Thursday, September 22, 2011

In honor of another Thursday

let me tell you  little story about last Thursday.

I didn't get home until almost 3am on Friday morning. This wasn't because I left Honey incredibly late, it's because...I went to Sheepshead Bay.

You might not think this is odd, but here's the kicker...I did not INTEND to go to Sheepshead Bay.

Let me explain.

It was a Honey Thursday. I got my nails done with the Mexican and downed a cosmo while being pampered. I made my way down to Honey, slowly. Feathers said she would be there before 7. It was 7:30 when I arrived. She was not there. I went in, did my usual rounds and got us a table in the front because it was flipping cold outside. I got my carafe and commenced drinking.

Feathers arrived, FINALLY. Heels arrived shortly thereafter. Drink drink drink. Two of my other girlfriends came later in the night and I was so happy to see them and we danced and laughed and drank and had a good time.

The bill was around $200. Welcome back expensive Thursdays.

Feathers, Heels and I walked toward Union Square. This guy wanted to take Feathers home. She was going to give us both cab money (well he was). Then he was being ridiculous so we decided to get on the train. We got to the station just as my train was pulling in. I drunkenly gave them goodbye pecks on the cheek and then sat down on the train.

I woke up, knowing I had missed my stop. I thought I had missed my stop by one, like last time.

I got off of the train in a rush, and left the station. I started walking in the direction my house should've been. I had to pee desperately, so I popped a squat against a car, thanking my lucky stars for tissues and babywipes. Whilst leaning again the car that was keeping me from falling in my own urine, I looked up at the street sign.

Avenue W.

Well folks, I live down by what would be Avenue A.

I decided the street sign couldn't possibly be right, so I continued walking. I got out my handy dandy googlemaps app on my phone and searched for my location.

Lo and behold, the damn street sign was right. I was in Sheepshead Bay. I took a moment to contemplate. Do I call a cab and pay a heinous amount after standing in the middle of creepy suburbia at 2:30am? Or do I try to locate a train station.

I started walking the direction I came from. Luckily, I only THINK I'm moving quickly when I drink. I was at the train in no time.

Neck Road. That's where I was. Neck Road is 9 stops past mine. NINE. Dear god what have I done?!

The train came within two minutes. It was miraculous.

I was on the train with 6 crazy people and a teenager with his hands down his pants. One woman was mumbling and screaming every few seconds, another man was chuckling to himself. I was being watched. I messaged VJ to tell him I was on my way home.

He met me outside the train station. We went home. I tried to dodge the tree in my front yard and get around my car. Thanks to the sprinklers, I slipped. My "good" knee hurts.

I ended up with a ginormous bruise on my left butt cheek that I wouldn't discover for another two days and just thought I had pulled something at the gym on Wednesday. I don't know where it's from.

Thursdays are dangerous. Tonight will be especially dangerous. Here's hoping I don't die, or leave Mo. Or vomit. Or leave Mo. Or fall down...or most importantly, leave Mo.

I already took Friday off to nurse my inevitable hangover.


B said...

Oh my god you are too funny, I hope no one saw you peeing. I have no sense of direction and am lazy so I probably would have called a cab. And 200 bucks worth of drinks all just for you? My plans for NYC isn’t set in stone yet, all the places are so freaking expensive and a lot of the hostels and apartments are already booked so I’m not sure if we going for a day or the weekend. Either way I would love to grab dinner or get drinks, or even go out together if you aren’t busy because we don’t know the good clubs so send me an email with your phone # or facebook so we can get in touch I can’t wait to meet you I’m so excited!

Lorraine said...

Nine stops?? NINE STOPS?!

You did good though. I propably would've sat down and cried.


whit said...

OMG! i would have just given up. im impressed you could find your way! my sense of direction even when sober is complete crap.

KG said...

@B, thank you! I don't think anyone was outside it was 2:30am on a Friday in a dark suburban area. It was actually what I would imagine a horror movie starting like...or at least the kind of place. Cabs require too much waiting and I was not in the mood for that at all. When I drink, I just wanna keep moving. The $200 was for everyone to drink. I think that I'm going to start asking for money from people's getting pricey, but I'm the one pressuring everyone to drink.

I would love to get dinner/drink/etc...I'll email you soon!

@Lor, I surprise myself when I don't cry in those types of situations, although I probably got teary just because I was sleepy. I guess I hardly FEEL lost in this city. If the GPS on my phone wasn't working, I would've been bawling though.

@Whit, I get determined when I drink. Also, NYC is luckily on some semblance of a "grid" so I generally have an idea of where I am. I probably should fear for my safety a bit more though. Oh well!

Taylor Christian said...

You seriously make me feel like a homebody girl!

KG said...

I wish I were more of a homebody. My body is not handling this situation well.

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