I'm being selfish, and slightly freaking out.
At 2:20am, tomorrow morning, I will be on a flight going to Kingston, Jamaica. There I will take a cab into New Kingston, get on a bus at 9:30am and arrive in Ocho Rios just before noon.
My friend Kim was supposed to come with her friend to pick me up from the bus stop. We are sharing a hotel room, she's been there for 10 days already. There are a lot of other people there too, including her sister (whom I have met once), but other than that...no one I know.
I got a call this morning from the ring leader of my Chicago/Canadian group of friends (and the organizer of all things Jamaica), telling me that Kim...is in the hospital. She had surgery yesterday, and they are only releasing her today for the wedding, but she will be going back to the hospital tomorrow.
She broke her hand in Jamaica. She fell off the back of a pick up truck.
I'm freaking out a little bit. I was already nervous about taking this whole thing on by myself, but now my only lifeline has sunk herself. This makes me selfish. I obviously care what's going on with Kim, but I'm also worried about myself.
I currently have something like the flu. Turns out those hives from Saturday, are just part of the viral infection that my body is currently fostering.
I spent some of last night curled in fetal position on the floor of my bathroom after vomiting up my life. Yes, I laid in bed with a bit of vomit in my hair before I took a shower because I was that miserable.
I managed to finish packing though, and made it to my job by 8am this morning, just to find out that the maintenance man didn't arrive until 8:30. I'm in desperate need of meds. I'm "praying" that this congestion doesn't get worse before I get on the plane, or I'm in for a really really shitty night/morning.
The light at the end of the tunnel is that I will be in Jamaica at this time tomorrow; the boulder blocking that light is that I actually have to make it there in one piece. I wish I wasn't going to get ripped on in the cabs. I wish that everything would not be falling apart.
I wish I had more money in my bank account, but I lent JBike $860. I wish that Steel Pans' phone didn't get cut off, because it freaked me out into thinking that yet again I wouldn't get my money back.
My stomach hurts. My face hurts (with a really good red dot in the middle of my right cheek). I just want a nap. I don't want to be here.
I want to be coddled (and I never want to be coddled). I'm being a baby. A baby that better grow the fuck up in the next 12 or so hours, because that's when I'll be heading the the airport to take on Jamaica by myself.
Cross your fingers for me. For what, I don't know. Just cross them.