Thursday, June 16, 2011

Shopping, Subways, Stupidity and Seafood (with some ducks)

I've decided that I'm going to start off every as many as I can remember, blog entries with random facts about me that will help you get to know me a little better (whether you want to or not).

1. I can speak French semi-fluently, only when I'm hammered. You can ask Mo
2. I will only drink Snapple out of glass bottles, otherwise it tastes funny!
3. I did my first guest blog post that you can see here right before I went to Bermuda.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming. Speaking of which, I got the cutest set of texts from my dad today.

Yup, he's the best
The reason he asked why I was alive and well however, is that I didn't go home last night. Which is perfectly fine and pretty common, but still I had mentioned how he only cares about where I am if I have the car, but I guess I was wrong!

Yesterday after my chiro appointment I got a message from B saying that there was a basketball game at Dyckman (pronounced, dyke man - like a butch lesbian, get it?!) in Spanish Harlem all the way uptown. Anyway, in order for me to go, I decided that it would only be logical to stay in the Bronx afterward. In order to stay in the Bronx I needed clothing to wear, and I surely wasn't going to go home to get some. I had been thinking about going to Express for a few days since they've been bombarding me non-stop with their emails about their big end of season sale, and yadda yadda run on sentence.

So I went. I spent a whole goddamn hour in that store and wanted to gouge out my eyes. But wait, I ended up with a few shirts and pants, but I needed panties. This led me down the block to Victoria's Secret. Guess who's having their semi-annual sale? Yup, 40 minutes and another absurd line later I had 10 more pairs of panties than I needed. You didn't think it would end there, right? I plan on staying at B's a lot this summer, so I dropped by Duane Reade and picked up some essential toiletries to leave at her mom's house. It doesn't end there folks...My feet were hurting at this point, so I decided that I should pick up some flip flops at Old Navy. Guess who's having another end of season sale? Yup, 40 minutes after that and another ABSURD line I made my way to the train.

I got on the train with my gigantic bags to make the 18 stop trip up to Dyckman. Two things happened on the train that really could've messed up my night. First, B called me and said the park was packed and they weren't letting anyone else in the game...

Let that sink in.

I was going to a basketball game where I couldn't get on the court, 10 local stops from where I currently was with approximately $300 worth of merchandise in tow and wearing shoes that were killing my feet. I got off the train and tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do. I decided that I could loiter for 20 minutes outside of the park and I was still on my way. I had already blown off 3 other people. One BC, one guy who wants to be a BC but flipped out because this is day two of blowing him off and the Mexican, because it was Wednesday and I was considering going to the Stumble Inn with him.

Here's number 2 hitch of the day. Guess what stop the Uptown 1 train wasn't making. Yup, you guessed it, Dyckman. I had to take the train to 207th, walk down the staircase with all of my junk and then walk back up on the other side to catch the downtown 1 that would take me to my destination. Then I didn't know which way to go and it's a good thing that I get along with Bodega people because they pointed me in the right direction.

I eventually made it to the park and my phone started doing something janky, it started switching message windows. Now this is either because I'm a fucking idiot (highly plausible) or that the world has an evil twisted plot to make my life more difficult (more plausible, in my opinion). So I was messaging Mo, all of the messages that were meant for B about where I was and how to locate me.

Good going KG, good going.

As I was loitering though I ran into none other than OhD. I'm sure I will mention him again at some point, but now is not the time. Just know that he's a "friend" (and no it's not in quotes because it's sexual, but his friendships are limited). Anyway, he was looking around because he lost his friend's pinky ring when he was pissing between two cars. I tried to help him look for it, but it didn't really work. I was still kind of surprised to see him up there, because I usually see him in Brooklyn and Brooklyn only.

The good thing about finding him was that he managed to get me in the park. The bad part about this is that B left the park to look for me because she couldn't find me inside. Then she got frustrated and made a joke (a crack at OhD) and he flipped out, and there was yelling and I tried to keep the peace, but it didn't work. Oh well.

The game ended about 5 minutes later and B came back inside and we were all talking to people on the court and killing time. We eventually got ourselves together and went to go drop Niece off at Sister's house and to pick up Mike before going to City Island!

City Island was glorious. Basically it's where you go for Seafood, if you're unfamiliar. I had this cold seafood sampler which included shrimp, clams oysters and a whole lobster. That came with a salad, linguini, corn and rice. It was pretty phenomenal. Some of us got drinks which made things a little funnier, but overall the whole family is hilarious and it's always a good time.

Sister's crab legs

That was my Wednesday. I made it to work in record time. It takes literally 15 minutes to get from B's corner to 68th Street on the train, that includes the walk to the train. We've been talking about switching living locations. I live 20 minutes from her job, she lives 20 from mine. We're planning on keeping full wardrobes at each others' houses.

Oh and as a treat, the Mexican and I took a lunch walk yesterday to Rockefeller Institute and they have these fountains and there were DUCKLINGS in the fountain. Super cute.
Mama watching the duckies

Quack quack!

Lastly, I have the sense of humor of an 8 year old and I bought donut holes for this conference at work today. I think they're naughty and the Mexican and I laughed about them for a good 10 minutes. They also said other raunchier things on the box.

Delicious Glazed Hole anyone?

And since it's been pretty springy lately I figured I would post some flower pictures.
These were from my Fellows on Administrative Professionals Day. Note the unbloomed amaryllis in the middle.
It bloomed! And is looking longingly at the sunshine outside of my window.
And for all of you stalkers, this is what the side of my house looked like a few weeks ago.


Mrs. Pickle said...

I have not had donut holes in so long! Ugh! now I want one

Toni Rose said...

hahahah karen! now at least you know your dad cares! :)

your dad is funny

next time ill use that when i talk to my friends hahaha :)

B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
B said...

I love seafood! I always have something to laugh about after reading your blog, that donut glazed hole box is too funny!

Monica said...

Ahhhh the semi-fluent French speaking Karen is awesome! Great memories!!

katie said...

I um, love pop-ems.

Your whole paragraph on the clothing is hilarious because this was me at various stores here in Honolulu. I had to buy a suitcase to carry the clothes I bought and THEN, I wasn't allowed on the bus because of the suitcase until I said: "But I'm adorable!" Hah. I always say: "I'm just gonna get jeans," and end up buying 89 things.

Not who I will be said...

@katie, I always buy everything that I don't need. I wish that I could pull the I'm adorable card though! I actually went to Express to buy pants and ended up getting two pairs as an afterthought when I was leaving the store.

@B, if you ever come to NYC, we're going to city island!

@Mo, I try at least - I'm pretty sure that night was a success.

@Toni, He really is the cutest. He's got some great one liners

@Pickle, I had enough for both of us (i.e. a million) - well maybe not, but I definitely ate a good portion of the box even though they were bought for a meeting. Oh well, can't keep a fat girl down :)...maybe

Mary said...

You're kind of like me when drunk, I start to talk to people in sign language Hahahha love it!!

And I hate it when I pass by VS during their semi annual sale. Or at least my bank account hates me...

Not who I will be said...

OMG There's this one club I used to go to all the time in the city and I swear EVERY time I go, a deaf guy finds me and we talk in sign language. I once got a ride home from one of them. He's still in my phone as "Gary Deaf". I'm pretty hilarious when I drink.

There are a million VS' everywhere I go, I can't avoid them. I plan on going back on Monday. My pocket is getting very angry.

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