Recapitulation of recent revelry

Seeing as how I'm going out of town for the next week, I figured I would actually post so as to avoid the "bad blogger" syndrome. I can't say that I have much to talk about, but I'm sure I can come up with something.

Holy crap, I thought I had posted about my weekend. Guess not, maybe I do indeed have something to talk about.

Friday.

I went to see my friend and her new baby. I didn't want to hold the baby. It was two days old, and I don't know if I've told you before, but I don't really enjoy holding children who cannot hold up their own head. I don't know why, but it's true. I had also been dealing with raw shrimp about 30 minutes before I went to go over to the house, and I don't care how much hand washing you do...raw shrimp hands are not something you should touch a newborn with. I was only there for about an hour before my friend got delirious after not having slept for 5 days, and I went home.

When I was there, I saw another of my old bowling teammates. Yeah, that's right, I used to bowl competitively. From ages 7-17, I was a competitive bowler. Eat that! Actually, when I was a Junior in high school, I played on a team with three other girls, all of which now have children and are/were married. I was the second bowler, and the cheerleader. Our team (the only all girl team) won the league that year. We kicked ass. I think my average was 187 that year. I could be found standing on the chairs at the bowling alley cheering for my teammates and trying to keep our third bowler (the new mom) from beating herself up too much when she didn't do well, and our anchor bowler (the divorcee - who was at new mom's house) from zoning out to the point where she would ignore what we were doing at the alley in order to pay attention to her flavor of the week.She's not the same person though - and she has an 8 month old.

Saturday:

Anyway, we made plans to go out the next night because her friend from Washington State was in town for the week and wanted to really experience going out in NY, and Divorcee JUST moved back to NYC a few weeks ago.

Around 10:30 I started to get ready. By get ready, I mean, I started drinking as I danced around and put my make up on. I spoke to B and we were going to go to Slate because her friend's friend was having a party there and why not. I also had the option of going to Sutra for my other friend's belated birthday celebration.

Divorcee and Washington State missed the 11:30pm ferry from Staten Island, and so they decided to drive to my house and then take the train with me into the city. I sat in my kitchen, still drinking, listening to the reggae channel, dancing, singing and waiting. We got ourselves together and took off to meet up with B and her friends.

As we crossed the bridge, B said that the cover for Slate was ridiculous, and they were only doing bottle service. Sutra had a $5...the decision had been made.

Sutra was PACKED. I have some pictures, but I haven't uploaded them yet, so you'll have to wait. I didn't blackout though. That's the really important part. Divorcee left super early because she just can't hang like she used to. WashState stayed with me and we shut down the club. She managed to get us a ride home, and it was amazing. As we were driving through Grand Army Plaza, we talked about standing up through the sunroof. She did it. I was in the back and pulled myself out of the window and sat on the edge - whilst the car was moving - and got AMAZING pictures of her. Very much like something you would see in a movie. It was a blast. Only downside was that there was a car full of guys that were driving next to us, and told WashState to show her boobs, which she wouldn't and when I said that, one of them yelled that I was too fat to be sitting on the window. Obviously not, homie. So biiiiite me!

Anyway, we got home. I left them sitting in the car and passed out. Apparently I made a long phone call to a 20 year old boy talking about dirty things in my sleep. So, maybe I didn't NOT blackout - but that's day 2 of keeping my blackouts to my house, which is a hell of an accomplishment.


Sunday:
I did NOTHING. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. B came over on Sunday night to commence packing. We did that for a few hours, and finally went to bed because packing is exhausting.

Monday:
I went to work and the temp had started.

I can't say I like this woman. She is of the "older" variety, and not pleasant to look at/smell...Also, I'm incredibly bitter about what they're doing to my coworker and I just don't want this new lady here, which is why I'm really happy to be getting out of the office for the next 4 business days.

I spent a lot of time at work reading a book on my Kindle - thanks to Safari Cloud Reader. Winner!

I took care of some personal hygiene things after work in preparation for my trip. It cost me a fortune and wasn't really worth the inflated price, but it WAS convenient. When I got home, B was already at my house. We finished packing, went to get dinner and then she went to her friend's house. The whole time we were discussing this trip and the potential for a million types of disasters. We made a pact though, that if shit hits the fan, we are NOT involved...and let me tell you, this fan may be worse than the one that almost took off my finger in October.

Tuesday
I wanted to kill this man on the train because I've just about had it up to HERE with people who take one step onto a train and don't move in any further when there are clearly people trying to get on behind you. Why am I maneuvering around your selfish ass. Next time, I'm just shoving bitches.

There are a few things I have learned in the past few years since my surgery. By "things" i mean, "eating habits I should really cut out". I did not abide by these findings today.

1. Dairy vs. KG. I can do cheeses, but milk - never a good idea. Ice cream, especially when I've eaten before I have it - BIG mistake.

2. Fried foods = bad - don't handle those well thanks to my gallbladder-less-ness.

3. Drinking whilst eating - especially carbonated beverages (that I don't often drink anyway), big nono.

All three of these things will result in major discomfort and most likely, regurgitation.

Guess what I had for lunch? Fried soft shell crab, sushi, and green tea ice cream.

I guarantee is does not taste as delicious coming up as it does going down. My stomach is still being grumpy. In fact it is being very NOISY in protestation of my earlier behavior.

I hope that it gets it together, because I will be drinking today, and every day for the next 7 days.

Dear liver, 

Sorry in advance for partying. Happy Easter!


Love, 
KG

Jamaica debacle continued

I was out of it on Friday when I woke up. Max made breakfast and I was lazy as shit. Wayne left and I had to wait for him to come back because I had no idea how to get to my room.

I did the walk of shame in a pair of ripped silk harem pants and a sparkly gray top. I'm surprised I put on pants, because I don't think I put them on the night before to walk to Sugar's room, although I don't remember.

The night before - note sparkly top

Either way, I pretty much lazed around all day - I went out to the pool to meet up with the girls at some point and we went through the evening before. Sober me didn't choose sides. I kept saying over and over, I just don't understand how this thing with Khani can be so serious, and why didn't Paris come see Kim in the hospital or at least check on her.

In order for her to take her pain pills, Kim needed to eat though, so we decided to go get food. We were going to get burger king but it was packed. So we went to go get Pizza. Yeah, I live in the Pizza capital of the world, but that's what we decided to get in Jamaica. I don't know how, but we did. Anyway, we got the pizza and then went to go pick up some beer and more booze.

Kim decided she was feeling OK enough to at least go out one night I was there. We allowed her a few beers, and then we pre-gamed. I was carrying around a bottle of vodka and cranberry water for a while actually. The first place we went to was called Baywatch. They lost power after a few minutes of us being there and then we went to this place called John Crow's. Paris and Summer were there with Mona and Mina (all Chicagoans). I spoke to Paris briefly and then she was sitting with Kim basically yelling at her. I don't know anything they talked about (well I do now, because according to Paris, Kim kind of admitted she knew about Khani and that Paris had done the same thing with Keron back in April or whatever after knowing Kim and Keron were talking - I don't know if this is true, or care, but welcome to what Jamaican men are like...always creating problems). Khani kept going over to give things to Kim and I guess Kim was rubbing it in Paris' face? Not sure about that either because all I remember is going over, grabbing Khani and pulling him away from the table and telling him he needed to stop going over to the table, it was just adding fuel to the fire. See, I really was trying to help? I guess not enough though.

Then I blacked out. We went to a strip club - I only remember about 10 seconds of this though.

The next thing I remember is sex in the pool again, but going back to my room this time, because Ashley went back to Sugar's.

I woke up later that night to clean some of the apartment. I got into a bit of a tiff with Khani. I don't remember much, but I remember him grabbing my wrist for something...probably because I cut my hand on a broken glass and wouldn't show him that I was bleeding. I had a bruise on my wrist the next day. Asshole =(

I passed out after that, but we had to be up early-ish in the morning so we could go on this booze cruise.

I was a MESS. I was so tired and out of it and pretty much over the whole thing, but we got our acts together and went; Sugar, Max, Ashley and I. It was SWELTERING when we first go to the boat. We all literally wanted to peel off our skin. It was so gross. We waited about an hour and change for the rest of the boat to fill up. We just kind of hung around on the boat until it was time to get off and swim/snorkel in the sea. That was really pleasant, except I was tired and constantly fighting the tide. And everyone had to wear these big obnoxious floaties. Oh, and I was in starvation mode. I literally felt myself falling apart. I had to buy little boxes of pringles with a credit card, which was a hassle on its own!

Max relaxing

Sunbathing

We got back on the boat and it was a lot cooler - being wet and all. Then we arrived at Dunns River Falls, where I probably should've walked up the falls, but 1. I didn't have cash and I refused to deal with the credit card to buy shoes again, 2. I was so tired and out of it, I knew I'd fall and then I'd be the one in the hospital and 3. We could start drinking...so we did.

Bottom of Dunns River Falls

Ash and Sug were drinking rum punches (which I think are gross, because their rum is nasty there), and I was drinking red stripe. Max' friend Jade, challenged me to chugging contests. I never won, but I got really close. I beat another big white guy on the boat though. We were in the perfect spot on the boat because there was a window to the back of the bar that we could order through, and Jade kept the drinks flowing. I probably had 16 red stripes in an hour...no problem. Sug and Ash got pretty wasted. When I got back to the room, I was exhausted, and Ash was walking around being drunk and it was great.

Doing the cotten eye joe

Combining beers

She was dancing on the moving boat and didn't spill ONE drink

I could hardly eat the KFC that Khani and Ash went out and got for everyone, so I gave it to Jen (who was the one who got married on Wednesday). We got ready and didn't drink all that much because we had to be at Margaritaville by midnight. Wayne drank my to-go bottle.

Margaritaville was a blast. Jade met up with us and he was buying EVERYONE drinks. I was pretty boozed up, but not blacked out! By that point, it was just awkward between the two groups. They stood very close to us (and although Paris explains that's because that's where they ALWAYS stand) I just thought it was weird. I went over to talk to them though, but it was strange and after "how are you, are you having a good time" the conversation died. By this point, I found out they were mad at me, because they invited me to their room one of the nights before while I was blacked out and I never showed up, so they thought I had taken sides. I really tried not to, and I still hadn't up to that point. I had to talk Khani down from confronting Paris...good thing I did, no more violence was needed.

So much fun!

Either way, at the end of the night I went to go to the bathroom and Wayne caught up with me and asked me if I was going home with Jade. I told him I was and asked if he needed to get his bag from my room. He did, so I had Jade wait for me while I walked Wayne back to the room with Khani. Khani had gotten chicken for Kim and I took a piece and that started an argument so when we got to the room, he was upset and we continued to fight about something. I went to change into my pajamas while arguing and got my hand caught in the metal ceiling fan. Fucked up three of my fingers, but I guess it's nothing too serious, still hurts a bit though.

Anyway, I went home with Jade and we spent the night at his house. In the morning he took me back to the hotel and I was laying on the couch, waiting for my alarm to go off because I set it so that everyone could get up and get ready to leave...it never went off.

My phone was lost/stolen - whatever. I still think Wayne took it, but he says he didn't. Max caught up with him after we left and took him to the precinct and I guess he ran when he saw Max and said he would take him to the guy he sold the phone to, but his story changed. At this point, there's not much to say. I couldn't call JBike to come get me from the airport so I had to pay $40 to go home when I got back to the states. Also, I had to pay $500 for a new phone, which blows...really badly.

I need to get over it though, nothing can be done now. I'm not taking my blackberry to jamaica anymore. Paris warned me that it was going to get stolen and she was right - maybe it was Karma...like she thinks Kim's arm is.

Anyway, I was irritated but what could I do. We had to leave. We took the shuttle to the airport. The Canadian's flight was at 2:20, mine wasn't until 6. They wouldn't let me check in until 2. So basically I spent 6 hours in the airport with no phone just staring into space and FREEZING.

The flight was fine and it was nice to be home.

In the end, I made three good friends and lost two people.

The drama continued while I was home and when I went to Chicago, so stay tuned for my Chicago update.

I might go back and reformat these posts at some point. I have pictures, but I'm so blah about the whole thing nowadays that I feel no real motivation.

Just be happy you weren't involved (unless your Mo, in which case I'm sorry you got pulled into it)

October vacations and drama part 1.

 I thought I would be able to write all about my vacation today, but it stressed me out so badly earlier that I'm going to start, and if I can't finish until tomorrow/next week...it'll be ok.

I would give people "fake" names, but there are too many people involved that I would lose track and it's just not worth it.

Here's a preface to the preface: It has now been two weeks since I went to Jamaica, things have settled down a bit, but they got pretty bad. That being said, I now know all of the stories from everyone's perspective, so I'm a little less angry or on one side of the fence. I'm going to have to post this update in a bunch of different sections, because it's a mess. Chances are, I will throw in some commentary about what I now know/believe, versus what I believed at the time things happened...I hope this all makes sense.

Here's a little preface: Last year, at the end of July I went to the Caribbean Festival in Toronto called Caribana, where I met Kim and Ashley, who are from Canada. Paris, I know from Chicago through Mo and travels to Jamaica. I have talked to Kim occasionally throughout the year on BBM, and while we never really got close, I got a great vibe from her and we definitely wanted to hang out again. I had not spoken to Ashley in a year. When I was deciding to go to Jamaica, Paris was the one who finally convinced me to go.

I was hesitant because I would be going alone. She told me there was no way that she would be going, even though I begged her to come. I needed a vacation though, so I decided to meet up with Kim who would already be down in Jamaica. Paris talked it up for a million years it felt like. She told me all about the great times I would have, and where we went each night and all sorts of good stuff. Normally, I go to Montego Bay, but this time I would be making my first trip to Ocho Rios, a bit more country than Mo Bay, which is like a tourist town.

Ocho Rios is just about halfway between Mo Bay and the capital of Jamaica, Kingston. Kingston doesn't ever get a good reputation, but lo and behold, flying there is WAY cheaper. Thanks to tripadvisor, I also found a great bus that goes from New Kingston, to Ochie for really cheap. It would normally be like $150 USD to charter a taxi/shuttle from the Kingston airport to Ochie, but from New Kingston (about 20 minutes into town) it was $15 one way. I didn't want to risk missing my flight back, so I decided to fly out of Mo Bay with the Canadians on Sunday.

The Tuesday before I was set to leave, I get a message from Paris.

"Have you spoken to Kim?"

"No, I was going to message her tomorrow." I had spoken to her over the weekend and she just said to text when I was coming.

"She broke her arm in Jamaica."

"WHAT?!"

"Is she OK? Do you have anyone else's number down there? She was the only person whose number I had." She didn't help me.

Later that night I got a text from Ashley, Kim's sister, saying to text her when I got to Ochie. I asked how Kim was - she was still in the hospital. I was a bit freaked out, because I was going to be in Ochie before noon and I had to do all of this stuff that was brand new to me by myself.


I survived.

Other than wanting to kill this little girl who screamed the ENTIRE flight, it was fine. We got delayed an hour because Caribbean Airlines' main hub lost power and couldn't be contacted by air traffic control for clearance. I fell asleep 2 minutes after this announcement and didn't wake up again until our descent, where I got to hear the kid scream some more.

I was too tired/lazy to exchange my money for Jamaican at the airport, and I was also too lazy/tired to look for a city cab (red license plates), so I took JUTA (Jamaican United Transportation Association - I believe). It was a rip off. I only had American money, which they charge more in, and the driver had no more change. I ended up paying about $35 USD for a cab that should've been no more than $20, but I got to the bus station just fine, so that's ok.

I waited in the station talking to a Barbadian woman and watching a Jamaican kids game show.

The bus ride was great. I slept through it. The drive from Kingston to Ochie is through the hills, so it's very narrow and windy, and a bit scary. The bus had to honk around every turn to let the other drivers know he was coming.

I got to the station and texted Ashley. It was a five minute walk from the condo. Ashley and Khani (a 21 year old Jamaican guy - that turns out to be very important during this trip) come to retrieve me. I change clothes and we go to the hospital to see if Kim can get discharged.

Jamaican hospitals SUCK. It was really low amenities, third world type shit with ants in the bed, no TV, just weirdness. Not as clean as it should've been.

I got the whole story about her falling off of the back of a pick up truck and the other guy that got hurt (His name was Keron - or Karen, I still don't quite know the exact spelling, but it turns out that he plays a much bigger role in all of the drama than I thought. He was released from the hospital the day after the accident though, had some road rash on his face and chest, lost his nipple ring kind of thing but he looked ok when we saw him later on Thursday), and her horrific first night in the emergency room (10 hours on a board aka gurney, watching 6 people get stitched up from being stabbed, no AC), and how they let her go to her best friend's wedding for 6 hours with a nurse and gave her morphine shots in the ass while she was there. It was just awful. I felt so bad, but she seemed to be in OK spirits for just having had $8,000 USD emergency surgery that was almost refused to her because the doctor wouldn't do the surgery without money in hand, and so the insurance company had to call from Canada and give a credit card company. Bad, bad, bad. They also made her buy her own sling and medications before she could leave the hospital.

Sugar, Ashley, Jen and Kim with her broken arm

Anyway, we got her out at like 4pm when Sugar, the final Canadian (who I had heard about before but never met) and her boyfriend Max, came to pick us up. (Max was the driver of the pick up truck Kim fell off of - but it wasn't on purpose so it was overlooked.)

On the way back, Sugar told us that someone had seen Paris arrive. Now, Paris wasn't supposed to be there, but I was really excited she was. Little did I know the drama that was about to ensue.

I quickly learned that Khani was an instigator. He picked fights with Ashley whose nerves were completely frazzled from the whole situation. Basically, he acts like a little kid...but he cares, or at least acts like it. He's like a little brother, a really annoying little brother that creates a lot of problems. Still like the kid though.

Khani and Sugar

When we got back, we kind of hung out in the condo for a few hours, went to get some Jamaican food, ran all around Ochie doing god knows what, and then came back to get ready. Everyone was a bit upset that Paris never came over to check on Kim, nor did she call. Ok, maybe everyone was a little more than upset, and myself not knowing any of the situation at all, I was upset because Kim and Paris were supposed to be friends...I mean, Paris spent over a week talking Kim up and singing her praises, so why wouldn't she come to the hospital...don't worry, I'll get there.

I had brought a bottle of Absolut 100 with me. I wish I had brought two. Next time I will - I thought duty free might be open. Oh well. So we went out to this place called Amnesia that night, and boy is that an appropriate name because I don't remember much of it. What I do remember though, is Max buying a bottle of apple vodka (I chipped in) and me drinking a lot of it (actually I don't remember that, but I was told). Then Paris arrived.

She started trying to "talk" to me about the whole situation with Kim, but more so yell at me. I told her I didn't care about the history, or what was going on, I was just upset she let me flounder. What was explained to me though is that back in January, Paris met Khani and they hooked up. The next two times Paris went to Ochie this year, they hooked up. However, it was agreed by Khani, Mona (Paris' friend) and a bunch of other people that they were not together. When Kim had gotten to Jamaica, she met Khani. They hooked up. She didn't know that he had been with Paris. (I got to hear an entirely different backstory later - but that's for later)

Well, Paris felt some kind of way about this. She was FUMING. She started a fight with Ashley (according to Paris, Ashley is the one who approached her), who was just pissed/upset that Paris showed up and hadn't gone to see Kim in the hospital. She yelled at Sugar, who should have told Kim that Paris and Khani had hooked up, but just didn't get involved. She blamed Sugar for "everything" and she argued with Ashley for a while longer.

Looked like we had fun though?

Sug and Max "dancing"

I was blacked out at this point, more happened, but I wouldn't find out until the next day. Keep this in mind though, because this is all secondhand information. I am recounting the story that was told to me by the Canadians. Paris' story is quite different. In Paris' version, she went to Amnesia with the intention of talking to no one, but Ashley approached her. Once that started, hell broke loose. Apparently, I yelled at her multiple times in the Canadians' defense. I still don't know to this day if Kim knew about Khani and Paris being together, or if she didn't until it was already too late. Look, it doesn't really matter, because in my mind, guys shouldn't get in the way of friendships, especially Jamaican guys. The stance I took was that I didn't understand why this guy was so important. From Paris' perspective, it wasn't that he was important, it was that she feels like Kim pretty much betrayed her, and knew about her and Khani and didn't care or have enough respect for Paris not to sleep with him. She also felt that Kim was being spiteful over something that happened with Keron.

Reminder: I was completely blacked out at this point, so not only do I not know what Paris' story is until the next week, I don't remember anything that happened, nor do I remember defending the Canadians and picking sides.

I come out of my blackout having sex in the pool at the condo. It was my idea. I re-black out.

I remember Khani stealing my clothes, and me telling him that I was going to beat his ass if he didn't bring them back...so he did. I didn't realize he thought this was actually a real threat, which it might've been...

The next thing I remember is having sex on the couch in Sugar's condo.

Then I wake up the next morning.

Here's what happened when I was blacked out:

At Amnesia:

• I YELLED at Khani, telling him it was all his fault that everyone was fighting. I told him I would fuck him up if he wasn't a child. I smacked him, backhanded him and smacked him again in the face. Then I somehow got him kicked out of the club
• Summer, Paris' best friend from Chicago, got into an altercation with Max, Sugar's boyfriend. Max is known to have a temper. She really shouldn't have fucked with him , but she yanked his chain off his neck. He smashed her head against the table.(According to Paris and Summer, what happened was is that Max was instigating actually, kind of "harassing" Paris and then something happened and he charged at her. At this point, Summer got in the way, putting her arm up to protect Paris and that pushing Max away action, prompted him to hit her). All I know is that when we got home, Summer took everything too goddamn far and out of everyone, she's the only one I'm mad at. Oh and she thinks I need to go to AA, doesn't believe I was blacked out, thinks I watched Max hit her and did nothing about it, and that I'm condoning his behavior by still being friends with him...there's more, but I don't even want to waste my words on her.
• Summer pressed charges against Max and the police came to get him from Sugar's room (where I was asleep) in the middle of the night. The guy I had sex with, Wayne (not his real name), went with her to get him out. Apparently it took about 15 minutes and nothing further was done (don't worry, Summer decided to go back to the station once the Canadians and I left, in order to make a complaint against the police for not doing more - however, it turns out she did go to the hospital, so if I had known I would've gone to see her. I try not to be a hypocrite)

Thus concluding day 1 of my Jamaican adventure.