Thursday, May 26, 2011

How Kenneth Cole lost me $1,000

It seems that I talk about money a lot, but that's because "money makes the world go 'round...bitches."

That being said, as I mentioned yesterday I was going to tell you the story of the guy that owed me a grand (and technically HE still owes me $1000, but his mom paid $500 already - $500 more supposedly in the mail), so I will.

It all started on one fateful train ride home after work at some point last May/June. I was sitting on the train minding my own damn business from 57th and 7th, when, at the next stop (Times Square) someone got on the train, smelling absolutely delicious and sat right next to me. I was reading and tried to ignore him, whilst still trying to see him out of my peripheral vision (because I'm sneaky like that). My thoughts went something like this "Is he attractive? What the hell cologne is he wearing? Can I just lick him, because he smells so damn good it's absurd?" My response to myself "Play it cool, K. I know you've been talking about getting to know strangers on trains recently, but this might not be the best time." WELL WHY THE HELL NOT!? (awful idea in hindsight)

As we crossed the bridge, delayed as usual, I couldn't stop myself. I closed my book and placed it on my lap, took a big whiff of his cologne, breathed out and proceeded (with not enough caution).

"I'm sorry, I just have to ask...what is that you're wearing?"

"Oh, you like it? I wear so many different colognes I'm not even sure what I grabbed today." - It's Kenneth Cole Signature, by the way.

"Oh...well it smells great..."

One would think the conversation would be over, but it wasn't. What I talked about, what he talked about, I have no idea now, but we talked the whole way to my stop (which turned out to be his) as well, and wanting the conversation to continue I said "Hey I have my car at my house if you want to walk there with me, I'll drive you home so you don't have to wait for the bus."

I actually ended up driving him to his friend's house. We exchanged numbers and decided to become train buddies.

He was supposed to come over and cook Mac and Cheese for me, but he slammed his finger in the door and really fucked up his finger and I went over to his house, met his grandma and nursed his injury. We took the train a few times together and one of the time he said he was really stressed out because his mom just told him that she was two months behind on the mortgage and blah blah blah money issues. At this point, I think we're pretty decent friends. I mean, I've been to his house, he's been to mine, I've met his grandma, he's met my mom, friends, right? WRONG! But I didn't know this at the time, so stupid me offered to lend him one thousand dollars, for two weeks, until his next paycheck. I knew he had a decent job (I have his work number) so I wasn't really worried, oh and I planned on having him sign a "contract". (I still have said contract - worthless really because I knew I would never take legal action, but it's an option...) So I wrote him a check. He signed a contract. We consummated the contract, if that makes sense.

Two weeks passed and I didn't have my money, but he was still answering my phone calls. More time passed, nothing. Now he's ignoring my phone calls. I allowed this to happen for months...In December I had had enough. I went to his house (address conveniently stored in GPS) with my neighbor and another girl - both of who would throw down for me if need be. Only his grandma was home. It was awkward, but I asked if she could have his mom call me so I could explain the situation and guess what? GRANDMA ROCKS. She passed along my message. His mom called and apologized. About a month later she sent me half - after calling me to confirm she was sending it. I spoke to her last week about the second check, because he hasn't been responding to me again. Hopefully she'll send it soon.

I just want to put the whole thing behind me, but for future notice. Do not lend Jason O. Henry (pictured below) from Brooklyn, NY any form of money. He is not a friend and his mommy has to clean up his financial messes.


Monica said...

I love love that you posted his picture! that jerk!

B said...

Hilarious, you are so brave love that you posted his pic and name too. What an ahole!

Not who I will be said...

He deserves it. I hope someone googles him one day and comes across this. I feel bad for his mom and I feel stupid that I tried so hard for so long to stay his friend.

Kristen S. said...

OMG This is crazy and he is crazy. People are nuts now-a-days. They in it for themselves and don't care who they take out in the process! So sad. Glad you got back half.

Not who I will be said...

I'm glad I got back at least half too! Some people are just so selfish I can't even understand it.

That's what you get for talking to strangers though, lol. I know better now.

Although I did lend my friend $10 on Tuesday that he said he would have today...I should probably follow up on that. Hmm.

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