'm trying to process some information that I just got. It's a doozy.

Wednesday Woes - Weather WTF!?

Wednesday Woes

Who doesn't enjoy complaining on a Wednesday? Wednesday is that day of the work week we're all just trying to get through. You're a day closer to the upcoming weekend, but last weekend is already two days behind you and you still have two more week days ahead. So go ahead, tell us what your "Woes" are this Wednesday so we can commiserate, and don't forget to linkup!

I actually don't have all that much to complain about today, which is a surprise. Pretty much the same old stuff.

1. The weather is goddamn bipolar. It was almost 90 degrees on Monday and almost 80 yesterday. Now it's barely 60. I know a lot of people whose health this is affecting, including mine.

2. My coworker still smells. At the end of the week I will probably bring it up to my boss in hopes that she can mention something, because it's not my responsibility.

3. I hate dealing with governmental grants. Actually, scratch that. I hate having to pick up grants in the middle of the application process because everyone has a different process. Now we're coming down to the deadline and I know that tomorrow may kill me.

4. Walking into work in the morning, I didn't even have 10 seconds to myself before I had to troubleshoot a damn computer problem. It's really irritating having to be the go-to person for every random issue. Someone else needs to step up and handle some of this bullshit, or they should really have fought harder to keep my former coworker.

5. I feel like I've had something in my eye for two days now. It's really becoming an irritant.

6. My cough is lingering.

7. The conference room needs to be split up, and my ass will not be the one doing it.

Eh- I'm done complaining. I just want the sun to come out.

Prosententially Famous

By the way, I posted some of my older writing over at Prosetentially Famous yesterday. Feel free to check it out.

I'll probably post again later.

My coworker decided not to shower again today.

The weather is beautiful.

I'm trying to maintain my great mood.


We shall see...

Monday morning flood

I'm not sure if you can tell, but that's a flood. Guess where it was. If you guessed the 68th Street - Hunter College stop on the 6 train, you would be correct.

Guess what stop I have to get off at for work? And guess yet again, whether or not the MTA decided to mention this flood situation to the lucky MTA patrons that would be exiting at Hunter College.

To say the least, my morning commute was kind of disgusting. I mean, everything was going just fine (my mother yelled at me for eating half of a piece of steak that apparently she planned to bring to work for lunch - tough luck...she knows how much I love red meat and that she would even consider cooking steak and not leaving me some, she deserves being assed out this morning. HARUMPH) in terms of how fast the trains came. I had a seat by Dekalb Avenue. I managed to pull my skirt down enough in the back that my asscheeks and most of my thighs were not touching the seat on the train...but then I got off at Hunter College and had to wade through 6 inches of water, in leather sandals.

I'm just happy that my sandals are semi-waterproof, and by the time I got down two blocks, my feet were dry...but when I think about what was in that water, or where it came from, I get pretty grossed out. I'm also sure that having wet feet outside, is not the best thing for someone with a cold.

That's right, I still have a cold. I'm still coughing; still sneezing; still fighting off an epic headache. I was miserable yesterday at my great aunt's 80th birthday party. My sickness contributed to my unwillingness to socialize with family I only see once a year and other people whom I have either never met, or rarely see. There's something to that though. I had a great bloody mary that took be forever to finish because I was sick, so I had no booze flowing through my veins...and the closest person to my age at the party (in either direction) was my first cousin once removed, a freshman in college. So, everyone took pity on me, and left me alone (pretty sure they just didn't want my germs).

Basically, I sat around looking like a zombie, praying for the time to come when we could go home. Also, my stomach was really unhappy. I'm pretty sure the raw clams I had for breakfast didn't help that whole situation, but they needed to be eaten.

B and I went to City Island with her boo on Saturday. I drove, and kind of drove like a maniac. The food was awesome. B and her boo came back to my house and we hung out, and another of my friends came over...let's call him "HSS" because I don't know what I've called him before. We played Kings with malt liquor and everyone was really unhappy with how their stomachs felt, so we went to sleep. HSS and I cuddled, which was actually really great.

Now we're back to Monday and I'm ready for the work day to be over because it's 85 degrees outside.

SUNNY SUNNY SUNNY

It's OK - Allergies are now contagious

• That my smelly coworker's "allergies" are obviously contagious and now I'm sporting a cold (or the plague)
• That I thought I got a dollup of honey on my hand and licked it - turned out it was dish washing liquid
• That I refuse to go to the bathroom 15 minutes before or after my new coworker because I almost threw up from the stench she left behind yesterday
• That I got to see someone use the emergency call button on the subway for the first time in my life because the train stopped between two stations and she freaked out, threatening to jump off of the train because she's claustrophobic
• That during those 10 minutes stuck between stations, I had cell phone reception so I was telling Mo and B all about it
• That I've gotten to work a minimum of an hour late this whole week, and I'm perfectly fine with that
• To have loaded about 130 quotes onto my phone from bitsotruth.blogspot.org yesterday to use at BBM status pictures
• To pray for B's boo to get his appeal in court today, even if I don't pray
• To have a phlegmy cough now, and be really upset about it
• That I haven't fought with my mother in weeks - in fact I can't remember the last time I fought with her
• That my dad didn't do the one thing I ever ask of him on Tuesday, and I didn't flip out at him about it (although I still don't understand why he can't take the prius when it's available so I can use my car and not have to drive that thing)
• To have spent over a week straight with my best friend and only have fought once
• To desperately want to watch as much TV as I possibly can so my DVR doesn't get overloaded - but fall asleep halfway through almost every show instead
• That yesterday morning I was completely healthy and now I can't stop coughing, sneezing, have a headache and my ear hurts
• To be emailing my coworkers sitting next to me because "I need my mouth for breathing, because I can't use my nose due to stench."
• To not be a nice person sometimes
• To wish I had lemon to add to my tea with honey so my throat would stop hurting
• That my great aunt's 80th birthday is on Sunday, and to be mostly excited about eating food there
• To be looking forward to going to City Island either tomorrow or Saturday for some amazing seafood
• To be sad that tomorrow is my coworker's last day
• That Delta let me down again yesterday and I didn't get really upset about it
• To not be ready to talk about my vacation yet because I don't feel inspired (also, I don't understand why I think about going to Jamaica so much when I'm never really upset to go home)
• To start looking for a therapist because I've definitely pinpointed things I need to take care of
• To be really excited for Mo's big move - and to go visit her in China of course
• To now be a part of Prosetentially Famous and need to dig up some of my old writing so I can actually post it
• To want to learn more about current events because I feel like I'm running out of things to talk about
• To be getting ready for lunch in a half hour, even though I ate breakfast only an hour and a half ago
• That I might go to Honey tonight even though I'm sick, just because one of my friends said she might want to - if it doesn't rain

What's OK with you today? I could keep going - but I'll save it all for another day

Wednesday Woes - The plague

Wednesday Woes

Who doesn't enjoy complaining on a Wednesday? Wednesday is that day of the work week we're all just trying to get through. You're a day closer to the upcoming weekend, but last weekend is already two days behind you and you still have two more week days ahead. So go ahead, tell us what your "Woes" are this Wednesday so we can commiserate, and don't forget to linkup! (I promise I'll make a button soon)

I think my new coworker has the plague. I swear she hasn't stopped coughing every 2 minutes for the last two weeks. I'm ready to offer her lozenges, tea with honey, a fucking tracheotomy to get her to stop coughing...but I don't want to get too close.

I am currently refusing to deal with the conference room, because I never agreed to take it over once my other coworker was fired. Let's see how long it takes for the room to be made up and the table to be set up for lunch.

Pandora is skipping. It keeps losing its connection and for whatever reason it'll stop about 40 seconds before the song is over and move on to the next one. It just skipped two of my favorite songs. Not happy.

Onion breath. I need to stop eating onions at work (in fact, my boss said this), because now I talk to too many people directly in the middle of my meals. I just like the flavor they bring to salads, but they've gotta go.

The internet connection at work is really lagging today. It worries me for what's to come in the next few weeks as everyone changes systems.

OK, back to this plague thing. Since I asked if she needed a cough drop and she refused it, I cannot stop coughing. Karma really hates me. And speaking of Karma, I swear I get hit worse than most people for things I MUST have done in the past. It's like I have a bullseye on my back and can always be found.

5 hours later, I STILL cannot stop coughing.

Tomorrow I'll post about my vacation. Jamaica was, how shall I say it....INTERESTING.

Recapitulation of recent revelry

Seeing as how I'm going out of town for the next week, I figured I would actually post so as to avoid the "bad blogger" syndrome. I can't say that I have much to talk about, but I'm sure I can come up with something.

Holy crap, I thought I had posted about my weekend. Guess not, maybe I do indeed have something to talk about.

Friday.

I went to see my friend and her new baby. I didn't want to hold the baby. It was two days old, and I don't know if I've told you before, but I don't really enjoy holding children who cannot hold up their own head. I don't know why, but it's true. I had also been dealing with raw shrimp about 30 minutes before I went to go over to the house, and I don't care how much hand washing you do...raw shrimp hands are not something you should touch a newborn with. I was only there for about an hour before my friend got delirious after not having slept for 5 days, and I went home.

When I was there, I saw another of my old bowling teammates. Yeah, that's right, I used to bowl competitively. From ages 7-17, I was a competitive bowler. Eat that! Actually, when I was a Junior in high school, I played on a team with three other girls, all of which now have children and are/were married. I was the second bowler, and the cheerleader. Our team (the only all girl team) won the league that year. We kicked ass. I think my average was 187 that year. I could be found standing on the chairs at the bowling alley cheering for my teammates and trying to keep our third bowler (the new mom) from beating herself up too much when she didn't do well, and our anchor bowler (the divorcee - who was at new mom's house) from zoning out to the point where she would ignore what we were doing at the alley in order to pay attention to her flavor of the week.She's not the same person though - and she has an 8 month old.

Saturday:

Anyway, we made plans to go out the next night because her friend from Washington State was in town for the week and wanted to really experience going out in NY, and Divorcee JUST moved back to NYC a few weeks ago.

Around 10:30 I started to get ready. By get ready, I mean, I started drinking as I danced around and put my make up on. I spoke to B and we were going to go to Slate because her friend's friend was having a party there and why not. I also had the option of going to Sutra for my other friend's belated birthday celebration.

Divorcee and Washington State missed the 11:30pm ferry from Staten Island, and so they decided to drive to my house and then take the train with me into the city. I sat in my kitchen, still drinking, listening to the reggae channel, dancing, singing and waiting. We got ourselves together and took off to meet up with B and her friends.

As we crossed the bridge, B said that the cover for Slate was ridiculous, and they were only doing bottle service. Sutra had a $5...the decision had been made.

Sutra was PACKED. I have some pictures, but I haven't uploaded them yet, so you'll have to wait. I didn't blackout though. That's the really important part. Divorcee left super early because she just can't hang like she used to. WashState stayed with me and we shut down the club. She managed to get us a ride home, and it was amazing. As we were driving through Grand Army Plaza, we talked about standing up through the sunroof. She did it. I was in the back and pulled myself out of the window and sat on the edge - whilst the car was moving - and got AMAZING pictures of her. Very much like something you would see in a movie. It was a blast. Only downside was that there was a car full of guys that were driving next to us, and told WashState to show her boobs, which she wouldn't and when I said that, one of them yelled that I was too fat to be sitting on the window. Obviously not, homie. So biiiiite me!

Anyway, we got home. I left them sitting in the car and passed out. Apparently I made a long phone call to a 20 year old boy talking about dirty things in my sleep. So, maybe I didn't NOT blackout - but that's day 2 of keeping my blackouts to my house, which is a hell of an accomplishment.


Sunday:
I did NOTHING. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. B came over on Sunday night to commence packing. We did that for a few hours, and finally went to bed because packing is exhausting.

Monday:
I went to work and the temp had started.

I can't say I like this woman. She is of the "older" variety, and not pleasant to look at/smell...Also, I'm incredibly bitter about what they're doing to my coworker and I just don't want this new lady here, which is why I'm really happy to be getting out of the office for the next 4 business days.

I spent a lot of time at work reading a book on my Kindle - thanks to Safari Cloud Reader. Winner!

I took care of some personal hygiene things after work in preparation for my trip. It cost me a fortune and wasn't really worth the inflated price, but it WAS convenient. When I got home, B was already at my house. We finished packing, went to get dinner and then she went to her friend's house. The whole time we were discussing this trip and the potential for a million types of disasters. We made a pact though, that if shit hits the fan, we are NOT involved...and let me tell you, this fan may be worse than the one that almost took off my finger in October.

Tuesday
I wanted to kill this man on the train because I've just about had it up to HERE with people who take one step onto a train and don't move in any further when there are clearly people trying to get on behind you. Why am I maneuvering around your selfish ass. Next time, I'm just shoving bitches.

There are a few things I have learned in the past few years since my surgery. By "things" i mean, "eating habits I should really cut out". I did not abide by these findings today.

1. Dairy vs. KG. I can do cheeses, but milk - never a good idea. Ice cream, especially when I've eaten before I have it - BIG mistake.

2. Fried foods = bad - don't handle those well thanks to my gallbladder-less-ness.

3. Drinking whilst eating - especially carbonated beverages (that I don't often drink anyway), big nono.

All three of these things will result in major discomfort and most likely, regurgitation.

Guess what I had for lunch? Fried soft shell crab, sushi, and green tea ice cream.

I guarantee is does not taste as delicious coming up as it does going down. My stomach is still being grumpy. In fact it is being very NOISY in protestation of my earlier behavior.

I hope that it gets it together, because I will be drinking today, and every day for the next 7 days.

Dear liver, 

Sorry in advance for partying. Happy Easter!


Love, 
KG

It's not really OK..

Link up with Amber and Neely

It's OK...

That I'm eating Broccoli Cheddar soup for breakfast because I couldn't make a goddamn soup selection at lunch yesterday - so I bought three kinds

That I've spoken to 6 T-Mobile, 2 Blackberry and 4 Expedia customer service reps in the past two weeks, and I've just about had it up to here, with those people. (This is not actually OK, but I'm trying to breathe about it) - UPDATE: They're sending me a new phone tomorrow - Thank you, Jerry. You're the only one who has made the wise decision to just stop dealing with me altogether.

That I've almost broken down into tears of frustration three times while lashing out at said customer service people.

That I slept in today because I just didn't feel like getting up at 7:20am.

That my love for Express pants is officially over, as they have a shelf life of about a year before SOMETHING goes wrong with them (lost the inside button on my pants about 10 minutes ago)

That I will be packing and re-packing this weekend because Jamaica is only 5 and a half days away.

That I've convinced my friend to let me be her youngest daughter's godmother...and that she probably doesn't think I'm DEAD serious about this. That little girl is precious.

That I haven't talked to my own godparents yet about seeing/staying with them in Florida in a few weeks.

That I'm excited to rent a car without having to pay extra fees because I'm 25!

That car rental is the only reason I'm excited to be 25.

That I get to see my friend's new baby on Saturday and I have to get a gift (YAY) and stop being lazy (BOO)

That my nails are bright pink, and I would show you a picture I took on my phone but my facebook isn't activated yet because I just had to reboot my whole damn phone.

To have, and I shit you not, 40 books on my Kindle and yet feel so inclined to purchase YET ANOTHER. (50 Shades of Grey, here I come)

That I actually grew balls and told my boss that if I was going to be taking on even more jobs, that I wanted to be compensated for my efforts (I smell a raise, and it smells like freshly baked bread and just-mowed grass)

A to Z

A is for age: 25

B is for breakfast: Orange Juice that made me sick and part of a Bear Claw

C is for currently craving: Still Dark Chocolate Mint M&Ms

D is for dinner tonight: Not a clue

E is for favorite type of exercise: None! Or Jillian Michaels

F is for irrational fear: I don't think I have any

G is for gross food: I don't find anything particularly gross

H is for hometown: Brooklyn

I is for something important: Parents and friends.

J is for current favorite jam: Strawberry! Breathe Carolina - Blackout, because that's my life.

 

K is for kids: I don't have any, but I may have a Godchild now. That's still in negotiations.

L is for current location: Manhattan

M is for most recent way you spent money: I bought three soups at Au Bon Pain because I couldn't decide which I wanted. They're all in the fridge.

N is for something you need: To get into shape.

O is for occupation: Fellowship Coordinator and Pre-Award Grants Administrator

P is for pet peeve: A lot of subway etiquette things

Q is for quote: "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

R is for Random fact about you: I'm currently listening to Young, Wild & Free - Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa

 

S is for favorite healthy snack: Grape Tomatoes.

T is for favorite treat: Recently, the giant chocolate chip cookies at Le Pain Quotidien.

U is for something that makes you unique: I'm sure there are a lot of things, but probably my stupid knee scar.

V is for favorite vegetable: Since cucumbers and tomatoes are technically fruit...snow pea leaves.

W is for today's workout: Does not exist. Maybe 30 day shred

X is for x-rays you've had: Knee and foot. I've had stomach MRIs though.

Y is for yesterday's highlight: Jennifer had her baby!

Z is for your time zone: EST

Wednesday Woes - new linkup?

I'm considering starting a new link up "Wednesday Woes". I mean, who doesn't enjoy complaining on a Wednesday? Wednesday is that day of the work week we're all just trying to get through. You're a day closer to the upcoming weekend, but last weekend is already two days behind you and you still have two more week days ahead. What do you think?

Today's woes:

1. The Department of Sanitation basically threw garbage all over everyone trying to take the bus to work this morning. 

I mean seriously. For whatever reason, during rush hour, the garbage truck on 68th street decided it would be a FABULOUS idea to "stand" diagonally to load the garbage onto the truck. This messed everything up because cars and BUSES need to get down this block. More than half of the people on the bus got off because we were all going to be late to work. Which brings be to woes #2

2. Waking up early. 

Look, I think waking up early-ish actually puts me in a better mood...when I can go to bed before midnight. Waking up before 7am should be outlawed. I've had to be at work early the past two days, and although my train ride is a touch better because there are less people crowded and I usually get a seat sooner, I still would rather have that extra 30-45 minutes of sleep. There are very few people in this world that are not a mess in the morning, why start that earlier?

3. No one uses my toothbrush but me, but it's always wet.

So apparently, my dad has not been randomly using my toothbrush, although sometimes I really don't think he looks at which one he's picking up because it's before 7 am (see #2). However, all of our toothbrushes are in the toothbrush cup thing together. I swear he must use excessive water when brushing/washing the brush, because my toothbrush is OFTEN wet before I get to it. This makes me uncomfortable, and I've thrown away my fair share of toothbrushes because of it.

4. This weather.

I don't understand how it can be near 80 degrees on a Thursday, and then 18 degrees (factoring in windchill) on Monday. I just can't keep up with where my wardrobe should be right now. I was so ready for straight up sandal season, but now I'm back to winter boots. Mother nature, you're being very cruel.

In a more "What I'm loving Wednesday" vein, my friend finally had her baby!! I'm hoping I can get to my house quickly enough this afternoon to go see her at the hospital.

Being let go and not being able to let go.

I've never been fired from a job before. I've never been asked to leave, or been given notice. Let me knock on wood for a second....My coworker, whom I've grown fond of over the past year, is being let go. Her boss got promoted, and now, as a Dean, she's being provided a new assistant through the Dean's office. You know what I say to that? GODDAMMIT.

I hear they're hiring a temp in a few weeks to cover for her. That really blows, because now I'll be doing my job, and someone else's...again, and the time it takes to train a temp, if they aren't going to be staying, is time wasted. I'm just irritated, because my coworker's boss is really hard to work with and she's really patronizing, and not a lot of people can handle that. Also, there's a chemistry in the office that just works, and they're planning on hiring some "senior administrator", which probably means OLD. I don't want to work in the office with an old lady, honestly.

Sorry, that's mean and ageist, but we're trying to be really tech savvy in this office, and if I'm the only one who knows how to work the goddamn equipment, my workload quadruples.

Also, I just feel bad for my coworker, because she put an offer on a condo and in 3 weeks, she may not have a job. It's just a shitty situation all around.

Speaking of shitty situations. I spent almost 3 hours total on the phone with Expedia's custom service yesterday, to change my flights for my trip to Atlanta and Florida. To begin with, it sucked that I had to change the flights at all, but my job was being really anal about shit that I thought I had approval for, but apparently I did not. So I am now going to Atlanta on Tuesday, April 24th around noon, spending two nights at the Marriott - Wednesday and Thursday at the conference. Thursday night with H, and then Friday I will be flying to Florida to see the fam and flying out Monday, BRIGHT AND EARLY (another shitty situation) and trying to make it to work around noon. It's going to be a busy day.

Can anyone really explain to me the difference between an Economy car and a Compact car though? For three dollars more, I can rent a compact car. For three dollars more than that I can rent a midsize. I HATE 2 door cars, like really really, so I refuse to get one and want to know if that's what Economy means. I'm so bad with cars, but I'm pretty excited that now I'm 25, I don't have to pay an extra fee a day to rent a car. I also now have far too many credit cards than I should have, but I'm good about keeping on top of them, so I guess I'm building up credit.

The cards sure are taking a beating though. I decided yesterday, that instead of going to the gym like my surgeon said I should probably start doing again (and he's right, because I spent $75 on the gym this month and honestly, I don't plan on going this week...so bye bye $75), I decided to shop.

I got about $350 worth of clothing for $200. I have a problem making decisions, so I got a few things in multiple colors. In fact, I think I got three different things in two colors a piece. I don't even know if I really look good in that orange-y coral color that's so in season, but we shall see. What I do need to do though, is do some more ab stuff, because this belly! No bueno.

On Friday I went on a friend date. We ate at Bubba Gump's (because I really really wanted seafood) and saw Hunger Games (like everyone and their mom). I almost killed the guy though, because he was late. I had just spent a cool hour and a half in Bed Bath and Beyond, buying shit that was so beyond what I needed, that I was really upset when I was waiting 45 minutes with my big bag, in Times Square, outside of the movie theater.

Times Square is like the black hole of the Universe. Time, happiness and money all get sucked into it, never to return. I wanted to rip my hair out, but instead I sent an angry text and contemplated leaving his ass. He's a good guy though, and my work lunch buddy, so I held it together and we had a nice dinner/movie.

Saturday I was supposed to go out with Little D, but there was some confusion over the tickets to the party and yadda yadda, we didn't go. I was ok with this because Delta was supposed to come over (oh yeah, did I tell you, he's baaaaaaack). That, however, fell apart. I think I might've jumped down his throat a little early, but honestly, the whole situation was a bit to reminiscent of the rest of our "relationship" and I am NOT down to repeat that.

Let me backtrack. Delta messaged me LAST Sunday, the 18th because for whatever reason he remembered my number for the past year. He wanted to see me. I wasn't doing anything. I made no plans with him. Told him if he came by, he came by. The end.

He came by.

We sat on my porch for a while listening to music and "talking". I tried not to feel awkward. I looked like garbage and didn't care. He's just lucky I wasn't still wearing the sweats I had been wearing for almost 48 hours at that point. He showed his true Jamaican side (yep, I said it. He's a Yardi) He danced to my music, I chuckled, and continued to try not to feel awkward. We hugged for a while. It was uncomfortable. Not because it was with him, but because he's so tall and lanky and my head was in an awkward position and it just wasn't comfortable.

Anyway, this past Saturday he asked to spend the night. I'm an idiot so I agreed. I told him he should make me dinner.

He asked what I wanted (an hour later) and I responded (something delicious)...That was at 4:35pm. 

At 5:48pm I said "So if I eat dinner before you get back to me, you should probably forget tonight." 

At 6:46pm I get the response "Ok cool." To which I response "Ok cool what? I'm about go to eat."

"U said for get to night."

"You obviously can't read well. But year, just forget it all. Nothing's changed Delta, and I said I wouldn't do this again."

"U said befor u eat."

"I said IF. IF you didn't get back to me before I ate, THEN forget tonight. Jesus..."

"Relax u said for get it I'm still comin by" ----WHAT?! How does this make sense. "For get wat cookin" "Our comin by"

At which point I flipped out "Forget it all Delta"...blah blah blah I went on to say forget second and third chances and tell him not to try and contact me again. This was at 7:40pm.

At THREE FORTY SEVEN AM, he said he was on his way from Long Island when I said not to come, and he was coming all the way from far out in LI. I said it was too late. He said it wasn't. Told me he had gotten to Brooklyn at 8:15.

We are NOT going to work out. I'm already frustrated. Maybe I'm being a girl about this, but the reason I had to cut him out of my life the first time was due to his lack of respect for my time...and nothing has changed. We're still "talking" because I realized I MAY have overreacted a touch, but I can see where this is going and it's nowhere good.

8 days until Jamaica. I need it.

I lied - it is OK (Thursday)

It's OK...

• To watch an episode of Spartacus on the Q train on someone else's iPad
• To use friends as therapists from time to time
• To need closure - there's nothing wrong with that!
• To plan to see Hunger Games on Monday because crowded theaters are stupid
• To have had at least 15 beers last night for dollar beer night
• To "suntan" through an office window because it's beautiful outside
• To be bloated - as long as it's temporary
• To have considered flying to Chicago for one day this weekend just to see people (and go to the movies with Mo)
• To take free lunch from the office, even without going to the conference it's for
• To be excited for vacation in 13 days
• To rip the tags out of shirts because they're scratchy
• To run into old college dorm neighbors/old football team members and give them desserts
• To act baking incompetent so that it feels like a dessert making class was worth it (it was not - I should've been at Blockheads sipping on cheap bulldogs and eating Mexican food with a bunch of friends, enjoying the weather)

It's not OK that the hem on most of my work pants have all fallen this week and have to pay AGAIN to get them re-hemmed. Motherfuckers.  

I'm not perfect - big surprise.

I wanted it to be OK on Thursday, but it's not...

I have a lot of character flaws, I accept that. One of my major flaws though, is my inability to let go.

I dwell. I get like a broken record. When I drink, it always comes back. If I don't have complete closure on a situation, I don't know if I ever let it go. Maybe many months and/or years later I can push it to the back of my mind and not really actively think about it, but that's rare.

I bring this up, because I think I could possibly mess up a friendship because of something I truly believe that her "boyfriend" did (to me), and that no one holds him accountable for. I don't know what I'm really expecting her to do; even if I had solid proof that he actually did it, but little things keep pointing me to think he did...and I keep bringing it up to her.

I don't mean to. I do it unconsciously. When I hear something about him, I just want to run to her and tell her. Maybe it's just trying to be protective of her, by making sure she knows exactly what he's done, so at least she knows what she's getting into. I don't know what it is that really gets under my skin about this situation, but I've been analyzing it all morning.

Last night I went to dollar beers with B. It was a lot of fun, but at some point she mentioned there was a picture of the "boyfriend" holding/talking on the phone that he may or "may not" have stolen from me. This resulted in my tipsy fingers going to work telling my friend that I was positive he took my phone and I expected something in return - the message was actually a lot more elegant....and brutal. What I think I really want is an apology; some accountability. Fuck, I'll take a simple admittance. I'd rather know my enemy, than just be suspicious all the time.

Why can't I get over something that happened 8 months ago? What's more, why can't I get over something that will never have a resolution? What am I expecting to happen? What do I want from her? What do I need from him?

See, this girl and I aren't super duper close, but she's a friend. I know she talks to this guy pretty much every day and I do think that he's taking advantage of her...but she's letting him and loving him all the same. However, their relationship is probably stronger than mine with her. Am I trying to drive a wedge between them? Am I doing it because I care about her and don't want to see her be used? Or am I bitter towards him?
  
I just don't know and I can't seem to get over it. 

I think that when it comes down to it, what really grinds my gears is that back when the thievery took place, she said if it was him that she wouldn't speak to him again because it was such a shitty thing to do...yadda yadda. I know months have passed and they're way closer than they were back in October, but if it "was him", would she "stop speaking to him"? Nope. I know that, she knows that. She might believe me. She might even believe that he did do it, but it changes nothing. Essentially, I know that she would choose him over me - even after the constant BULLSHIT that he puts her through. And that, my friends, is the icing on the proverbial cake.

Steal a phone; steal a friend. No accountability. 

Can't let go - but I have to, if I plan on salvaging what's left of this damn friendship and my sanity.

What I'm loving Wednesday

Tomatoes

I know I've said this before, but I'm in love with grape tomatoes. I can go through pints and pints a day. I've already been through two containers today.

Specifically, Maya Farms Sweet Grape Tomatoes

Hunger Games

I'm just excited that the movie is finally coming out on Friday. I haven't been the movies in so long and this is definitely going to be the one that I want to break that trend with

Game of Thrones

It's coming back April 1st! AND I'm almost done with the second book. It's been tough to get through because it's so lengthy and I only really read on my commute, but this morning's read was really great, so I'm reinvigorated to finish in the next two weeks.

Vacation in two weeks (and 4 weeks)!

I may be going back to Jamaica, but it's still exciting and I'm happy to get out of this country and spend some QT with people I adore. I'm also excited for Atlanta and Florida in a month for work, friends and family!

Friend of mine took this picture when she was there recently.

Dessert making class!

I signed up for a 2 hour dessert making class through a Meetup at Coco Le Vu. I hope it's great. Either way, I'll satisfy my sweets cravings that are out of control right now.

The Weather 

Not at this moment because it's foggy and kind of yuck, but they say it's going to be 80 degrees tomorrow and B and I are probably going to go to Honey or some other outdoor digs and enjoy the weather and the night!

This song (David Barnes - Little Lies)

Pandora is doing great things today.

Trivia!

I had a lot of fun at the meetup on Monday playing trivia at Whiskey Town. I totally contributed too! We didn't win, but it was still pretty awesome! Met some good people too. Considering signing up for kickball because of it. (Also, I stole two beer cozies! So did most people.)

Yes, I wear bright ass colors. It was a beautiful pre-spring day!

Now if only I had surf and turf, my life would be complete! I want raw seafood and a really nice steak. Might have to hit up City Island ASAP.

I'm loving a lot more right now, but my feet are hurting and it's distracting. Walking 3 miles on the first sandal day of the year was probably not the best idea. Then trying on new shoes (still have to decide which ones to keep) was probably not brilliant either.

Help me decide which shoes to keep!

1. Hush puppies (so comfy - probably keeping)
2. Michael Antonio (in black and silver) - still trying to decide if they're comfortable.
3. Nine West (pretty positive I'm keeping these)
4. Dolce Vita (the metal on them could get irritating, but they're nice to look at
5. Not Rated (these are fun but I still don't know how I feel about the T-strap)

And I got a pair of my favorite flip flops in "Rasta" for good measure.

Happy hump day! It's almost the weekend!

In which, like many, I am Irish for a day

...and kind of rude

So as you may know, I've really been trying to be more social lately. The weather has improved, and that makes it a lot easier, but essentially...I'm putting in effort!

On Friday, after work, I decided to go out to impromptu drinks with someone I haven't seen in over a year. We've only ever hung out once, but we chit chat on facebook and occasionally via text, and we both needed a drink that day.

Let me first tell you why I needed a drink.

Thursday was a BRUTAL day at work. I was told by my boss I should take Friday off to recuperate. I had every intention of doing this, sitting at home, watching tv...you know, sulking. However, I went to send this one lowly email out to my Fellows, which I do every Friday, and lo and behold there is an email from one of the people I work with, basically saying I majorly fucked something up the day before.

I'm not one to let things like that go, and I ignored the text from my boss saying she was taking care of the issue.

I got to the office at 1pm and went through a traumatizing meeting at 3pm where I cried a little bit. It was kind of hard to deal with because on one hand my boss was saying how much she valued me and how great I was, and on the other hand, the person I messed the thing up for was telling me that I basically sucked. I got defensive. I just don't like doing a bad job. However, we're on the right track with the open communication and I'm improving in terms of these mini oversights that build up to be way bigger issues.

Needless to say (even if I've already said it), I needed a damn drink.

We decided to meet at the stumble, but thanks to it being happy hour on a Friday during March Madness, it was PACKED. So we went to this little quiet bar next door and drank beer and chatted. Then we went to the Stumble when happy hour was over. It was a lot of fun, definitely just nice and casual, good conversation, some shimmying here and there. It was a good time.

One of my favorite parts of the night was what I did when I was pretty tipsy. I wanted to play beer pong, so I went to see what the wait was like. There was a list on the wall and someone told me that most of those teams had already played, so I took it upon myself to ERASE THE ENTIRE BOARD. With my hand. And put only my name on top. Then I walked away and never came back.

I'm so classy.

Saturday, I had plans to go out with this girl whom I adore and will name Little D, because she's so little! Love her though.

Anyway, it being St. Patty's day in New York, I was considering doing the whole "day drink until you vomit green" thing, but instead I hung out at home.

We finally met up at 10pm. I was being really good and only brought a small mixed drink on the train, and a small bottle of ginger ale. I am really working on this black out situation! Little D was late, as usual, but whatever. We went over to Brother Jimmy's for wings and a Fish Bowl.

The fish bowl wasn't very strong, but it was perfect in a way, because it allowed us to gradually get tipsy. Then we went to meet up with one of her guys and his friends, but not before doing Irish Car Bombs at the bar and belting out Journey and dancing.

I told you we were classy.

At the first bar, we got a lot of vodka and a little bit of cranberry juice, because the bartender liked Little D.

Here are some of my favorite moments from that bar:

1. One of the friends we had met up with was wasted, and was kind of smelling D's neck...in front of his friend, who she was with. So we knew he had to go. Every time I saw him with a drink I would take it out of his hand and move it to the other side of the bar. I had never met this man before, and the look on his drunken face when I rook the beers was priceless.

2. We walked into the back room and there was a BIG girl on the pool table. I abruptly stopped, turned around, and exited the back room saying "It's time to go when there are fat people on the pool tables." I proceeded to explain how I used to be fat, and I wouldn't be caught dead on a pool table, because you never know how sturdy those things are.

I pretty much kept the drinks flowing until we were ready to go. I chatted with a lot of random people and had a lot of fun.

We went to Mercury Bar after that where we were a mess, but in a good way. Not sloppy, just not sober. 

-I convinced a girl that my family was from the same place as hers in Ireland.
-We somehow got beads, somehow. (By asking someone). Some guy asked me for one of my beads, and I responded with "What are you going to show me for them?" He lifted his shirt and showed his abs and chest, and I said "Sorry, not good enough, I really like these beads." And walked away.
-Danced with a lot of service men
-Kept losing D. I would go to look for her, and she would have just walked in the opposite direction looking for me.

D wanted fries from McDonald's and when we were on line this guy skipped her, and she called him out on it. He was a rude "model" and we told him that. Then I proceeded to tell him "You really shouldn't be eating greasy McDonald's your skin is not that great to begin with, and this won't help." Then we walked away. As we were leaving, I dropped D's french fries on the floor. All of them. I proceeded to tell them I was "Going to play my white card and get more."...I got a whole replacement order for free. The woman at the counter didn't even ask, she already had the fries ready because she saw me drop them.

Then I stole an orange from a street fruit man. Well...I was about to, because he was nowhere in sight. I ended up buying it and a nectarine.

Basically, it was a great night and I didn't black out at all!...That's a bit of lie though.

When I got home, I was texting Steel Pans and he was coming over. I unlocked the door, got myself into my pajamas, and the next thing I remember was waking up with no pants.

He did indeed come over though. Ah the things I do when I drink.

Yesterday, I went to a Trivia Meetup. Walked about 2-3 miles to get there. Drank a lot of beer. Had some of the answers. Had good conversations with professionals. It was a really good time. Had a hard time sleeping though, and so I came into work late.

Tomorrow I have a dessert making class, which means I can't go to dollar beer night, but I'm sure it will be delicious.

Sorry for partying? A return to having a social life.

No seriously. I had to apologize for accepting a free beer yesterday. In fact, my "date" left me because of it.

Let's rewind back to the beginning. On Sunday I started talking to this guy from OKC. It was awesome. Our texting was perfect. I had such a grade school kid crush. We made plans to meet up yesterday for drinks.

I worked until 7:30pm, even though my intention was to just watch tv on my work computer to kill time. Obviously, that was not one of the researchers I work with's plan.

I finally met up with the guy at 8pm by Grand Central. He was in this bar called Muldoons that had a shitty crowd, but they had Karaoke, which is totally his thing. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, I was not impressed. His voice and mannerisms reminded me of 'Bino...who is gay. Something about him just didn't sit right at first, but I tried to make the best of the situation.

I bought myself my first drink, because he didn't really offer...which was interesting in and of itself. Maybe I just jumped the gun because I needed a drink. Blue moon with an Absolut Mandarin topper, please and thank you.

He sang. He was really into it. He sounded terrible, in my humble opinion. He thinks he sounds great. Bad sign number 2. Still trying to make this work because we had such great text chemistry (does that even exist?!). They were promoting Irish beers for St. Patty's day, so we had a flight of free beer (Harp, Smithwick's and Guinness). We turned the Guinness into a small Irish Car Bomb, which he did pay for. Redemption. Still at -1 though.

We went to this place called Turtle Bay afterwards and got another beer. Note, it was dollar beer night. We were hanging out downstairs when he decided that we should go upstairs. We went upstairs and shortly thereafter he went to use the restroom.

In that time, I was left standing there with my dollar beer, and a guy and his two friends were sitting at the bar with 20 beers in front of them. I had just finished my beer, and one of the guys, a big guy. 6'4" and hefty, offered me one of their millions of beers. Why would I decline? I was waiting for the other guy, I was out of beer, and it was a dollar. You can't expect anything in return for a dollar beer when you have 20 of them, right?

So I drank, we flirted a bit, and I kept checking for the guy I came with to come back. Then I get a text.

Apparently, the guy saw me "flirting" with big dude and decided it was time for him to go because I was ridiculous/rude for accepting the beer and blah blah blah. I sent a bunch of messages back, tried to call him, he didn't answer. He finally said he was outside. I went to go "talk" to him.

I told him I was looking for him, and he was being ridiculous. It became kind of an argument. I said something to the effect of "I'm not arguing about this. Not here. Not now." and I started to walk away. He said "I'm not going to chase after you." My response? "I wasn't asking you to."

And that was the end of that. I haven't spoken to him since. I went back in and continued to enjoy my evening. I was dancing and probably had at least 6 more beers because big dude decided to buy two more rounds of 20. I hadn't eaten, and for whatever reason I didn't eat the wings they offered me. I was really excited at the thought of going to the strip club which they had brought up. One of them, the one who kind of looked Asian, but turns out was hispanic (I'm thinking Filipino...is it wrong that I wanted to write "Flip". Whatever.) He wasn't going to come to the strip club, so I tried to convince him. I guess that kind of led to flirting.

I don't really know what happened, but big dude went to the bathroom and I was talking to Flip. He expressed his interest in me and when big dude came back we kind of were trying to sneak away. It was like a little game. I don't know how it all happened, but we snuck upstairs and were talking and then when we came back downstairs big dude was upset. Called me a bitch and a ho, because I "chose his friend" over him.

I really can't keep up with this whole story. Big dude was wasted. I was pretty done. Flip was laying it on thick, my ego grew to the size of the bar. It was so sweet. He kept talking about my boobs and ass though. I guess I looked hot. Cha ching!

We went downstairs and he bought me another beer. We were chatting and somehow I ended up going home with him. Back to Brooklyn. To Williamsburg. He bought me a sandwich that I didn't eat until this morning. We just made out a lot. Nothing more than that. It was late as shit. He spent HOURS trying to convince me to stay. He offered his bed, and he would sleep on the couch. He offered the keys to his apartment so I could lock up behind me if I left for work after him. Ridiculous.

I called a car service and we waited in the FREEZING COLD at 4:30am. I think he was upset-ish I didn't stay with him. When I got in the cab, he just kind of said a quick bye and took off. He was going to give me money for the cab, but he didn't. I wish he had. That shit cost me 28 bucks!

Also, the car service driver decided it would be a good time to hit on me. It was really funny actually. He was disappointed that the guy and I didn't hook up though, because "nobody won".

All in all, absurd night. I pissed off two guys. Went home with another. Managed to keep my pants on.

I went to work at 11am today. Big mess.

It's 70 degrees outside. Honey tonight. I might die. I hope my stomach gets its act together, because I need to it to steel up.

Beer might be the solution to my blacking out problem.

I'll add pictures later when my stupid phone connects to facebook.

I really want to post..

But my boobs are itching so much it's ALL I can think about. Seriously, this is absurd.

Here's a recap of what's happened in the past few days.

• I'm still talking to the new friend and actually will be going with him to the ENT in about an hour.
• I shared a pitcher of cider at the Stumble on Friday with my coworker which left a really nice buzz and was a good time.
• Friday we celebrated the Mexican's birthday. Dinner was $78 each, and that was the cheapest out of what everyone paid.
• I didn't drink at the second bar we went to, but I did see my fellow...which was awkward.
• Didn't do anything until Sunday night - even though I sort of had plans.
• Started talking to a new guy yesterday that I'm really feeling. He's my DB4L (Drinking Buddy 4 Life)
• Steel Pans came over last night, and stayed. I forgot that he snores. It made sleeping VERY difficult. We did cuddle a little bit though, so that was nice.
• I have plans for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday...and I'm tired just thinking about it.

That is all.

Package hoarder

I am a packaging product hoarder. That's right, I said it. I save things that other things come packaged in. I save bags (plastic and otherwise), boxes (of all sizes), packaging air pockets, bubble wrap, tissue paper, etc.

The reason I'm telling you this is because I ran over my phone charger that I keep at work with my chair. I was able to bend it back into submission and get it working, but I fear hurting my phone if I keep using the slightly bent part that goes into the phone. I brought another charger to work today. As I took it out of its mini ziploc bag and undid the twist-tie, I considered discarding them once I had the charge out...but no. I said to myself, and actually aloud "I like both of these things." and proceeded to put the twist tie into the baggie, and the baggie into my purse. Obviously, I think they may be of some use in the future. I'm always prepared to pack things!

In my bedroom, I have a window seat. Half of my window seat is covered with bags. Half of that half is purses, of which I probably use three. The other half, plastic and paper. Bags of ALL sizes. Gift bags, gigantic bags, bags with handles, canvas bags, other materialed bags. I hoard. I also have a stack of empty shoe boxes which for a while I called my "side table" for my couch, because it reached up to the height of where the table would be. It's not a side table. It's a stack of empty goddamn shoe boxes. I'm going to add another to the pile later this afternoon in fact. For now, my new shoes sit in their shoe box, in another box, on my floor for me to trip over every time I walk from one end of my room to the other. I actually put a new smaller cardboard box into the box with the shoebox yesterday because I got a new mp3 player so that I can actually shuffle the songs that I play on my xmini speaker.

I've always been a box hoarder. I used to collect cute little boxes. I used to have boxes of all decorative types. That was my thing. Now I collect fucking cardboard. Where did I go wrong?!

Jesus, I need a hobby.

In other news. My next trip to Jamaica is all booked, minus the hotel for the first night in Montego Bay. Makes me a touch nervous, but it's Wednesday and Sugar ASSURES me that there will be availability when we get there. Ok...fingers crossed.

Look how bright the walls in the bedroom are at our apartment (the living room is brighter!) How Jamaica-y.

This will be B's last trip before she moves to Mo-Town. I don't know how I feel about this.

[insert segue here]

Last night I went to my high school's alumni networking party at Upstairs at the Kimberly Hotel. It was beautiful. I was nervous because I was feeling anti-social as shit. So I sat there, and drank beer. And then alumni from my year showed up. A girl who I have known my whole life, and a boy who I knew from fifth grade on. The night got better from there. We chatted, caught up, talked to alum from the year after us. We spent 4 hours there. I had a really good time, and was very thankful for the encouragement from all of my friends who told me to stop being so fucking anti-social and do something.

The roof was obviously closed last night, but it didn't make the roof any less amazing!

[insert more brilliant segue here]

I have a new friend at work, or at least who works next door. We go to lunch. It's been really pleasant. I'll let you know how it goes.

[insert final most excellent segue here]

I can't remember what else I was going to say.

It's OK, because tomorrow's Friday

As you may know, if you are a reader of this blog, I had surgery last Wednesday.

I'm back at work for my second day today, and I'm sleepy...

• That I'm jealous of Mo being on her way to/in Orlando this weekend during All-Star weekend because I love tall athletic men (and she didn't even know it was happening!)
• That my parents are dog sitting until Sunday and it makes me really happy seeing my dad with dog again
• To eat two brownies and two cookies that you brilliantly stashed from yesterday
• To have surgery, just because you think it'll make you better somehow
• That my body is about 30% covered with heinous bruises right now
• That my skin is so dry it's disgusting me, and no amount of lotion seems to be helping
• To feel like your head is a million pounds
• To be eating jelly beans even though they're making you sick
• To have learned to deal with a baseline amount of pain for now, because you I can't keep taking painkillers like candy
• To be excited about being able to sleep semi comfortably on your side
• To have gone on a really sweet lunch date yesterday and not marked it as taking lunch on your timesheet
• To be drinking water from a bottle you filled up in Kingston, Jamaica 3 weeks ago
• To be ready for bed at 3pm, yet know that when it's actually time for bed, you will not be able to sleep
• To be confused because last night B was ready to go to Jamaica, and now she's not even though I've been looking at the prices and such
• To not know whether to be upset about this or not
• To just have lost motivation to write more.

Here are some of my bruises, maybe I'll actually update about the surgery soon.

Jelly less belly.

First off, thanks to my coworker, I'm going to need you all to go to google.com and watch the Valentine's video, because it's cute.

Second, thanks to my boss, I'm eating sour jelly beans uncontrollably at 10am. Thanks Doc.

Third, I made sushi yesterday...but with rice noodles that I overcooked by accident because my mother took over the kitchen. Actually, I'm not really upset about this because it was the first time in a VERY long time, that my mother and I weren't at each other's throats in the kitchen. We actually worked side by side and shared! I know. It's hard to believe. The kitchen is an area of great tumult, but we did it folks. I, however, was feeling really out of it by the end of the cooking adventure and I refused to clean up after myself. And guess what? She was ok with that! My mom was ok with me not cleaning the dishes. Hopefully the cleaning lady comes today like she's supposed to. We use an absurd amount of bowls in my house.


I am thankful for good moods, and not wanting to kill the people you love.

Moving on. I have deemed 2012 the year of replacement.

That's right folks. 2010 the year of dance. I believe 2011 was the year of loss. 2012, the year of replacement.

Since the beginning of the year I have had to replace my camera twice, my credit card twice, headphones, my drivers license, my phone, memory cards, my watch and most recently, my laptop's hard drive.. I'm sure there are other things too.

New watch on its way!

There's really nothing "better" than coming home from a vacation where a lot of your belongings were stolen, just to find that your computer no longer wants to work and insists on giving you, as my dad calls it, the BSOD (blue screen of death). I would really like to catch up to the episode of Downton Abbey that my tv recorded last week. Also, I'm going to be out of work for the next few days and I would like to have some internet access. Considering my phone internet has been finicky lately, I'm hoping that my dad's total wipe of my computer system and re-installation will work its magic and I'll actually be able to use my beloved laptop while I'm on sick leave.

I should probably tell you why I'm going on sick leave.

Well I don't know how many of you were here in the beginning (when I started this blog last April), but if you were here, then you might know that in June 2008 I had gastric bypass surgery. I have since then lost about 150lbs (mostly within the first year of having the surgery).

If any of you are aware of the effects of rapid weight loss not due to obsessive exercising and toning...and even with exercise and toning, then you'll understand that "skin" becomes the enemy. Last February, you might remember, that I had a lower abdominoplasty where they removed the excess skin and fascia from my lower abdomen and pretty much trashed it. I am all scarred up, but now I have a "flat" belly, and wear a smaller pant size.

Tomorrow, I do the top half. This includes the fat wings, that I've been rocking for years. Boobs, that are not currently the way a 25 year old's should look, and some of my sides. The implant will come in about three months if I can't handle having small"er" boobs. I don't think I'll be able to actually because my fucking thighs are the size of the moon and I'm going to be so incredibly pear shaped that I might just have to throw myself out of a tree.  I mean, I already kind of feel like Rex from Toy Story, with the huge thighs and flat "belly"...and now I'll have the tiny arms to boot!

I'm not really worried about the surgery. I don't really get worried about things like this. I know it'll go fine. I'm healthy (enough) and I have good recovery time. Hopefully I'll be back in work by next Tuesday. Sure, I won't have full range of motion in my arms, and I may still have fluid drains hanging from me, but by George I think I'll do it.

I'll keep you updated on my progress. I should probably take before and after pictures again, but that might be scary. Eep!

That being said, I'm hoping that this change in body will help my change in attitude and force me to get out there more and meet more people.

Don't get me wrong I love my friends, all 4 of them (hardy har har)...but I really need to get out and do more things. I'm pretty excited to go with Mo down to ATL and Florida in May though. I haven't seen my family in years, it's time.

On that note, enjoy your Valentine's Day, folks. Love you all! May all of you be "blessed" with jelly beans, as I have been!

By the way, just because it's Valentine's day and you're feeling all lovey and floaty and whatever, doesn't mean you should walk more slowly and block the whole goddamn sidewalk.Thank you, and have a nice day.