Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Day 7: I waaaant you to waaaaant me

This one's a tough one because there are so many things I want, yet it's hard to think in specifics...I'll try though.

I want...

1. Some clarity
I would really like to know what the hell I am doing and what I'm planning to do with my life. Am I going to get perpetually stuck in this job? What am I looking forward to doing with my life? What do I want to go back to school for? Do I want to go back to school even? Will I ever meet the person I'm supposed to be with? Do I even know how to really be with someone? So many questions, I just want answers!

2. To book my vacations
Seriously, if I don't book the vacations I've been talking about for weeks now, I might explode. It's killing me. I just need people to commit, or I'm going on vacation alone!

3. My surgery not to cost me an arm and a damn leg
I really hope that when I get the quote for my upcoming surgery today that it's not ludicrous. Oh, and I hope insurance can help me out a bit...pretty, pretty please?

4. Some sort of resolution with B
I don't know what this entails, but I just want to know where our friendship will end up. I mean, I'm not distraught over this whole friend break thing, and that kind of worries me. There are just some things that I want to know, and some things I have a hard time picturing without her. It's weird and confusing.

5. A stable love life
I'm not really sure what this exactly means, but I feel like my love life is in constant flux. Maybe I'm ready for a relationship, or maybe I just want a little consistency. Or maybe I want to really really be interested in someone and have them be interested in me (for something other than sex). On the same token, I'm pretty content with my current sexual fulfillment. I just don't know!

6. Motivation to work out on a regular basis
I seriously need to make some changes in my eating habits and how I work out. I need to learn to push myself and actually obtain results from working out as opposed to just doing some random cardio that really isn't that strenuous and won't end up doing anything for me in the future!

7. To be in bed
I'm sleepy and I just want to lay down and lounge around doing nothing but just watching TV cuddled up with one of my four current boys. Actually, I don't want to cuddle with Steel Pans, because he gets really fucking jumpy and is super ticklish and always thinks I'm trying to tickle him when I go to rub his back. Then I get irritated, turn over, and go back to bed. Stupid.

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