Monday, May 9, 2011

"What are you interested in?"

This question is probably the most dreaded question I hear on a fairly regular basis. As I try to improve my circle of friends stock and meet new people, I am constantly asked this question. Now, it wouldn't be so bad, if I actually had said interests. However, I always draw a blank. I mean I like spending time with my friends (although I can't say I have a big group of them). I like watching tv (probably far too much to be healthy - and honestly who wants to say they enjoy being a couch potato...I actually want to sound interesting to these new people). I like seeing movies (don't go very often anymore, but I enjoy it when I do...but again, lazy activities). I like cooking, but only when I'm in the mood. I like baking, but haven't done it in months because it's probably better for my waistline not to have baked goods in the house. I like reading, but don't have a real specific genre I read other than "not non-fiction", and I generally only do this during my commute.

Pretty much, my greatest interest seems to be finding the negative in every situation.

I used to be involved - I used to be busy! I miss this. I'm busy, sure. I work 8 hours a day and either go to the gym after work (not as often as I should) or do something brief with a coworker, but other than that...I don't even know what I spend my time doing! I used to volunteer with non-profits. I used to be creative. Now I'm lucky if I can squeeze out half a post on a blog about how disinterested I am in everything.

What are people usually interested in? I miss playing trivia, but I can't do it alone. I don't bowl anymore because I would only do that competitively and I can't get back to Brooklyn in time. I don't know how to ride a bike. I'm no longer involved in a team sport, I don't volunteer for anything (because I can't think of what I would want to do). I'm not a gym rat, I don't cook on a regular basis, I'm not a musician or an artist of any sort. I'm not incredibly involved in spectator sports (although I do like watching from home on my tv). I enjoy traveling, but you can't really call that a hobby because I only do it every once in a while.

So what is my answer to the dreaded "what are you interested in" question? Nothing in particular.

My brain might be ready to learn something new, but I don't know what I want to learn about. I would be interested in getting my Masters, but in what? I feel like everything I've ever been slightly interested in has become less interesting. I used to love kids, I mean I was a camp counselor and a nanny, but I don't spend any time with kids any more except when I get to be stuck on the subway with an obnoxious crying/screaming kid at 8am on a Monday morning...for example. I don't want to interact with children until they are at least a year old, and even then - if they are not good communicators, keep them to yourself a bit longer parents. Thank you in advance. I used to love having a dog, but now I don't want the responsibility of a pet. I mean I'd be willing to walk it every now and again and play with it sometimes, but I want that to be on my time only - I don't want to have to rush home to walk it or feed it, or anything like that.

I kind of want to learn something, but I don't know what. I want to make new friends and actually maintain friendships, but I don't know how. I'm not social enough unless I drink, and I'm just about to quit that little habit because I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I am now officially a blackout drunk and I don't like not being able to remember. What I want to learn is how to have a real conversation and get to know someone without A. Turning Physical B.Having any interests of my own.

I actually started to feel bad for people who try to get to know me because there's really nothing to know.

I am boring...WTF!


Monica said...

I happen to find you extrememly interesting and not in the least bit boring ;)

Not who I will be said...

Well thanks Mo, at least someone does!

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