Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Day 8: Fears

This is where this thing starts to get more difficult. I don't fear much, and I think being afraid of things doesn't get you very far. Honestly, I might make up some bullshit just to complete the 8. Eight is a lot. I think my only real fears are big ones and probably should take up numbers like 1-5 know? We'll see how far I get.

I'm afraid of...

1. Not figuring out what I want to do with my life
I'm just lost. I don't like not having a plan. It's really bothering me. I don't know if I want to be a glorified secretary for the rest of my life. I'm better than this job, but I'm afraid of just stagnating and getting content in my current situation.

2. Either of my parents dying
 I'm pretty sure this is self explanatory. I don't know what I would do without either of them.

3. Never finding someone to spend my life with
 Again, self explanatory. I think I might be ready for a relationship, but I don't know if there's anyone in my life right now that I can see myself settling down with or starting a family with. I'm afraid I won't find that somebody and I won't get to follow the path I've always wanted for myself.

4. Getting into another car accident
My heart races every time I go around a turn too fast in a car. I just feel like I'm losing control and I'd rather not total my car again.

5. Being indecisive forever
I just don't want to miss out on things, or continue to miss out on things because I find it hard to make decisions alone. I want to be able to get up and go and travel by myself and make new friends and just enjoy myself without depending on others.

6. Hosting
Hosting anything makes me anxious. I'm afraid of throwing bad parties and people not having a good time. I've been told over and over again that you provide the food, the drinks, and some kind of entertainment...and people can make their own fun. I am freaked out by people just having a bad time.

7. Blacking out and ending up getting in trouble
We all know by now I have this classy blacking out problem. I just don't want to end up blacking out and winding up in a dangerous/ridiculous situation that I can't get out of. Freaks me out a little and makes me a touch worried.

8. Not having kids (when I want them), or having ugly ones
Karma might get me for the second half of this one. I just think that ugly kids have a way harder time in life. I mean they have better personalities in general, but sometimes having things be easier might be a little better. Plus, I'm awesome and my kids will have bomb personalities regardless. I just hope they don't have to go through the really fat phase that I went through. Also, I'd be pretty devastated if I couldn't have kids of my own eventually.  I just don't want to get pregnant when I'm not ready, and then end up not being able to have kids when I am.

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