My emotional breakdown has passed.
I'm not miserable, my room is cleaner and I feel more like an adult. I gave myself a week to sulk and wallow, it's done now.
Football pretty much ruined my Sunday. Fuck the Giants, that's all I have to say. It's painful being a New Yorker and a Giants hater sometimes. It was pretty hard watching the 49ers fall apart yesterday, almost as hard as watching the Ravens blow the win. Bummer for the kicker.
I have come to a calm point with EPT. Que sera sera. I'm just letting what will be, be. It's way better that way.
That being said, I owe him a damn bottle of vodka because the Giants won yesterday. Bittersweet, because we will probably share the bottle, but I'm still pissed at the 49ers.
I went shopping a lot last week. All of my sparkly shirts, arrived. I'm wearing one today. Pretty excited. Going to return one of them, maybe two, otherwise, my wardrobe now shines! I also have 170 other shirts that I can wear at any given time. It's pretty sick actually. More than "pretty sick" it's an obsession. I went to Arden B and bought 5 new shirts/dresses on Monday.
I went to Children's place and bought baby clothes for the million baby girls that have been/will be born in the near future.
I went to this jewelry store and got myself 6 new bracelets. I'm currently wearing one of them, which I think is a step in the right direction. I paid my credit card bill and still have a little money, so maybe things aren't that bad.
I have a dinner and a movie date tonight. Things are looking up, although not WAY up.
My birthday is still on Tuesday, and I'm still getting a little sad about that. One of the Canadians is coming into town on Friday though so I'm pretty happy about that. I will be doing stuff this weekend.
I briefly toyed with the idea of going to Philly on Saturday because one of my "friends" from Philly that I met in Jamaica two years ago, invited B and I down there for a family dinner. We had fun last time, but in the midst of planning to go down there, I heard that she had been speaking to B about my behavior down there and how she was upset.
I must admit, I did something really fucking stupid the first time I was there, but as soon as my blackout drunk ass realized what was happening, I put the kibosh on the situation. I apologized to her last weekend (it was a part of my mental break down). However, I learned during the week that she was upset about what I did the second time I was there, but we seem to have differing memories as to what happened and while she responded to my apology, she didn't respond to my message wondering why she didn't just come to me with her issues with me, and asking her to call me so we could clear up what actually happened when I was out there. I'm really tired of people always going to B first. If you have a problem with me, man the fuck up and talk to ME about it. She is not my mom, my therapist, or my bodyguard, STOP INVOLVING HER.
Everyone fucking does that. It's really irritating and creates a lot of he said she said. I'd rather hear directly from the source what the issue is, I'm adult enough to handle it. I'm also adult enough to admit when I'm wrong and apologize if I am/was.
All in all, I'm not going to Philly this weekend. I'm sad that I won't get to go to Wines and Spirits, because I would really like some cheap liquor, but whatever. I should keep myself out of stupid situations that I know will come back to bite me in the ass A YEAR later, right?
Maybe I am still a bit bitter about all of this. I might send her another message today. I'll keep you updated.