I'm pretty sure I was moving in slow motion this morning, and it was not pleasant. All I want is a toasted bagel to fill up my belly. It's not going to happen though. I can't get myself together enough to move.
The Stumble Inn was pretty entertaining last night to say the least. I decided about midday that I was going to get smashed and I did.
We stopped for vodka on the way to the bar. Always smart. The bartender at the Allie Way is adorable, but so stupid. Like really dumb. Oh well, nice eye candy.
We got to the stumble around 6:45 I would say? Odd that we were at the Allie Way so long, considering we each only had two vodka on the rocks'. Anyway, got to there and commenced drinking hard cider. Very, very classy. Sarah and the Mexican ate a stuffed burger and nachos. I decided against it, for optimal "get drunk" speed.
To make an already long story shorter than it could be, the following are things I did last night:
- Felt up a fire fighter. He was such an asshole, and he was wasted. They called him "Cockasaurus Rex", I had to feel for myself. So I did, a lot.
- Introduced Tiffany to another fireman who is also a nurse that I gave my card to because I told him I could get him a job. LOL. RIGHT. He was adorable though.
- Was bought a pint by an Irishman. He was a ginger.
- Played beer pong and did quite well, but went to go pee and my partner lost the game for us.
- Lots of fist bumps and high fives.
- Exchanged numbers with a second grade teacher that wanted to touch my boobs.
- Scratched my throat with my finger, demonstrating lack of gag reflex.
- Got shithoused.
- Dirty texted - not quite sexting.
Oh, I went on a blind date on Saturday. We went to Indian food. He bought a bottle of wine. We went to a karaoke bar and didn't sing. Went to a regular bar and definitely sang, danced and got schwasted. Went to a "club" and definitely sang, danced and got more schwasted. Lots of making out ensued, LOTS.
I think we're going apple picking on Sunday.
Life is good, even if my belly feels like GAR-BAHGE right now (you like my phonetic french accent? I thought you would.)
Did I tell you about Honey last week? I hope I did. Highlight...30 seconds of sex in the bathroom with little Abdul. Damn, I just looked. I did not tell you about Honey last week. I looked hot as shit in my new dress thing. There was drinking. I don't remember if there was much dancing. Damn it seems so long ago. Oh well, more tonight.
It's cool, my diet is shot. I'm not planning on going to the gym again until November. Also, I plan on being drunk for the better part of the rest of the month. My stomach turned a little when I wrote that. GET ON BOARD LIVER, OR I'M LEAVING YOUR ASS BEHIND.
Oh yeah, and B and I got drunk at Blockheads on Monday. Sorry for partying.