Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Living like a local in foreign country

Well I've been trying to catch up on blogs today after a brief hiatus, but I figure it's about time to fill you in on my most recent adventure.

I'm sure I mentioned multiple times that about 3 weeks ago I decided to go to Jamaica with my friend Sugar (who I met - but knew of before - in October). I was a bit more comfortable this time, because I was not going to a new city, and I knew where I was going and who I would see, etc.



I left on Wednesday night. This was after having packed all night Saturday and not having looked in my suitcase up until that point. That's a lie, actually. I kept adding little knick knacks here and there. Like a lock for one of the pockets in the bag so my phone wouldn't get stolen like last time. I spent about $200 at Duane Reade on Sunday (and I totally didn't know that Duane Reade wasn't a national chain). I also was making a fuss about getting the airport. JBike was going to take me, but then he would've had to take my car and blah blah blah, all of this random stuff that made it difficult. So after whining for two hours about this, my dad said "Stop this. Here's $80 for your cabs. Now stfu."

Thanks pop!

So that was settled. I made it to the airport in 20 minutes, in the rain, and almost got into a huge accident on the Belt.

I made it through check out and security in 10 minutes. I was therefore 2.5 hours early, when I had only intended on being there 1.5 hours early. Honestly though, thank goodness for online check in, because there was a line for regular check in with at least 50 people on it. I got to skip that because of the internet. Love.

Almost passed out in the airport waiting.

Ended up with a window seat (which I wanted) even though I opted for an aisle seat closer to the front of the plane. Funny how things work out!

I think we got delayed. I wouldn't be surprised. Oh yes, I remember now. There was an entire force of wheelchairs. I'm talking at least 15 people, and they didn't pre-board them. They didn't pre-board small children either. It was the worst fucking idea EVER. We were all stuck on the gangway as the wheelchairs pretty much played bumper cars with the strollers that had to be checked at the plane entrance. A middle aged Jamaican man was hitting on me while this was going on because I was very festive wearing a green hoodie and red and yellow scarves. It was only partially embarrassing, because no one really wants that kind of attention in the airport at 2am, and I had already gotten it from the bag drop off guy. I basically turned up my nose and felt righteous when I said it wasn't the first time I had gone to Jamaica.

I'm lying again. I was really cordial and flattered. He looked for me on the plane and tried to clear a path for me. I b-lined for my seat and tried to sleep.

Sleeping didn't go that great. I mean, I think I must've slept most of the time, but it wasn't like last time. I was awake for quite a bit actually. I was sitting behind a kid who must've been autistic or something. His shrieking really pissed me off at some point, and his insistence on playing his videogame at a loud volume didn't help. I tried to relax though, and did.

I got robbed again by JUTA. Doubly so, actually. I changed $40 USD into JMD at the airport cambio, which was a bad idea, because I ended up getting just over $3,000 JMD. The cab ended up being $3,000. I should've just stuck with the damn USD. Stupid stupid.

Anyway, I got to the bus station and hung out chatting on the free wifi until the bus came. I slept through a good portion of the bus I believe. I don't really remember. I got to Ocho Rios just before noon, as expected. No one came to meet me at the bus, which I could've figured. I dragged my bag down to the condo and try to get in contact with Sugar so security would let me through. I finally got the security lady to call her and they let me in where Max met me in front of the building and I scolded him for not meeting me at the station.

Shortly thereafter, we donned out bathing suits and made our way to the beach. The drinking began around 1. I drank about 4 beers in 20 minutes. Hello Red Stripe.


Then I went to go get Sugar a mixed drink with my Iced Tea Vodka and Peach Snapple Iced Tea. Here's what I didn't know. Sugar doesn't like Peach. I drank both of the drinks in about 15 minutes.

So now we're almost 45 minutes into the drinking and we decide to go back to the condo because I want to play beer pong. However, I do not have beer left, so the only logical thing to do is use vodka, right? Wrong. Very, very wrong. We had met this guy Pitbull on the beach, who was a friend of a friend or whatever. I don't really remember, but he was the one playing with me.

I broke out my solo cups and ping pong balls (yes, I brought them from home for this exact purpose). We stacked the tables on each other and let the games begin.


Pitbull was a fucking natural. He got three in a row. I took the shots (which apparently were quite large) and then I blacked out.

I woke up at around 1am.

Turns out I had been more drunk than I had ever been before in my life. I threw up everywhere - on all of the towels and my shirt. Pitbull had tried to wake me up with a cold shower. Well actually, he bathed me. Yeah, he washed my hair and soaped me up in my bathing suit.

I was not responsive. Almost choked on my own vom too, so I heard. Thanks guys for turning me on my side when I started to dry heave on my back.

When I woke up, two things happened. I told Sugar I was going to get ready to go out (which she told me she would not do - I should've insisted harder), and it hurt for me to smile.

APPARENTLY, I was sitting on one of the couches during vodka pong and I tried to get up. Instead of getting up, I went down...and hit my face on the floor.

That's a little sample of what my face looked like the next day. Yeah, it looked/looks like I was the victim of domestic abuse. I told people this too though, as I laughed about it the next day.

Basically, Thursday was a dead day because I was unconscious by 6pm.

Friday, however, I vowed that day drinking would not occur again. Pitbull works on a yacht. We hung out there for the day.


It was beautiful. I love these net things they have on the boats, except that Sugar knocked my water bottle through the net into the water below. Sug hasn't uploaded her picture where I was jumping off the boat yet though, so I don't really have many pictures of me on the boat.

We just listened to music, talked, lounged, ate beef patties and coco bread and relaxed. Jade came to hang out with us at some point and that was pleasant.



I don't know if I talked about Jade from the last trip, but I adore the guy. We have a no drama understanding. It was a very interesting evening though, because both Pitbull and Jade were after me that day when we went back to the condo.

Jade kept talking about October. Both of them kept trying to pull me close and kiss me when the other wasn't looking. Pitbull gave me a cleavage hickey. It was really confusing, but whatever. They started drinking heavy and tried to get me to join, which I didn't really do so much. It was an awkward "lust" triangle. I can't even explain it, because they both knew I was flirting with the other one too. I was doing it in front of them. They didn't care that I had just kissed the other. Jade knew I was going home with him, I think that's why.

Anyway.

We went to this bar that night to get food and of course I forget my camera battery. Sugar was drunk, Pitbull was drunk, Jade had left to go shower and change and whatever. He came back with his roommate and his whole crew basically and we posted up outside of the bar against the car drinking and such.

They decided to do "crocodiles" that night. I didn't want one, but somehow I was convinced to do half a pill that night, and it did nothing for me. Sugar, however, was teeth all a-chatter. I had to force her to chew gum on both sides of her mouth and escort her to the restroom. On the way, I ran into the kid who I had originally thought stole my phone. I went to go talk to him after putting Sugar back where she needed to be.

Kid might pay for me to go back for New Years. Max apologized to him for beating him up. Everyone asked about my face, it was just an interesting time. We meted out whatever issues we had.

When I got back to the car I cut Pitbull off and shoved a water bottle into his hand. He was a mess.

We were there until closing, not having made it to any of the clubs, and hardly having danced. We hung out at Jade's until around 5am. I was EXHAUSTED, but I got to cuddle with these little gems:



Willow and Plus One (or so I deemed her, because she has no name yet). After just kind of hanging out with everyone, Jade and I "went to bed".

I spent all of Saturday at the house, hanging out with the puppies.

Plus One
I went back to the apartment in the afternoon and got ready to go out. We were supposed to go to Margaritaville, but I don't know why we went so late. We ended up having to pay, and we had waited for Max to get there. It was around 2 when we went. Max wasn't feeling well and the drinks were so expensive, so when I went to go get another drink back at the room, Max and Sugar left too. 15 minutes later, when we went back to MVille, it was pretty much dead.

Pitbull and I took it to the pool.

Sunday we hung around. We were supposed to go on the Yacht, or this guy Kevin's boat, but both options fell through, which pissed me off. So Pitbull and I went to the beach.


We were there around sunset. After the ocean, we took it to the shower. Then we went to Jade's for dinner.

 Hung out at Jade's while the boys played poker until 5am, and then Jade and I took it to bed.

Woke up around 9, said by the Jade and his roommate took me and Pitbull back down to the condo. One of Jade's friends' mom is a politician

Shahine Robinson

And it was nomination day on Monday. So her son - Jade's friend - had brought tshirts for the rally. I took one and was wearing it all day. I got a lot of questions, looks and comments about that shirt throughout the day. It was actually kind of funny. SHOWA!

Jade was supposed to come back down to say hi before I left, but his roommate got stuck in traffic and he didn't come. Pitbull took me to the bus, we ate lunch, and off I went. The cab was cheaper on the way back to the airport. I was there later than I anticipated, but there were no lines and so I ended up being super early. Stopped at duty free, got some free wine samples, coffee and food. Hung out by myself and used the wifi until my flight. The flight was nearly empty and I had an empty seat next to me.

Ackee Wine, Sorrel Blush and Rum Wine

It was a really good flight and I made it home by like 12:30.

It was a very uneventful trip and I'm a little annoyed we didn't do more, but I'm not upset and there wasn't much drama, which is always nice.

Oh, Baby Hustla's baby mama texted me over the weekend. He lied about having a kid. That's going nowhere.

I saw Playboy last night. Good times, good times. He left his watch at my house. I'm trying to decide if it was on purpose. I doubt he's going to have feelings at any point, but it was a little odd, that's for sure.

I'm still undecided on how I feel about Jamaica. I love it, but I don't know if I quite love it the way other people do...although I might just be trying to convince myself that's the case.

California next week!

3 comments:

Miss Sassy Pants said...

I hate those drunk face plants. They are the worst.

Monica said...

Only you love coming home with pictures of puppies when your in JA!

B said...

oh my god your face looks awful(I'm sure you know this) seems like you had a good time though!

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