Chicago comes to New York!

I'm a negative blogger. I prefer rant posts to anything else. Either ranting or drunken recall, and since I've neither been upset nor drunk lately, I have little to no blog material.

I have decided it might be time to recap Mo's trip to NYC. This is just a boring recall, I apologize in advance for the lack of snarky commentary. I'm just kind of blah. I really want bread.

As you may already know, Mo arrived on Thursday 9/22 in the evening...this means that we were at Honey.

Since she was getting in late, the Mexican and I decided to go get Korean fried chicken. We wanted to decide who had the better chicken between two places, so we went to both. We went to Bon Chon and then Kyo Chon in Koreatown. I was feeling OK, but again I was getting a little burpy which is never ok before drinking.

We parted ways and I headed to Honey. It was actually a quite beautiful night, maybe a little hot and muggy, but nice regardless.  I reserved the outside so I was sitting there with Feathers and Heels, drinking. Kirk was harassing Heels and we were all pretty much trying to ignore his cocky ass. I had to get a carafe of water because I started feeling terrible and getting hot sweats from the fried food and mugginess (I have no gall bladder, so fried usually doesn't go so well with me). My stomach started to settle, thank goodness.

Before we knew it, Mo had arrived! She got out of the cab saying that she thought she was going to die in there because he was speeding down the highway. I didn't give her much time to talk before saddling her up with some pre-ordered drinks.

Shortly there after, B and her other friend arrived...we'll call him Cousteau, because it makes sense to me. He's not unattractive and he's got a decent personality. He's shorter than I am and the only guy I've ever had sex with who was. ANYWAY. The drinking had commenced.

Mo and B, reunited and it feels so good!

Cousteau and B

Anyway, the evening went on. I don't remember going inside to dance at all, but B and Mo did. I'm pretty sure Feathers did too at some point. We all got trashed. Like TRASHED. Feathers didn't remember leaving and I guess she vommed in the cab and ruined her shoes. Yet again, I managed to get everyone HAMMERED. I don't remember saying goodbye to anyone, but Mo told me a did. Cousteau drove us two blocks to the train station where Mo and I got on the train and I promptly told her what stop we were getting off at, and passed out. (I'm a really great host, I promise). I woke up right before our stop and we got off and got life saving sandwiches. I lost half of mine though. To this day, I still don't know where it is. I don't think I ate it.

Friday it rained. I had taken the day off. We did nothing. We watched TV and I cleared my DVR in anticipation of all of the fall premieres/shows. We eventually got hungry in the evening and decided it was time to get ready. We were going to Taj for Chris' birthday and wanted to get dinner first.

We got ready, packed up the bottle of Cosmo and Pomm-Appletini from Honey the night before and made our way to Union Square.

We decided to eat at Republic, and it was delicious. Then we walked in the rain up towards Taj. We were going to meet up with Feathers, but we could NOT figure out a plan, so we ended up at Taj really early. I started drinking.

We were standing on the corner and Mo said we couldn't do that because we looked like prostitutes. Then we moved under some scaffolding not too far from the corner and a crazy/homeless man basically called us lesbian hookers. I don't know WHY Mo humored him and responded to what he was saying. I tried to ignore him, but then almost got into an argument with him because I mumbled "Why can't you just disappear?" to which he responded "How am I supposed to disappear on a public street?" I retorted with something like "You didn't need to stop here. Goodbye." I ignored everything else he said. He was the one who said he would let us get back to each other and "make our money". Absurd.

So we went to Taj, got there around the same time as Chris. We got in just before midnight and they have two for one drinks. So I got two cran vodkas and two long islands. They lasted me the whole night. I nursed them and held down the bar. Dancing happened. Monica was cuffed pretty fast by this adorable boy named Dorian, and just like every time I go to Taj, the deaf people find me. That's right, deaf. I don't have a problem with the hearing impaired, but the limited sign language I know does not allow us to converse, and I really want to be able to jam to the words of a song as well as the beat. I got away that time. We left around 3:30am.

Chris dancing on her bday!

Tired Mo, need to sit.

Saturday Mo wanted to be a tourist. So we tried to make it into the new 9/11 Memorial. Unfortunately, there were no tickets left so we just ended up walking around Lower Manhattan for a little while. We got delicious Pizza and went up to Times Square. We rode the ferris wheel in Toys R Us. We were those people. Those ADULTS I should say. It was pretty glorious. Afterward, we made plans to meet up with the Mexican and one of his roommates down in Chinatown.

Freedom Tower in progress

My little pony car at Toys R Us

We were early to Chinatown and so we got some bubble tea and just hung out before going to this Vietnamese place for dinner. It was pretty damn delicious.

We had plans to meet up with VWR and Ebony Banker (EB) at this bar Legends. So we went up to Herald Square and into the bar to look for her. It was PACKED. The LSU game was on and it was an LSU fan bar. So hot. I went outside to try and get in contact with VWR and had a frustrating time figuring out what to do. She was drunk and kept asking the same questions. They finally agreed to come meet us for a little while so we went back to Legends where I promptly downed two or three cran vodkas in the hell hole they call their upstairs. It was nice to see VWR and EB though. They're a really cute couple. We stayed for about 45 mins and then walked over to HK Lounge to meet Chris for bday round two, and T for one of her friend's bdays (her friend who I've met a million times before). We didn't stay there long because our feet were KILLING us.

Mo and I left around 2, 2:30am. It took us two hours to get home, thanks to the awesomeness of the MT-FUCKING-A. Our feet were so unhappy.

Sunday Mo wanted to be touristy again. We RUSHED to get to the Statue of Liberty boat. It was actually a really nice day. We saw the Statue and Ellis Island and then went up to Curry Hill for some DELICIOUS Indian lunch. We went back up to Times Square to get some souvenirs and decided not to go see a broadway show. Instead we went back to Brooklyn and I took Mo to see the Brooklyn Heights Promenade which is the best view of Manhattan. Unfortunately, the pictures suck because it was night, but it was beautiful. We went to the movies and then home. We had to be up at 4am to go to the airport.

Liberty Island

On the boat to the islands

Overall, I had a great time. My toes are bruised a million ways and I didn't do ANYTHING (other than Honey) the next week/weekend because I needed to recover, but it was a good time.

In other news:

• As I mentioned, I booked my trips to Chicago and Jamaica and I cannot WAIT
• I bought a ton of clothing that I may or may not need
• I need to get a million pairs of pants hemmed
• I've been pretty good about going to the gym lately - my legs hurt a lot right now
• I have to shop for Jamaica and a Halloween Costume
• I need a pair of nice waterproof leather boots
• I have a cold and I'm tired of this goddamn sore throat
• I'm going to the Jets game on 11/11 and could not be more excited about that
• I lent Steel Pans $400 so that he could get his license reinstated and go back to work (baby mama drama)
• I really want a piece of cake
• These pants pockets aren't big enough for my phone
• I don't want to do anything at work

Bullet point recap: worst vacation ever and stressful birthday surprises

Dearest followers, I know I have been delinquent lately, so I'm going to try and sum up the past two weeks of my life in bullet point format.

I just realized that I haven't updated since August 1st. Damn do I have a lot to get through.

Week of August 1:
I don't remember anything that happened up until Honey Thursday.


Thursday:

• You might remember that I led the owner of Honey on in a charade where he thought he would get into my pants in exchange for driving me home. Well folks, I must be awesome because he said he wasn't mad at me and thus, I win.
• I made out with the short bathroom attendant. The same one that squeezed my butt the week before.

 Friday

• B was supposed to be busy the first weekend in August because it was her on again/off again boo's birthday, but he went to Vegas.
• BiL decided two weeks prior that he was going to have this gigantic cookout where there would be tons and tons of basketball eye candy/meat and great food.
• Unfortunately, I had agreed to go to PA with Niokka a few weeks prior due to B not being in town and BiL taking his sweet as time in making arrangements for the cookout.
• I took Friday off to take a bus to Gettysburg, PA (5 hours) after stressing about packing all week and being yelled at by Niokka for stressing her out when she was studying for finals. Mind you, she was the only person I knew going and was telling me all sorts of random stuff about what I was supposed to do, last minute.



Please note how far Gettysburg is from NYC

• I dragged my ass to DeKalb Avenue to be at the bus before 9:30am, I was there at 9am where I met Niokka's friend Jazmeen.

• I was constantly debating not getting on the bus (and I probably shouldn't have) because of the cookout and because Gettysburg was so far away, but after a lot of debating, we finally located the bus (incredibly late) and were on our way to the Bronx the pick up the other group of people.
• There were a lot of other people waiting for buses, some attractive, some "not so"...most of the "not so"'s got on our bus. This was a bad sign. Also, there was a lot of drinking planned for the bus ride. Mind you, it was well before noon.
• Not in such a great mood, I tried to suck it up and rest. We got to the BX and Niokka and Joanne got on the bus. The rest of the ride was filled with drinking a lot of random mixed drinks and Jello shots. It took forever to get to the hotel.



Yummy jello shots.

• We got to the hotel and pretty much everything was canceled. There was supposed to be a BBQ (what we would be having for dinner) but the organizer didn't check if they could use an indoor grill (which they could not) so that was canceled. There was supposed to be Karaoke, but the machine was broken. There was supposed to be a "male revue", but the one stripper never showed up. The DJ that was supposed to be playing music at all of the parties, bailed last minute. Basically it was bad news all around.
• I cursed out the organizer, as did a bunch of other people. Mind you, he wasn't even supposed to be the go-to person, his wife was, but supposedly she sprained her ankle the night before.
• I was pissed, everyone was wandering around aimlessly and it was just a mess. I kept kicking myself for getting on the damn bus. I could've stayed home and not taken off a day for all of that...it gets worse.
• The one highlight was that I was with Joanne and some guy (Anthony) started talking to her and the guy was with his cousin (Senio), who I started chatting with. We ended up hooking up a few times, I'll see him again in a few weeks (and I'll tell you why the delay - note, the knee).
• Anyway, Senio and I hooked up that night, I went back to my room, showered, met back up with my friends and partied a bit. Hung out by the pool, had another guy hit on me who worked at the hotel, but he got me confused with someone else, so I walked away from him. 
• Senio texted me to come back to his room to sleep, so I went back and his cousin was trying to sleep. So I basically held off his advances, but his cousin "left" and well...we got it on again. Magically, as soon as we were done, Anthony re-appeared. Now mind you, this would be a little awkward to begin with, but it gets more awkward. Senio goes to lay down and kind of passed out. I'm sitting on the foot of the bed, between his legs and Anthony and I start talking. He mentions that he saw what I did. Awkward moment number 2. Then he asks if I've ever had a threesome. Now why would I lie? So I tell him yes. He asks if I would have one with him and Senio. WTF?! Awkward 3. I say "no, not interested". He says "so would you have a threesome...without him?" and I say "so basically you're asking if I would fuck you? no." At this point, Senio wakes up and is all "what's this talk about a threesome?" and I said "your cousin just asked if I would fuck him." and Senio does the cutest thing he goes "really man?" and sits up, wraps his arms around me and pulls me down next to him to cuddle. Then we go to bed.



A creeper!

Saturday:

• My "friends" get me from Senio's room for breakfast. We go eat and then hear that all of the stuff they talked about being available to do during the day was all for winter trips and there would be no laser tag, shopping, anything...so we make our own fun.
• They play strip blackjack and then dare or double dare. Details will not be disclosed.
• We all get ready to go to crabfest in Maryland an hour and a half away.
• We need more alcohol.
• We get to crabfest and eat a lot. I don't start drinking until later in the evening, and this is the beginning of the end.



This picture was not taken by me, but you get the point.

• Niokka basically treats me like a dog and gets pissed when I won't get her more shrimp. She yells at me and I'm fed up. I slowly start to get over it.
• Joanne and I go buy bottles of alcohol from a lovely old lady who owns the bar next door to the place we're at.
• As soon as we get back I get on line for free drinks. I get two for myself, since they're my first and then I'm told they don't have any more of the punch the other girls are drinking so Niokka says to get them shots, so I get shots for everyone, or as many as they'll let me. I can't carry them all, so Niokka takes my drinks to the table. I guess she thought they were her drinks because she adds one to her cup and Jazmeen's cup, and I don't know what she does with my other one so I get back and I'm asking where my drinks are. Of course she gets mad at me because she thinks I'm being selfish...yadda yadda. She gets pissed and so do I. So I sit with my drinks and she walks away.
• I have an allergic reaction to something so my skin is all red and blotchy and hot and I look angry. Senio thinks I'm mad at him, but I confirm this is not the case.



Similar to when I was in Philly, I don't know if you can see the redness of my face and chest

• There is a concert of some sort, but I'm too furious to really care. I take the shots back to the hotel with me.
• We head back to the hotel and I almost get into it with the organizer again because he's trying to treat me like a child because everyone is being babies and arguing about who is supposed to sit where (not me, mind you...but I do have a problem with this guy AND HE'S SO UGLY).
• When we get back everyone naps and showers and gets ready for the "white party". I go meet up with Senio and take care of business, and of course, as I turn the corner to go into the bathroom, Anthony magically appears. It's a little creepy actually.
• I drink the mixed drink that I made at crabfest, very quickly. We get into bathing suits and we go dance in the hottub.

Sunday:

• The next part is a touch fuzzy. I know I disappeared with some guy and he took me back to his room. I think I was being kind of a playful asshole and he got fed up with me, so we went back to the pool...
• As soon as I got back to the pool, I slipped. I slipped on the wet pool deck and guess what. My whole entire knee opened up again. I WAS FURIOUS. What should've been a little bump on the knee with a bruise for anyone, was a completely down to the bone open wound for me. I didn't want help though. I didn't want to go to the hospital. I didn't want the gurney. I didn't want it to be a big deal. I did this back in December, I knew what was going on but no one else seemed to. They wrapped my knee up with towels. I kept telling everyone to stop helping me, stop trying to move me, just stop. The EMT comes and I tell him I just need stitches and I don't want to go to the hospital. They tell me I need to. I keep telling everyone to stop. Niokka goes "Fuck her then" and I must've responded with "Fuck you too". There was more yelling and one of the EMTs tells me that if I don't shut up, in the state of PA they can charge me for something or other. I stop talking and give up at this point. I'm not even crying, I'm just mad. They take me out on a gurney. They shut down the pool party. I tell the girls I'm with that I don't need any of them to come to the hospital with me. I guess I don't clarify by saying that it's because I don't want to ruin their night, that was a mistake. Niokka continues to yell at me. Jazmeen and Joanne try to help me, and I just ask them to pack my stuff because we're leaving in the morning.



Swollen with new stitches...

• I get to the hospital. I convince them I only need basic xrays because there's no bone damage. They tell me it's a bad laceration. I get 18 stitches. I find out that I actually got there at 6:30am. At 9:30ish, the hotel people come to pick me up and say that they called the cops on my friends. I don't know why. All I know is that I've got a set of HATEFUL BBM messages in my phone from Niokka wishing all of this terrible shit on me because of nothing I could control.I get back to the hotel, finish packing my stuff in silence. I literally talk to no one because Niokka purposely tries to make me feel like shit by talking loudly on the phone in the room next door (adjoined rooms with the connecting door open) about how she wishes me dead and all of this stuff. I still have no clue why or what happened but we will never speak again, that's for sure.
• We get onto the bus. I'm missing part of my kindle charger, my outfit from the night before (I went to the ER in a bathing suit) and my flip flops. I don't talk to anyone except when they ask if I'm ok.
• I pop a percocet and we head to the casino an hour or so later.
• My dad picks me up, thus concluding the trip from hell.

The BBMs: 

Niokka got B involved because she's the one that introduced us. We were both talking about it for two days. I am finally over it. It created a little tension with B and I though because I was upset that she was still buddy buddy with Niokka after knowing that Niokka wished me dead and was serious as cancer about it. On Thursday, we had a big conversation about our friendship and the whole situation...

Monday and Tuesday I took off of work. Tuesday night I went to Buffalo Wild Wings with B.

Wednesday I went to the movies to see the Help with the Mexican and his friend Rodderick, who lives a block away from me. He's cute and nice. It was fun. We went to a diner afterward and I definitely walked around too much. My doctor told me to stop bending my knee....I'm not doing a good job.

Thursday

• Against better judgment, I went to Honey
• B and Feather were there, or came later.
• I drank a lot even though I'm on antibiotics (I looked them up, no instruction not to)
• There was a lot of drama outside but somehow we were inside for a while
• I officially am a  hookah smoker. It's bad. Had the worst flavor, bubblegum mint. I'm going to have to talk to Manny about never getting that again.



Sad but true about me and hookah :(

• I made out with the other bathroom attendant...in the locked bathroom. It could've gone further, but thank god it didn't. I guess I just have a thing for the boys downstairs.
• B's birthday was on Sunday so we started celebrating that night.
• I spent $200 again. I don't know how, but the bill said something like 28 happy hour drinks between the 4 of us.
• We were going to go to this place called the Polar Bear at around 10pm with the waitress because Feather's friend was having an open bar, but we didn't end up going and ended up back in Honey. Just can't get away! I swear!
• I don't remember carrying around my bag, but I must've been. Weird.

Friday:

• I took off from work again because I needed to go get drinks for B's bbq and I didn't feel like going.
• I went to the drink depot and at the request of T, I got way more than I needed to. I spent $369 on just beverages for the cookout.
• Then I slept.

Saturday

• I woke up and wanted to be lazy, but I wasn't.
• I got myself together and drove to Bushwick to pick up Delka and the cake.
• The cake was late. We were still in Brooklyn around 3ish.
• I drove to the park. We couldn't figure out how to drive up to the cookout, because we couldn't!
• T and Delka had to go back and forth about 6 times bringing the drinks in shopping carts across this stupid long bridge over to the cookout.

• 

  B and the delayed cake

• I told T to leave some of the drinks in my car, but she still took most of them so at the end of the night we had to bring them back when it was drizzling
• I was BBMing with B and was selling her on the fact that she was still going to a beach party. When she arrived, she was really excited and she cried. So surprised. Sadly, Niokka brought her, which was a little awkward for me at first, but I decided just to ignore it.
• I couldn't drink anything but beer because I was driving and the beer was doing nothing for me. 
• It was a good time anyway, and B had a good time, that's all that matters.
• Oh, and some guy stole my entire case of Heineken.
• We went back to B's house after the cookout and I napped.
• It was raining, but we still left the house at around 1:30am.
• The 6 train went express and skipped our stop, so we tried to get out at Brooklyn Bridge to hail a cab...in the pouring rain.



Rain on the train

• No cabs stopped, I was soaked.
• We got onto a local 6 going uptown and got locked in and missed the 4 train.
• We arrived at the loft party at around 3am, partied for an hour and then went back home.
• I wish I could've danced more, but I've been really mistreating my knee.

Sunday:

• B's mom made us breakfast and we chit chatted.
• I left around 2pm and went back to Brooklyn
• This new guy (Terron) I'm talking to came over on Sunday night and we cuddled and watched the Hangover and he's totally into me and a super sweetheart.
• I may or may not have a tiny hickey on my neck.
• I kind of blew off Steel Pans...oh well

Monday:

• Going to see the Glee movie with the Mexican tonight and then maybe more snuggle time. I love having my back rubbed. Winner!
• I'm probably going to Jamaica for the new year and this makes me really excited.

Sex, blood and shame...

So remember when I told you about Bar 13, well here's the story I mentioned.

Let's rewind to New Years 2010. My friend from Chicago, T (as Mo refers to her, and thus I will too), was visiting NYC. She wasn't here to visit me, per se, but being here when she's typically elsewhere, I was obviously going to make the effort to go see her.

It was a few days after the New Year, let's say the 3rd, when I got a text from T saying where she would be with her friend (who she was staying with). I thought, hey, good idea! Let's go.

Prepare yourself for a bit of a back story that might not be completely necessary, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

I called up B, who I wanted to meet T. She was on her way to go see this girl we can call Bambu. I've known Bambu since I was 13. We had never really been close, but after I moved back from Chicago we became friends - when other people were around. We actually all rekindled our friendship at our mutual friend's mother's funeral...great excuse to get shitfaced, right? So we did. Over the next few months, we went out some. We being me, B, Bambu and our other mutual friend 'Bino.

At that point in my life I was still mostly jobless (part timing as a medical assistant doesn't really pay the bills) and also, I wasn't big on spending money on alcohol (pre-gaming will always be my first love). Bambu is wealthy. She comes from a very wealthy family, and has no problem throwing money down (or so it seemed). I didn't really drink much at the bars, but whatever, I guess I was supposed to buy everyone drinks because they were offering to buy drinks? (A lesson I learned later). Anyway, one of those nights when we were drunk, Bambu called me out for not buying drinks. She actually made me feel bad, and like a user.

Having been used for lots of things my WHOLE LIFE, I took this to heart. I boohooed, right there in the bar. I told her I never wanted anyone to think of me like that, and then I sobbingly and begrudgingly, purchased a round. I thought we were past this. I thought we had discussed why it bothered me that she said what she said and I thought she knew I wasn't trying to use her for her family's money.

Welp, I was wrong. On January 3rd, B tells me she's headed to Bambu's apartment in midtown and that I should come. I message Bambu, see if this is OK and this is the jist of what she says..."If you're coming, bring whatever you want to drink. I don't have enough alcohol for everyone and I'm not paying for everyone to drink." By everyone, she means me, because it was only going to be me, B and her and she already told B that she didn't need to bring anything. Secondly, I was planning on bringing a bottle to share with everyone, because I have no problem with that. A bottle will cost me less than $40 and will get everyone shnocked, while a round of drinks at a club will cost more and do nothing for anyone.

I was offended to say the least. I responded with something like "I thought we went through this, I'm not trying to use you for your money or alcohol. I have my own, thank you very much. And you know what, I don't want to come to your apartment anyway." And I didn't. I couldn't forgive her for that bullshit. Something about how she acted time and time again offended me more than any other person has offended me in my life before. It got to my core, and it sat there.

I tried to make amends a few weeks later at this event that 'Bino had invited us all to, but she opened with "This problem we're having seems so petty and small compared to what they're going through in Haiti." ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? HAITI? That's what we're talking about now? I'm trying to make peace with you for the sake of our mutual friends, and you say that whatever we're having a problem over is unimportant because of Haiti. Wow. I almost shit a brick right then and there. I walked away from her, told B I tried, and never talked to her again. (By the way, the story from that night is pretty EPIC too. I'm pretty sure I was so beyond wasted I did things that I don't want to talk about with a boy whose name I'm having trouble remembering, in a neighborhood I would prefer never to go to again.)


Side note: this kind of blows because it made things a little weird for B, and it does bother me a little every time she says she's hanging out with Bambu, or that she's going to be in her wedding party, or that I haven't really hung out with 'Bino at all because they're besties. I would like to get over this and be civil. I even started telling B to give her my best wishes...etc, but I just don't know.

Back to the main story. So Bambu says this shit to me, B says she can't handle the drama and is just going home (I actually think she went to Bambu's anyway, but whatever...) So I was pissed at B, because at this point she hadn't met T, but was refusing to come out and I was pissed at Bambu, because she says stupid shit. So what did I do?

I drank. I drank a lot. I drank a lot VERY quickly.

I was fucking HAMMERED on the train. I talked to a guy about his shoelaces. We exchanged numbers. I lost the number. I was sad.

I stumbled to Bar 13, said whatever name T told me to, or someone came and got me at the door. I don't know what the hell happened, but I was in. I saw T. I was super excited. We danced. Her friend bought us drinks. I was introduced to his friend Beatles. He was beautiful, and educated. We danced more. We drank more. I was happy.

We decided to leave. Well...someone did, I don't know if I was really in the decision making mindset.

T's friend had driven. Beatles and I were in the backseat, T's friend was driving, T was in the passenger seat.

I want to say the next bit is blurry, but it's not. Beatles and I had been eating each others' faces for the past three hours, obviously there was chemistry. So in the backseat of the car, with two other people there, my dress went up, his khaki dress pants went down, and some circus act maneuvering began to take place.

He was not a small boy and I was so dehydrated what I don't know how it all worked, but it did.

T's friend drove purposely like an asshole with stopping short, making the door handle in my back all the more uncomfortable. T is a dirty freak and she definitely watched at some point, or at least was an ass and made it very clear that they were aware of what was going on in the back seat.

I rode on his lap at one point because it made more sense. Don't worry folks, the top of my dress was still on.

Wait, let me mention to you that I had been at my friend's wedding earlier in the day so I was wearing a silver dress, fit for a wedding, and probably not car sex. (I'm so classy).

So we get to T's friend's house. We get into the apartment and T said "OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT ALL OVER YOUR DRESS? AND WHAT'S ON YOUR PANTS?!"

Way to make an already awkward situation, more awkward.

It was not my time of the month. I was shwasted, and I was unsure of what was going on, but lo and behold, Beatles and I are covered in blood. Not just any blood, my blood. But I later found out, it was not period blood. It was blood that comes about when large things try to enter not so moisturized orifices.

I was embarrassed, and T is an asshole and was making it worse than it needed to be. I quietly took Beatles' pants, determined to work magic, and work magic I did.

Somehow I scrubbed all of the blood out of his khaki suit and out of my silver dress. Everything was hung up to dry in the bathroom. I had sobered up for a cool 15 minutes.

This did not last.

I don't know what made us decide to continue doing what we were doing, but we had a lot more sex that night. A LOT. We moved the whole couch 8 feet across the living room, into the wall. Did it this way and that. I had stopped bleeding mind you. Well, for the time being. We woke up the next morning having rearranged the living room.

Everyone awkwardly watched sportscenter together before Beatles walked me to the car - it was his car.

My heart SANK when we go to the car. I had lost my glove the night before right next to the car, so at least I had that back (unlike my dignity), but the backseat of his car looked like a crime scene. There was literally blood everywhere.

His suit was still damp and he was freezing. He had to cover the backseat of his car with newspaper so he could take it to the shop to be cleaned and so people wouldn't think he had committed murder.

He drove me to the train station, the last stop on the 2 train. It was an almost silent ride. I offered him money for the cleaning. He didn't accept.

That was the last time I saw Beatles. I got to think about him on the shameful 2 hour, midday Sunday subway ride back to my house.

Sex, blood and shame...