I thought it might get better

but it doesn't. Or at least, it's not yet. I'm digging myself into this hole that I may never be able to get myself out of.

All I want is to be alone right now. I've pretty much alienated anyone who I could spend time with for various reasons, and I get to constantly be reminded that 10 seconds can ruin a life forever.

I'm really going to miss Steel Pans, and something tells me that this post should also be a farewell to B as well.

Yes folks, it is that bad.

"This too shall..."...well in my experience "hold tight, the ride's only going to get rougher" is a bit more appropriate, because passing is something that this will not be doing any time soon.

Oh, and I've been meaning to write about my house fire, but there never seemed to be a good time. Now, I don't know if there ever will be. Still no internet at the new house - maybe it's better that way. I feel out of touch, and I kind of want to be. Also, I don't think I'll actually be "touched" any time soon.

Fuck (or don't, I suppose).

Silently crying at my desk...

I'm currently waiting for some of the worst news a person can get. I'd say it's top ten on the list of things you don't want to hear, maybe even top 5...or at least in my top 5.

Needless to say, things haven't gotten better since the fire. They just keep getting worse.