Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The economics of friendship

I don't understand most economics, but I think I understand the basic principles of supply and demand. The more of yourself that you make available to people (supply), the less demand there is for your time. The less supply you avail yourself to, the greater your demand.

Ok, I get this, but I don't agree with it. I mean is it that whole forbidden fruit hypothesis rearing its ugly head again? Do we only want what we can't have?

The reason I bring this up is because yet again, Mack and Chris decided to make me play priest and listen to their confessions about and to each other. I'm pretty sure that I told Mack on Tuesday that we couldn't be friends. I deleted him off of BBM. Was this not a big enough gesture?

I don't know what is going on between those two crazies, but I swear they deserve each other. The garbage that comes out of both of their mouths through their fingers is ludicrous, but it's somewhat entertaining. Now here's the obnoxious part...when I was still BBMing with Mack and trying to start normal every day conversations, he would pretty much ignore me. Now that the only way he can get in contact with me is through text message, he messages me every time he and Chris have these crazy conversations, and guaranteed, she will text me 5 minutes later (or less).

Typical K would allow him to try and be my friend again since he's "trying" so damn hard and keeps saying these ridiculous things like:  

"It's because we love you" (that we involve you in our craziness)

"I mean you are such a good person and I just don't want you to be upset with me" (even though we're not actually friends and I already messed that up and obviously telling you shitty stuff about my friend will not upset me - actually it doesn't...but shh)

"You're the one who decided we couldn't be friends, not me" (so I don't have to take any responsibility for our friendship not working)

However, he even admitted saying some things to me to be vindictive towards Chris and I really don't like vindictive people because they're unpredictable and you can never truly trust them because you don't know what they're going to one day turn around and use against you.

Basically, I'm in another awesome dilemma about second chances. We'll see how it goes.

In other news. I had a great dinner (at Aperitivo) with two middle school friends and I'm excited to do it again some time. However, I am not excited about having been in Park Slope. It still kind of holds a weird basin of memories for me. I mean, I think only fat K can be associated with Park Slope, and I don't like that. I left that person behind.



On to the next!

11 comments:

Taylor Christian said...

Omg. This reminds me of a friendship I had with this guy...well, he started dating this girl and we became friends...so when they broke up and he got a new girlfriend and I hung out with her it was all dandy. Well, he and girl break up and he and I start becoming friends again and I got caught in the middle..like she was still in love with him and we couldn't hang out.

I try to stay away from both.
Sorry for the rant. Love reading the blog gorgeous!!

Not who I will be said...

This is why friends shouldn't set other friends up! (It RARELY works) I mean, it's one thing if you're not really close to either, but if something ever happens you'll be pitted against the other and such. It's aggravating and stressful.

In this case however, I didn't set them up. In fact, the guy and I were kind of talking to each other (not necessarily dating or even talking about dating, but it was being friends with sexual tension). Knowing this though, both of them still pursued the other, so who am I to stop them. She already knew it was an awkward situation for me, yet here I am stuck in the middle with both of them seemingly regretting what they did - but it can't be done.

As I told him "You made your park bench and you fucked on it- that has nothing to do with me."

Thanks for commenting! I love your blog too!!

katie said...

I've been caught in bullshit like this and it's beyond irrtating. One couple (whom I was both friends with) argued about each other (to me) for MONTHS until I'd finally had enough and snapped: "JUST BREAK UP WITH HER THEN."

So he does.

Then (of course) it's my fault (according to ex-girlfriend) because I told him to break up with her.
I swear high school is never over. :)

B said...

oh my god must be so annoying! I glad I can comment now!

Anyways I was over at 20something bloggers when I ran into a funny conversation and thought of you, as you been blogging about boy issues just like me. I found the girl who started the conversation's video on youtube , please drink a glass or two of wine before attempting to watch, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKSxu5nwocs&feature=player_embedded,

ps: I'm sure she a very nice girl even if she does seem to be batshit crazy

PPS: That above statment is why I'm going to hell in a handbasket!

Not who I will be said...

It's 20% annoying, 40% ridiculous and 40% entertaining. For now, it's ok, but I still don't know WHY they want to involve me. Misery (and crazy) loves company!

I'm listening to the video and holy hell I hope it's a joke!...I can't handle it! Water out the nose, definitely.

PS. Completely agree

PPS. See you there!

Toni Rose said...

I've been there...

it's so hard being in a middle of two people...

It was between my boy bestfriend and his girlfriend who got pretty close to me... she was the sweet heart, but she did have her issues thats why she usually ended up turning to me. because there was nobody else to run to.

but her issues, ahh came complicated and lasted years.


up to now we are just merely acquaintances (the girl) .. but im still close to the guy, her now x.


sometimes i regret maybe i shouldnt have given up on her with regards to our friendship.


but then... i guess it was also meant to be...

i made a post on my blog quoting a line mrs michelle obama said.

"do not bring people in your life that bring you down. good relationships feel good. they dont hurt"

something like that.

and yes. so i guess it was getting pretty kind of "unhealthy" to be friends with her...

but sometimes i consider maybe we were both immature that time. but sometimes when i want to chat with her makes me think maybe it's our personalities that really are clashing.

oh well :))

good luck on your part

xx

toni

Not who I will be said...

Unfortunately, sometimes I do think you have to choose. It's a really crappy situation being put into situations like that.

I was talking to a friend of mine at dinner the other day and he was telling me about this girl who he is friends with and who introduced him to this group of people who he befriended. Well now, they're inviting him places and she's kind of "feuding" with them, so they're not as close to her anymore and she's trying to make him choose her or them. I feel so bad for him, but that's what people do...people put others in the middle and it's not fair.

Sigh. I'm sorry that you lost a friend over the whole situation, but honestly, if the friendship could be ruined by their relationship ending then I think maybe your friendship with her wasn't mean to last anyway.

Toni Rose said...

Yeah, it sucks when you have to choose but sometimes it comes to that position because you end up really evaluation who your real friends are..

like for my case, the guy was my bestfriend. and the girl even though she was a doll, she really did give me stress that I shouldn't really be having. my other friends did complain and ask me how I still am able to keep up with her...

And about your story, lol that happened to me .. when i introduced my childhood friends with my highschool friends, and when my childhood friend whom i used to think were the best people in the world betrayed me once. so I wasnt in good terms with them anymore

then i discovered they were inviting my highschool friends and some even met up with them i really threw a fist.

its really because hey... hey highschool friends... you've known me longer than they did and it's just like i feel that they have betrayed me too by still maintaining friendship with them

im selfish with friends. thats why.

but in the end my highschool friends really chose me. well ofcourse, they will.... and they supported me when i said we didnt want to have anything to do with those childhood friends anymore..

ps. my childhood friends were all boys

and my highschool friends were all girls


so you know maybe you could come up an idea in your mind what kind of situation that was :))

and ofcourse, my girlfriends would choose me. and it was not that much pressure not that because they were romantically involved with the boys.

but yes there was pressure of choosing.

but after a couple of years, your real friends stay with you. and so in the end they really chose me :))


complicated. lol

Toni Rose said...

and yeah. i think that girl whom i lost friendship with really wasnt meant to last.

even though she was still my friend when they broke up she really still had hang ups and so many issues that she even brought when she entered college (we were in the same campus and she was a batch lower than me)

so im like, i've stuck with you during highschool. and I dont have any plans to bring your issues here in college. thats were i got fed up and i stopped talking to her for a while wherein she took it hard and sent me emails and stuff, and that's were i flicked and the conflict just became bigger.

then silent treatment lol


but we are friends in Facebook. she added me, but we never commented or posted in each others walls... i did message her recently to write a retreat letter for her x (the guy) ..

i guess we're now acquaintances :))

and i once comforted her by a tap on a back when she had a fight with her BF in a club and I happen to be there.... she noticed that coz she told our common friend what i did.


I guess if we then cross paths again, and we find an opportunity to meet I still feel that we'll be good friends once that happen.

but until that day hasnt arrive yet... we're merely just acquainted.

a feeling like you've broken up with an Ex and the both of you are now just strangers to each other :))

which reminds me. my real friends always teased me that the girl acts like im her boyfriend.. she's so clingy and every complaint a girlfriend has with her bf. LOL


I guess what happened was... "we broke up" ...

Toni Rose said...

*evaluating .. not evaluation LOL please dont mind the typos and wrong grammars.. i just kept on typing without re-reading.. which im doing now, but cant edit it anymore :))

Toni Rose said...

okay im sorry for flooding your comments. lol but i read the other comments of your readers and this cracked me:

by Katie: Then (of course) it's my fault (according to ex-girlfriend) because I told him to break up with her.

I swear high school is never over. :)


--- lol I KNOW! highschool never ends (reminds me of the song by bowling for soup) I loved that song


well anyway, regarding your comment on friends shouldn't hook up each other.

i have to say that one of my childhood friends im telling you about... we sort of had a really short love affair. that was in 2005.

then the whole feud starting when we broke up and ruined everything bout friendship and the rest of my childhood friend which were boys ofcourse were hanging out and since im the only girl in the group i was the one left out.

ANYWAY. he went to the states for like 2006 and went home 2008. we were all friendzies again.

thats where my Ex introduced his bestfriend and Cousin to me.. (my current boyfriend) ...

so we got together 2008 and we're still together now.

I have to say, that that X im telling you about (my bf's cousin that is) ... we always had feuds come and go. and I really flicked and we ended up blocking each other in Facebook.

I told my boyfriend. I dont want him to ever talk to him or hang out or so whatever. with his so called "bestfriend/cousin"...

the cool thing is, neither did my boyfriend wanted to hang out with his cousin too :)

how sweet right? he chose me! even though HE IS not just bestfriend since birth but also COUSIN blood-related.


my boyfriend doesn't like it because his cousin always made me cry.

and without doubt, without question. he chose me over him ... (even though my boyfriend had tried a couple of times to make peace with his cousin) .. the friendship wasn't really meant to be coz we were always clashing.


it really sad though because he was my childhood friend.

well maybe when he starts growing up :))


eventually i came to the conclusion that my ex still likes me LOL .. coz he always pissed me off! and maybe he regrets introducing his cousin LOLLLLL.. but it makes sense and might be true right.

xx,
Toni

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