Monday, December 5, 2011

Another admittance of failure

I'm really awful at this blogging thing, so here's what's been going on with me lately that I may or may not embellish upon later.

Work was hell last week. Actually for two weeks it wasn't the most spectacular place. My boss was gone and I had 9 grants due in two days, 7 of which were absurd and required hardcopies and CDs and FedExing. I actually thanked the FedExing gods on Wednesday night because as I caught the last FedEx pickup JUST as he was leaving the building (that I had literally thrown shit across the room to my desk, ran down 6 flights of stairs, jaywalked dangerously, hailed a cab and gotten to the pick up place all in 12 minutes to catch). I've noticed the FedEx gods are fickle though, as they did not pickup my package from the dropoff the night before causing my coworker to hand deliver a grant that was due on Wednesday to the MetLife building as my head spun and almost imploded from the 7 other grants I had to deal with.

This whole grant situation is quite stress inducing because NO ONE knows how to prepare for a deadline, and they have no regard for my workload or that of our grants office. In turn, the grants office HATES my guts because I stop paying attention to little details and end up sending them versions with STUPID mistakes, which makes me look like a complete fool.

Also, the grants office is 8 blocks away, which really blows when things need to have "per ink" signatures because it requires so much back and forth, and if my coworker didn't go pick up all of the signature pages I needed on Wednesday, I would've cried myself into oblivion and no one's grants would have arrived at their destination.

So I was at work until 8:30 on Wednesday. That's after dropping off the signature pages at the grants office at 7pm on Tuesday. Then I was at work until 7:30pm on Thursday because another of the doctors likes to push the deadlines and so I had to wait for her to submit her grant. All in all, I had worked 35 hours by Thursday and bitch didn't come to work on Friday. CHA CHING.

Guess what I did on Friday with my time off?


I did nothing.

I took a whole day off to do nothing. I did go out on Friday night for the Mexican's roommate's boyfriend's bday. I wore wedges (so my feet hated me) and vomited Sangria up at a wine bar before the night even started. We went to this gay club. It was entertaining for the two hours we were there, but my feet hurt and I wasn't drunk and I was ready to go home. So guess what I did on Saturday because I went out on Friday night? Nothing.

Yup. I did nothing again. I packed my bag for Jamaica. Cried in my head a little because I overpacked for the billionth time. I literally looked at the items in my bag and mentally noted the stuff that would never even be unfolded because I brought too much. However, I did get the essentials in my overhead compartment carryon. These essentials are 20 solo cups, 6 ping pong balls and a deck of cards. Yup, I'm going to figure out how the fuck we can play beer pong without a long table in Jamaica. I'm going to figure it out. I swear. There will be pictures.

Did I tell you that I'm going back to Jamaica on Thursday? Yeah...that's right, I'm a glutton for punishment. It should be quite entertaining though and I'm pretty excited about it. I'm ready to be done with the next few days though.

Jesus. I just realized I haven't updated since before Thanksgiving. So here's how that shizz went.

My mom started cooking almost two weeks in advance (I might've mentioned that). I started my cooking about three days before.

Mind you, we do Thanksgiving at our house on Saturday so we can invite friends who spend Thursday with their family. We also go to my Uncle's house on the Upper West Side for actual Thanksgiving, because they can never make it to our house due to my Aunt's family having some annual shindig. After my Uncle's Thanksgiving I took my car, leaving my parents to take the train home, and made my way over to the Mexican's for their Thanksgiving. Their party was lovely. I carved the turkey (which was the best ever) and The Mexican got schwasted, everyone was happy. It was a Merry Thanksgiving. Great success.
Here is what I contributed to Thanksgiving:
  • Mac and Cheese (I think I used about 7 cheeses)
  • Bacon and Jalapeno Mac and Cheese (Same base as above) - took to the Mexican's and abandoned
  • Bacon wrapped stuffed jalapenos (with herb cream cheese)
  • Bacon wrapped waterchestnuts (with sriracha aioli)
  • Bacon wrapped dates (stuffed with marscapone and almond slivers dipped in soy and brown sugar)
  • Spinach, artichoke and crab dip (with mozzarella melted atop - very much like a restaurant..but better)
  • Garlic Mashed Potatoes that are glorious and I don't even like potatoes
  • Brussel Sprouts two ways (baked and crispy, and creamy mustard)
  • Salad (with home made dressings)
  • Chocolate Chip Cookies
  • Pumpkin Cranberry Cookies
  • Gingersnaps and pumpkin dip
  • Sangria
Here's what my mother contributed to Thanksgiving:
  • Her famous spinach that I always always want
  • 6 types of stuffing (cornbread and sausage, sausage and sausage, water chestnut and chinese sausage, some kind of vegetarian one, oyster, wild rice with something or other)
  • Gallatine (turkey stuffed with duck stuffed with chicken stuffed with sausage - no bones)
  • Turkey
  • Curry Pumpkin Soup
  • Homemade chicken liver pate
  • Cornbread
  • Mozzarepas
  • Mushrooms and Onions
  • Sweet noodle kugel with peaches
  • Stuffed mushrooms
  • Sweet potato casserole
  • Pumpkin pie
  • Apple Pie
  • Pear Tart
  • Cheesecake
  • .....I know I'm missing stuff, and some other people brought things as well but yeah...there was a shit ton of food and I remained mostly stress free. My mom and I didn't kill each other, and I was semi-social.
Here's what my dad contributed to Thanksgiving:
  • Labels - his one and only job was to label the food, he failed. I labeled most of the stuff. I guess he also did everything else my mom told him to, so he contributed SOMETHING. He went to the store a lot for us.

I didn't go to my college friend's leftover party on Friday though. I pretty much hibernated until Monday actually.

In other news, let me tell you about the new guys in my life.

You see, Compas is pretty much gone. He got the hint that I wasn't interested. I'm an ass. I've moved on.
HWizard has been out of town for quite a bit, so that's all blah - but should be fine. Steel Pans works like a fucking fiend and has to wake up at the ass crack of dawn, but after our little tiff over money things are fine and he comes by for quickies when he can. I spent the day after Thanksgiving with JBike, and saw him on Saturday. He's finally working so maybe my money will come back to me soon!

I decided last weekend it was time to really get on my meeting people ish.

So I've been talking to this guy that we'll call Big Blue, because he's a Giants fan. GAG. But whatever, we talk about football and it's sweet. I went to watch the games with him yesterday in the Bronx and it was rather pleasant. He invited me to dinner on Friday, but I couldn't get my shit together in time to go before going out with the Mexican, so Sunday it was. We spent the day watching the games and rooting against each other eating pizza. It was lovely.

After I saw Big Blue, I went to go see this guy I will call Baby Hustla...because he's 21 (JUST turned 21 on Nov. 6) and well...he's a hustler folks. That's right, I'm talking to a goddamn pubescent drug dealer.

Whatever. He's an idiot. He has a face tattoo (which he thinks is fine because it's a cross and he loves Jesus), he also has some bible verse tattooed across his whole chest and kind of up his neck. He has a baby face, but is at least taller than me. His family is from Jamaica, although he is not. He's been shot twice, and recently. Everything about him screams AWFUL IDEA, but he's entertaining. We cuddled, he tried to get in my pants, and I didn't do it! He did bite my fucking throat though. Thanks for the hickey, asshole. He said he wanted me to remember him every time I looked in the mirror. I nearly punched him in the face.

All of that being said, I will most likely see him again because I'm a fucking fool and I think it'll be good sex. Also, he makes me feel smart because he says some of the dumbest shit I've ever heard and who doesn't need an intelligence ego boost from time to time?

The most important new boy I will call Playboy...because that's what he is. He admittedly doesn't care much about girls' feelings. However, he's been to my house twice now (Thursday and Friday) and all we did was cuddle and well, I let him get to second base, but seriously it was precious. He's a really sweet guy - so far - and we're really comfortable with each other. Great cuddler. He does give me slight panic attacks when he wakes up, because randomly he'll wake up, make some random movement like pulling me close or basically waking up saying that it's time for him to go. Motherf-er, RELAX. I told him that, because it freaks me the fuck out when he does that. Also, his car was blocking my mom's in, so I knew he had to be out by 8, so I didn't sleep so well on Thursday.

Look, it's a work in progress, but I'm just proud of myself for keeping my pants on lately. Trying to form bonds of substance...although not one of these guys will end up going anywhere, so sad. They're all so damn cute though.

So damn cute...

Here's a fun little tidbit about today though. So I went to get the salad dressing from the fridge, and someone put it in there without screwing on the top and it slipped onto the ground and EXPLODED all over me. My shirt is currently drying. Thank goodness for layers. I smell a bit like balsamic vinaigrette and I had the stuff all over my face. I keep it classy blogosphere, I keep it classy.


Lorraine said...

Dude, I'm jealous of all your boy options! Holy crap, cuddling. I remember cuddling. If I may just say though, I don't know Baby Hustla but he's totally my least favorite. No.

Also, Jamaica?! Jealous. :(


Monica said...

Imma hustla, Imma hustla! I love it!! I just text you my opinion of this guy...also I am not amused by this cuddling nonsense w/Playboy. But I guess I can allow it to happen, some cuddling is necessary. Oooh and Bacon Jalepeno mac & cheese...died at my desk!

KG said...

Oh Lor, they're nothing to be jealous of right now because I'm 98% sure none of them are going anywhere.

I would say you should def come to Jamaica, but I need to see how this trip pans out before I can really recommend it again.

Mo, you crack me up and he's def a hustla and proud. And BITE ME, Playboy is super cute and he hasn't forced himself into my pants.

I will cook for you one day.

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