Friday, July 29, 2011

Stumbling leads to bitter generosity

So do you guys remember when I talked about Mack here, here and here? I might've told you that although I was kind of interested in Mack, that I stepped aside when Chris expressed interest...well I did that again.

I might've just hand picked/delivered the man of my dreams, to VWR. FML?

We stumbled last night. I stumbled hard. Like, bad. Like, I haven't felt this shitty in the belly since three weeks ago. And I know you're probably thinking "Oh, if hangovers are typical occurrences, then this one shouldn't be so bad." Well, you would be HALF right. My head does not hurt, but I have felt like there was a miniature lawn gnome in my stomach, trying to punch its way out since I woke up (at 8am, by the way. Even though I was supposed to be at the gym by biggie.)

I actually was scheduled to have my annual work review today at 10am, and I had to call in sick (late) because I was behaving like a retarded child this morning and could NOT pull my act together.

Mind you, it's Thursday. I'm going to Honey tonight, and although right now, I can't even imagine what my body will do if I try to drink alcohol...I will find out.

Anyway, back to the recap of my life since I last posted.

On Tuesday, I decided that I wanted to be somewhat social and this Meetup called Random Events, was having a free stand up comedy show. I love stand up comedy, so naturally I decided this was a good time to meet new people and laugh my ass off.

The Mexican and I took the train down to the East Village and parted ways. I had about an hour and a half to kill so I got myself a nice Taro bubble tea and finished my book. (Matched by Ally Condie if you were wondering). I wasn't feeling so social any more though, and I was tempted just to go home and watch my overflowing DVR (which I will do tomorrow because I'm taking the day off to take care of my mama). However, it was about to rain and I was already there and had been in the West Village for almost 2 hours and so I decided to go in. Everyone was crazy nice, and I immediately got myself a hard cider (because it's awkward if you're not drinking at a bar when you first meet people). I was being a social butterfly, talk talk talking away about this that and the other thing. This girl tried to hijack my conversation with this Kazakhstan (I literally just said aloud "did I really just spell that right on the first try") guy. She had a very firm handshake and kind of scared me. I held my ground though, and told the story of my badassness (Polar Bear Plunge 2009). She was awed. Yeah, bitch, relax!

He was actually the MC
We saw 5 stand up comedians and they were awesome. There was this weird lady in the audience slightly behind me that I wanted to punch in the face once or thrice because she was talking loudly to her friend and one time she yelled out something like "You don't believe in Jesus" and everyone was really confused. The MC even said "Ok, so we're going to ignore that right there..." No one understood. Pretty sure she was a religious zealot, and they all deserve a swift punch in the nose. I kind of rushed out when it was over because it was late and I wanted to get home. I didn't even stay for the picture or to exchange info with any of the people I met. Oh well, there will be another time.

Side note: My headphone jack just got messed up in my computer and so I'm hearing this OBNOXIOUS noise while I'm trying to listen to music. It's making me cry inside.

Wednesday is where things for the week really start to get interesting.

When we got to the Stumble Inn, I decided that I was going to get buzzed at least, because I had so much fun the Friday night before. So I start drinking. I rapidly take down about two hard ciders. I decide not to eat the nachos the Mexican got. Probably not really the BEST choice, but it was made. So eventually the group grows to include VWR, and about 5 other people, including our friend Tiffany. We're hanging out at the bar and I'm drinking more than I should...then this guy walks in.

He's 6'7" (found out later) and has beautiful ebony skin. Tiffany tells me I will not go talk to him, and since he is standing alone and I'm buzzed, I do. I walk over to him, ask him if he's alone or waiting for someone (he is waiting for his friend). I invite him to join our group of people. We chat, and flirt. Lots of arm touching. He's an impressive Investment Banker with a slight British accent. His friend gets there who is just as gorgeous. I want to introduce the friend to VWR, so I call her over and introduce everyone. My neck is KILLING me from looking up at the Ebony Banker. He and VWR start talking about basketball and I start talking to his friend and find out he has a girlfriend (bummer!) but he wants to play beer pong (winner!) I tell him IMMEDIATELY, that we're all going to play. He's game. I go reserve "next" on both tables. These softball guys get mad at me when they figure this out, but whatever. VWR and Ebony Banker are still being chatty chatty. I'm in my own world and pretty buzzed. I'm making buddies with everyone, and I'm carrying my pitcher around.

Fast forward, we lose three games of beer pong. I drink most of the cups. I start drinking from cups that aren't really even mine to drink, but downing them like water. At around 1:30am, VWR and I decide to leave. I'm shithoused. I leave my gym bag at the bar so we have to come back as soon as we get to the train station. VWR asks my permission to talk to Ebony Banker (they exchanged numbers and wanted to know if that was ok with me). Obviously, I say ok because I'm too generous...ALWAYS.

I was bitter for at least two days about this, because everything about this guy was fucking awesome and I totally passed him off. Now I'm not as bitter because VWR and him REALLY hit it off and they are an INCREDIBLY cute couple and probably a better fit than he and I could be. She's so excited it's cute, and it sounds like he likes her too. So I'm going to let it go. I'm also going to stop giving people away!

I had A LOT of fun though. I'm awesome when I drink and every one agrees.

On my way home, I had to transfer to the Q at Union Square. It was running on the local track so for some stupid reason, at Dekalb Avenue, I got off the train because I momentarily convinced myself it was the N and not the Q. By the time my drunk ass realized my mistake, the train had closed its doors. I was stuck at Dekalb for another half hour. I cried because it was one of the dumbest things I have ever done and I just wanted to be home in my bed. It was AWFUL.

You'll have to tune in next time for my Thursday Honey story. I promise it's a good one with lots of being felt up, and very little moral code.

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