Jelly less belly.

First off, thanks to my coworker, I'm going to need you all to go to google.com and watch the Valentine's video, because it's cute.

Second, thanks to my boss, I'm eating sour jelly beans uncontrollably at 10am. Thanks Doc.

Third, I made sushi yesterday...but with rice noodles that I overcooked by accident because my mother took over the kitchen. Actually, I'm not really upset about this because it was the first time in a VERY long time, that my mother and I weren't at each other's throats in the kitchen. We actually worked side by side and shared! I know. It's hard to believe. The kitchen is an area of great tumult, but we did it folks. I, however, was feeling really out of it by the end of the cooking adventure and I refused to clean up after myself. And guess what? She was ok with that! My mom was ok with me not cleaning the dishes. Hopefully the cleaning lady comes today like she's supposed to. We use an absurd amount of bowls in my house.


I am thankful for good moods, and not wanting to kill the people you love.

Moving on. I have deemed 2012 the year of replacement.

That's right folks. 2010 the year of dance. I believe 2011 was the year of loss. 2012, the year of replacement.

Since the beginning of the year I have had to replace my camera twice, my credit card twice, headphones, my drivers license, my phone, memory cards, my watch and most recently, my laptop's hard drive.. I'm sure there are other things too.

New watch on its way!

There's really nothing "better" than coming home from a vacation where a lot of your belongings were stolen, just to find that your computer no longer wants to work and insists on giving you, as my dad calls it, the BSOD (blue screen of death). I would really like to catch up to the episode of Downton Abbey that my tv recorded last week. Also, I'm going to be out of work for the next few days and I would like to have some internet access. Considering my phone internet has been finicky lately, I'm hoping that my dad's total wipe of my computer system and re-installation will work its magic and I'll actually be able to use my beloved laptop while I'm on sick leave.

I should probably tell you why I'm going on sick leave.

Well I don't know how many of you were here in the beginning (when I started this blog last April), but if you were here, then you might know that in June 2008 I had gastric bypass surgery. I have since then lost about 150lbs (mostly within the first year of having the surgery).

If any of you are aware of the effects of rapid weight loss not due to obsessive exercising and toning...and even with exercise and toning, then you'll understand that "skin" becomes the enemy. Last February, you might remember, that I had a lower abdominoplasty where they removed the excess skin and fascia from my lower abdomen and pretty much trashed it. I am all scarred up, but now I have a "flat" belly, and wear a smaller pant size.

Tomorrow, I do the top half. This includes the fat wings, that I've been rocking for years. Boobs, that are not currently the way a 25 year old's should look, and some of my sides. The implant will come in about three months if I can't handle having small"er" boobs. I don't think I'll be able to actually because my fucking thighs are the size of the moon and I'm going to be so incredibly pear shaped that I might just have to throw myself out of a tree.  I mean, I already kind of feel like Rex from Toy Story, with the huge thighs and flat "belly"...and now I'll have the tiny arms to boot!

I'm not really worried about the surgery. I don't really get worried about things like this. I know it'll go fine. I'm healthy (enough) and I have good recovery time. Hopefully I'll be back in work by next Tuesday. Sure, I won't have full range of motion in my arms, and I may still have fluid drains hanging from me, but by George I think I'll do it.

I'll keep you updated on my progress. I should probably take before and after pictures again, but that might be scary. Eep!

That being said, I'm hoping that this change in body will help my change in attitude and force me to get out there more and meet more people.

Don't get me wrong I love my friends, all 4 of them (hardy har har)...but I really need to get out and do more things. I'm pretty excited to go with Mo down to ATL and Florida in May though. I haven't seen my family in years, it's time.

On that note, enjoy your Valentine's Day, folks. Love you all! May all of you be "blessed" with jelly beans, as I have been!

By the way, just because it's Valentine's day and you're feeling all lovey and floaty and whatever, doesn't mean you should walk more slowly and block the whole goddamn sidewalk.Thank you, and have a nice day.

I have returned!

I could update about how great my trip to Jamaica was (because it was, until Monday morning). I could lie and say I didn't black out every night. I can tell you that I didn't do anything really stupid (but that would also be a lie). I could say that I'm really mean sometimes, and yet too nice to the point where people know IMMEDIATELY how to take advantage of me.

Honestly, I just wish I could show you pictures of the trip. I wish I could recount all of the great memories that B and I have...but I have no pictures. Not a single one, because guess what. I was robbed. Again.

That's right. I made it all the way to Sunday night with all of my stuff. Then...a Jamaican made me angry. I pounded back the alcohol in a VERY short period of time, and I blacked out. Bad. I was obsessed with selling these three hats that I had gone to 5 different footlockers to pick up for someone, like a fool.

I kept talking about them. I thought I was going to sell them to this guy with honey eyes. He came back to the room, and the next day (when I woke up from my blackout), I had no hats. I had no phone. I had no camera. I had no watch.

No watch! I got that watch when I was 15, in 11th grade. 10 years, and gone because I can't keep from blacking out.

That last day tainted the whole trip. As soon as the Giants won the Superbowl, it went downhill from there.

So again, this trip cost me WAY more than anticipated because now I have to replace all of my belongings again. Let us remember that I replaced that camera 2 weeks ago.

I just can't get a break.

I'm glad I have my phone back so I can talk to Mo, but honestly, I was perfectly content without a phone. People just make things complicated.

In other news, Sugar is engaged and the wedding will probably be the next time I go to Jamaica.

And, I'm having surgery on Wednesday...

I don't know how I feel about the surgery right now. I'm feeling a touch selfish because there's a potential that I will be spending more money on this surgery than a person supporting a family of 4 might make in a year in this city and still be considered over the poverty line...or at least that's how I feel.

I'm sure there are a million more things I could say. In fact, maybe I will talk about my trip more, but I'll wait until I'm laying in bed post-surgery feeling like shit with nothing to do but watch tv.