How do you know when to end things?

I know I still have to write about my trip to Chicago, but that will come in due time.

In the meantime, I've just been thinking lately. This past weekend was gloriously relaxing, but it also made me slightly uneasy.

Ignoring the amounts of Halloween candy that I consumed because my emotions and hormones were all askew, I felt a little sick. Friday I was lazy, and thankful the Compas' coworkers kept him late at the bar so we couldn't hang out. It was really nice to catch up on rest. I probably should've gone to pick up JBike because he hasn't been doing so stupendously lately, and it would've been a nice gesture...but I'm losing the ability to choose friends over convenience. Oh well. I'm working on it. I just know that once the snow starts to fall, my ass will not be getting behind the wheel of a car, so that's going to change the dynamic of a lot of my friendships.

Saturday, I continued my rest until it was time to go to New Jersey with the Mexican and his friend Kennedy. We drove out to westbumblefuck, NJ and on the way paid a million dollars in tolls to go through Staten Island and stopped at a convenience store to get the Mexican's boy some congratulatory gifts and snacks. Lots and lots of snacks. My car is now stocked for a nuclear holocaust. So, if you need a ride into the apocalypse, at least we will get there fat and happy!

The show was called Urinetown. You can google it. It was odd, but enjoyable and the car rides were not too bad. Always a good time with the Mexican.

Sunday, I was going to bake cookies for Mo. Having not seen Compas in a few weeks (since the apple picking extravaganza), I invited him over to bake cookies. He came over around 4:30pm and we hung around until my mom was done with the kitchen, leaving everything there for me to clean up. She's kind of an ass like that.

Anyway, we baked cookies. I tried to give him things to do, but honestly...cookies are really damn easy to make and I probably could've taken care of it by myself. He did do a lot of dishes though, so that was sweet. He also did the hug from behind while I stirred the batter thing. It was really quite nice, but...

Yup, a big resounding BUT...

The more time I spend with him, the less I find myself really attracted to him. He's doing nothing wrong. He's a great guy with an honorable job. He's sweet, but I don't know. I'm just not really all that physically attracted to him (and the Mexican pointed this out the first time he saw us together). Also, his skin bothers me. For whatever reason his face gets really oily, which makes me feel gross if our faces touch because I'm worried about his grease clogging MY pores! And if I'm wearing my glasses when we kiss, it somehow gets on my goddamn glasses and I hate that. His hair is also kind of greasy, which I guess it better than being dry, but I don't like to touch it.

Furthermore, I don't like his kissing. When I'm drunk, we are kissing compatible....from what I remember. Sitting down cuddling on the couch...nope! He's a 98%-er. You know, those people that go in 98% for the kiss giving you very little room to reciprocate the kissing action. I felt like I was always pulling my face away. I like to feel like I'm "chasing the kiss" sort of. Like I actually have to participate and I can't just sit there and pucker my lips. I feel like this is my major problem with most guys kissing. I just didn't want to kiss him! This is a problem. Also, the one time there was tongue involved it was INCREDIBLY awkward.

He is going TOO far

We're supposed to see each other again soon...but does it make sense to keep this going? I need advice! Do I end it now, or...I don't know.

Look, the guy tried to get to second base or at least an over the shirt feel and he tried to tweak a fold in my shirt as opposed to my nipple. Had to put an IMMEDIATE kibosh on that sitch.

Oy vey.