Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Not so laborious labor day weekend

So here are the highlights of my weekend.

Feather and Heels didn't end up getting to my house until midnight on Friday. We began drinking shortly thereafter and made our way to this place called Crossroads in Park Slope (Super south slope). We didn't end up going in, however. This was because it was a $10 cover and looked pretty damn lame to be honest.

We did, get into two racial arguments though. The first happened when a guy mentioned something about me being white. Heels was not having this, and honestly, neither was I. I had been drinking and I was feeling quite argumentative. Heels had to hold me back before she went in on the dude. Then this girl fell. She fell face first off the curb into the street. Heels couldn't contain her laughter, and it broke the tension. I know that's mean, and I should be more sympathetic considering my falling history, but I was not the one laughing, and I was thankful that something stopped the arguing. The guy tried to apologize, and his friend tried to get Feather's number...because he liked Heels? Does that make sense? No. Stupid grown men with braids.

Anyway, we started walking up towards 5th Avenue to try and find a bar. There were two black men on motorcycles. We noted these. One day I will ride one, probably when I'm drunk and don't know any better (I know this is a recipe for disaster, but things with two wheels make me nervous). Anyway, before they took off, they switched bikes. Therefore, it only made sense for me the say

"Oh, so you guys are switch hitters. Cool."

They were not amused. One of the guys started yelling at me and cursing me out, telling me to watch my mouth and once again, mentioned something about my skintone. Heels tried to tell him that I was joking, which I agreed with, and we ended up walking away leaving them angry on their bikes. (I hope they didn't get into an accident - I know how anger makes people drive stupid.)

We went and got pizza and were talking about the whole situation and two guys outside of the pizza place basically "picked us up". We went to a lesbian bar. They bought us jager bombs. I fucking hate jager, but I took it anyway.

Then they bought us irish car bombs. These are NEVER a good idea. I not only took mine, but I took half of Feather's and half and Heels'. I then took myself to the restroom and tried to force myself to get rid of them. It didn't work so well. I shrugged it off, and went back to the bar.

One of the guys lived down the block. We went there. I laid down on...a bed frame because there was no mattress. They smoked. We went home.

These men were hoping for an orgy of sorts. Not going to happen.

The next day we lazed around all day. No one could make a decision. We started drinking at midnight. By 2am we had decided just to walk toward Flatbush for J'Ouvert. We headed towards this party VJ had told me about. Unfortunately, we decided to walk the whole way (about two miles), and the party was shut down just as we got there. VJ and his friend, who still kind of creeps me out, found us and I thought we were going to another party. Instead, we ended up at VJ's where they smoked. Heels got sick. Stupid Fanta leaf.

The creepy friend drove us home. He also tried to get into my pants.

Heels was sick the whole next day so we didn't join any of the labor day festivities. It wasn't a bad weekend. In fact, I enjoyed myself, but I think next year or whenever they come to brooklyn again, we'll definitely need a plan.

JBike came over that night and cuddled though. He brought me a shirt from J'Ouvert. It was sweet. He left in the morning and blew another damn tire on his bike. I felt awful because he was so far from home, but he got it fixed. I'm telling you, vehicles with two wheels are dangerous!

My teeth currently hurt from the dentist yesterday. Delta was trying really hard to come over yesterday. He said something along the lines of "I just want to be the Bob Marley to your Reggae." I don't know what that means, and he spelt a lot of shit wrong, but I'm now done with him again. He yet again said he was on his way over and didn't come. I told him I didn't really care if he came over or not, and that I really didn't have anything to say to him. He offered me a night full of oral sex. Sorry, Snookie is currently closed for business. I told him I wouldn't make him go home if we got into another fight, but he would have to sleep in the guest room. He said he was scared of my third floor.

I'm over it. I told him to lose my number. I really hope he does.

I ignored Dominicaitian again. I'm going to hell.

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