I have returned!

I could update about how great my trip to Jamaica was (because it was, until Monday morning). I could lie and say I didn't black out every night. I can tell you that I didn't do anything really stupid (but that would also be a lie). I could say that I'm really mean sometimes, and yet too nice to the point where people know IMMEDIATELY how to take advantage of me.

Honestly, I just wish I could show you pictures of the trip. I wish I could recount all of the great memories that B and I have...but I have no pictures. Not a single one, because guess what. I was robbed. Again.

That's right. I made it all the way to Sunday night with all of my stuff. Then...a Jamaican made me angry. I pounded back the alcohol in a VERY short period of time, and I blacked out. Bad. I was obsessed with selling these three hats that I had gone to 5 different footlockers to pick up for someone, like a fool.

I kept talking about them. I thought I was going to sell them to this guy with honey eyes. He came back to the room, and the next day (when I woke up from my blackout), I had no hats. I had no phone. I had no camera. I had no watch.

No watch! I got that watch when I was 15, in 11th grade. 10 years, and gone because I can't keep from blacking out.

That last day tainted the whole trip. As soon as the Giants won the Superbowl, it went downhill from there.

So again, this trip cost me WAY more than anticipated because now I have to replace all of my belongings again. Let us remember that I replaced that camera 2 weeks ago.

I just can't get a break.

I'm glad I have my phone back so I can talk to Mo, but honestly, I was perfectly content without a phone. People just make things complicated.

In other news, Sugar is engaged and the wedding will probably be the next time I go to Jamaica.

And, I'm having surgery on Wednesday...

I don't know how I feel about the surgery right now. I'm feeling a touch selfish because there's a potential that I will be spending more money on this surgery than a person supporting a family of 4 might make in a year in this city and still be considered over the poverty line...or at least that's how I feel.

I'm sure there are a million more things I could say. In fact, maybe I will talk about my trip more, but I'll wait until I'm laying in bed post-surgery feeling like shit with nothing to do but watch tv.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Or so Bob Marley (via my iPod AND Pandora) keep telling me, I won't and I will.

I'm going to blog today (if the fact that you're reading this wasn't already an indicator). It will not be the piece of shit that yesterday's post was. I just wanted to remind you all, and confirm that I am in fact, still alive. Maybe a little more boring, but still alive.

So let's talk about New Years. I had big plans for New Years Eve. I was going to write this huge "letter to 2011". It was somewhat of a thank you, somewhat of a goodbye, somewhat of a FUCK YOU, letter. It never got written. I was writing it in my head on my way home from work on the 30th. That's where it stayed, in my noggin. Maybe by the end of this entry I will feel inspired and have the urge to reflect on the debacle that was my 25th year of life. Maybe I will write the entry as that 25th year ends and I go to celebrate my 25th birthday.

Speaking of 25th birthday celebrations. As of 10:33am, B and I are going to Jamaica to celebrate. The flight is booked, and I'm still trying to figure out where we will be staying, but there are always options, it's about appealing to my inner Jew and getting the cheapest accommodations that I can.

I remember back to the time when I cared how clean and glorious a hotel was. Now, I'm ok with staying in a cheap little shit hole that has a working bathroom and somewhere mostly clean for me to sleep, as long as the price is right.

My my, how times have changed.

In the name of change, I am on a diet. Mostly just trying not to eat more than about 300 calories before dinner so that I can actually eat a meal that I will enjoy without feeling completely guilty. Oh and Jillian Michaels is kicking my ass at night.

Two days in, so far, so good. By good, I mean, I'm hungry and my muscles hurt; and I have to pee every 20 minutes because of all the water I'm drinking to try and suppress the hunger. It's going to take a lot not to eat free lunch at work today. I could really go for a piece of lasagne, but tonight is my job's holiday party so I'm already going to "cheat" so fuck it. I can wait until next Thursday if I really want a piece of damn lasagne.

My stomach just gurgled. Bastard.

I lost my mojo. Sorry y'all. You'll have to wait to hear all about T's bday celebrations, my stomach virus, NYE and how I've lost my mind.

Living like a local in foreign country

Well I've been trying to catch up on blogs today after a brief hiatus, but I figure it's about time to fill you in on my most recent adventure.

I'm sure I mentioned multiple times that about 3 weeks ago I decided to go to Jamaica with my friend Sugar (who I met - but knew of before - in October). I was a bit more comfortable this time, because I was not going to a new city, and I knew where I was going and who I would see, etc.

I left on Wednesday night. This was after having packed all night Saturday and not having looked in my suitcase up until that point. That's a lie, actually. I kept adding little knick knacks here and there. Like a lock for one of the pockets in the bag so my phone wouldn't get stolen like last time. I spent about $200 at Duane Reade on Sunday (and I totally didn't know that Duane Reade wasn't a national chain). I also was making a fuss about getting the airport. JBike was going to take me, but then he would've had to take my car and blah blah blah, all of this random stuff that made it difficult. So after whining for two hours about this, my dad said "Stop this. Here's $80 for your cabs. Now stfu."

Thanks pop!

So that was settled. I made it to the airport in 20 minutes, in the rain, and almost got into a huge accident on the Belt.

I made it through check out and security in 10 minutes. I was therefore 2.5 hours early, when I had only intended on being there 1.5 hours early. Honestly though, thank goodness for online check in, because there was a line for regular check in with at least 50 people on it. I got to skip that because of the internet. Love.

Almost passed out in the airport waiting.

Ended up with a window seat (which I wanted) even though I opted for an aisle seat closer to the front of the plane. Funny how things work out!

I think we got delayed. I wouldn't be surprised. Oh yes, I remember now. There was an entire force of wheelchairs. I'm talking at least 15 people, and they didn't pre-board them. They didn't pre-board small children either. It was the worst fucking idea EVER. We were all stuck on the gangway as the wheelchairs pretty much played bumper cars with the strollers that had to be checked at the plane entrance. A middle aged Jamaican man was hitting on me while this was going on because I was very festive wearing a green hoodie and red and yellow scarves. It was only partially embarrassing, because no one really wants that kind of attention in the airport at 2am, and I had already gotten it from the bag drop off guy. I basically turned up my nose and felt righteous when I said it wasn't the first time I had gone to Jamaica.

I'm lying again. I was really cordial and flattered. He looked for me on the plane and tried to clear a path for me. I b-lined for my seat and tried to sleep.

Sleeping didn't go that great. I mean, I think I must've slept most of the time, but it wasn't like last time. I was awake for quite a bit actually. I was sitting behind a kid who must've been autistic or something. His shrieking really pissed me off at some point, and his insistence on playing his videogame at a loud volume didn't help. I tried to relax though, and did.

I got robbed again by JUTA. Doubly so, actually. I changed $40 USD into JMD at the airport cambio, which was a bad idea, because I ended up getting just over $3,000 JMD. The cab ended up being $3,000. I should've just stuck with the damn USD. Stupid stupid.

Anyway, I got to the bus station and hung out chatting on the free wifi until the bus came. I slept through a good portion of the bus I believe. I don't really remember. I got to Ocho Rios just before noon, as expected. No one came to meet me at the bus, which I could've figured. I dragged my bag down to the condo and try to get in contact with Sugar so security would let me through. I finally got the security lady to call her and they let me in where Max met me in front of the building and I scolded him for not meeting me at the station.

Shortly thereafter, we donned out bathing suits and made our way to the beach. The drinking began around 1. I drank about 4 beers in 20 minutes. Hello Red Stripe.

Then I went to go get Sugar a mixed drink with my Iced Tea Vodka and Peach Snapple Iced Tea. Here's what I didn't know. Sugar doesn't like Peach. I drank both of the drinks in about 15 minutes.

So now we're almost 45 minutes into the drinking and we decide to go back to the condo because I want to play beer pong. However, I do not have beer left, so the only logical thing to do is use vodka, right? Wrong. Very, very wrong. We had met this guy Pitbull on the beach, who was a friend of a friend or whatever. I don't really remember, but he was the one playing with me.

I broke out my solo cups and ping pong balls (yes, I brought them from home for this exact purpose). We stacked the tables on each other and let the games begin.

Pitbull was a fucking natural. He got three in a row. I took the shots (which apparently were quite large) and then I blacked out.

I woke up at around 1am.

Turns out I had been more drunk than I had ever been before in my life. I threw up everywhere - on all of the towels and my shirt. Pitbull had tried to wake me up with a cold shower. Well actually, he bathed me. Yeah, he washed my hair and soaped me up in my bathing suit.

I was not responsive. Almost choked on my own vom too, so I heard. Thanks guys for turning me on my side when I started to dry heave on my back.

When I woke up, two things happened. I told Sugar I was going to get ready to go out (which she told me she would not do - I should've insisted harder), and it hurt for me to smile.

APPARENTLY, I was sitting on one of the couches during vodka pong and I tried to get up. Instead of getting up, I went down...and hit my face on the floor.

That's a little sample of what my face looked like the next day. Yeah, it looked/looks like I was the victim of domestic abuse. I told people this too though, as I laughed about it the next day.

Basically, Thursday was a dead day because I was unconscious by 6pm.

Friday, however, I vowed that day drinking would not occur again. Pitbull works on a yacht. We hung out there for the day.

It was beautiful. I love these net things they have on the boats, except that Sugar knocked my water bottle through the net into the water below. Sug hasn't uploaded her picture where I was jumping off the boat yet though, so I don't really have many pictures of me on the boat.

We just listened to music, talked, lounged, ate beef patties and coco bread and relaxed. Jade came to hang out with us at some point and that was pleasant.

I don't know if I talked about Jade from the last trip, but I adore the guy. We have a no drama understanding. It was a very interesting evening though, because both Pitbull and Jade were after me that day when we went back to the condo.

Jade kept talking about October. Both of them kept trying to pull me close and kiss me when the other wasn't looking. Pitbull gave me a cleavage hickey. It was really confusing, but whatever. They started drinking heavy and tried to get me to join, which I didn't really do so much. It was an awkward "lust" triangle. I can't even explain it, because they both knew I was flirting with the other one too. I was doing it in front of them. They didn't care that I had just kissed the other. Jade knew I was going home with him, I think that's why.

Anyway.

We went to this bar that night to get food and of course I forget my camera battery. Sugar was drunk, Pitbull was drunk, Jade had left to go shower and change and whatever. He came back with his roommate and his whole crew basically and we posted up outside of the bar against the car drinking and such.

They decided to do "crocodiles" that night. I didn't want one, but somehow I was convinced to do half a pill that night, and it did nothing for me. Sugar, however, was teeth all a-chatter. I had to force her to chew gum on both sides of her mouth and escort her to the restroom. On the way, I ran into the kid who I had originally thought stole my phone. I went to go talk to him after putting Sugar back where she needed to be.

Kid might pay for me to go back for New Years. Max apologized to him for beating him up. Everyone asked about my face, it was just an interesting time. We meted out whatever issues we had.

When I got back to the car I cut Pitbull off and shoved a water bottle into his hand. He was a mess.

We were there until closing, not having made it to any of the clubs, and hardly having danced. We hung out at Jade's until around 5am. I was EXHAUSTED, but I got to cuddle with these little gems:

Willow and Plus One (or so I deemed her, because she has no name yet). After just kind of hanging out with everyone, Jade and I "went to bed".

I spent all of Saturday at the house, hanging out with the puppies.

Plus One

I went back to the apartment in the afternoon and got ready to go out. We were supposed to go to Margaritaville, but I don't know why we went so late. We ended up having to pay, and we had waited for Max to get there. It was around 2 when we went. Max wasn't feeling well and the drinks were so expensive, so when I went to go get another drink back at the room, Max and Sugar left too. 15 minutes later, when we went back to MVille, it was pretty much dead.

Pitbull and I took it to the pool.

Sunday we hung around. We were supposed to go on the Yacht, or this guy Kevin's boat, but both options fell through, which pissed me off. So Pitbull and I went to the beach.

We were there around sunset. After the ocean, we took it to the shower. Then we went to Jade's for dinner.

 Hung out at Jade's while the boys played poker until 5am, and then Jade and I took it to bed.

Woke up around 9, said by the Jade and his roommate took me and Pitbull back down to the condo. One of Jade's friends' mom is a politician

Shahine Robinson

And it was nomination day on Monday. So her son - Jade's friend - had brought tshirts for the rally. I took one and was wearing it all day. I got a lot of questions, looks and comments about that shirt throughout the day. It was actually kind of funny. SHOWA!

Jade was supposed to come back down to say hi before I left, but his roommate got stuck in traffic and he didn't come. Pitbull took me to the bus, we ate lunch, and off I went. The cab was cheaper on the way back to the airport. I was there later than I anticipated, but there were no lines and so I ended up being super early. Stopped at duty free, got some free wine samples, coffee and food. Hung out by myself and used the wifi until my flight. The flight was nearly empty and I had an empty seat next to me.

Ackee Wine, Sorrel Blush and Rum Wine

It was a really good flight and I made it home by like 12:30.

It was a very uneventful trip and I'm a little annoyed we didn't do more, but I'm not upset and there wasn't much drama, which is always nice.

Oh, Baby Hustla's baby mama texted me over the weekend. He lied about having a kid. That's going nowhere.

I saw Playboy last night. Good times, good times. He left his watch at my house. I'm trying to decide if it was on purpose. I doubt he's going to have feelings at any point, but it was a little odd, that's for sure.

I'm still undecided on how I feel about Jamaica. I love it, but I don't know if I quite love it the way other people do...although I might just be trying to convince myself that's the case.

California next week!

Another admittance of failure

I'm really awful at this blogging thing, so here's what's been going on with me lately that I may or may not embellish upon later.

Work was hell last week. Actually for two weeks it wasn't the most spectacular place. My boss was gone and I had 9 grants due in two days, 7 of which were absurd and required hardcopies and CDs and FedExing. I actually thanked the FedExing gods on Wednesday night because as I caught the last FedEx pickup JUST as he was leaving the building (that I had literally thrown shit across the room to my desk, ran down 6 flights of stairs, jaywalked dangerously, hailed a cab and gotten to the pick up place all in 12 minutes to catch). I've noticed the FedEx gods are fickle though, as they did not pickup my package from the dropoff the night before causing my coworker to hand deliver a grant that was due on Wednesday to the MetLife building as my head spun and almost imploded from the 7 other grants I had to deal with.

This whole grant situation is quite stress inducing because NO ONE knows how to prepare for a deadline, and they have no regard for my workload or that of our grants office. In turn, the grants office HATES my guts because I stop paying attention to little details and end up sending them versions with STUPID mistakes, which makes me look like a complete fool.

Also, the grants office is 8 blocks away, which really blows when things need to have "per ink" signatures because it requires so much back and forth, and if my coworker didn't go pick up all of the signature pages I needed on Wednesday, I would've cried myself into oblivion and no one's grants would have arrived at their destination.

So I was at work until 8:30 on Wednesday. That's after dropping off the signature pages at the grants office at 7pm on Tuesday. Then I was at work until 7:30pm on Thursday because another of the doctors likes to push the deadlines and so I had to wait for her to submit her grant. All in all, I had worked 35 hours by Thursday and bitch didn't come to work on Friday. CHA CHING.

Guess what I did on Friday with my time off?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY...nothing.

I did nothing.

I took a whole day off to do nothing. I did go out on Friday night for the Mexican's roommate's boyfriend's bday. I wore wedges (so my feet hated me) and vomited Sangria up at a wine bar before the night even started. We went to this gay club. It was entertaining for the two hours we were there, but my feet hurt and I wasn't drunk and I was ready to go home. So guess what I did on Saturday because I went out on Friday night? Nothing.

Yup. I did nothing again. I packed my bag for Jamaica. Cried in my head a little because I overpacked for the billionth time. I literally looked at the items in my bag and mentally noted the stuff that would never even be unfolded because I brought too much. However, I did get the essentials in my overhead compartment carryon. These essentials are 20 solo cups, 6 ping pong balls and a deck of cards. Yup, I'm going to figure out how the fuck we can play beer pong without a long table in Jamaica. I'm going to figure it out. I swear. There will be pictures.

Did I tell you that I'm going back to Jamaica on Thursday? Yeah...that's right, I'm a glutton for punishment. It should be quite entertaining though and I'm pretty excited about it. I'm ready to be done with the next few days though.

Jesus. I just realized I haven't updated since before Thanksgiving. So here's how that shizz went.

My mom started cooking almost two weeks in advance (I might've mentioned that). I started my cooking about three days before.

Mind you, we do Thanksgiving at our house on Saturday so we can invite friends who spend Thursday with their family. We also go to my Uncle's house on the Upper West Side for actual Thanksgiving, because they can never make it to our house due to my Aunt's family having some annual shindig. After my Uncle's Thanksgiving I took my car, leaving my parents to take the train home, and made my way over to the Mexican's for their Thanksgiving. Their party was lovely. I carved the turkey (which was the best ever) and The Mexican got schwasted, everyone was happy. It was a Merry Thanksgiving. Great success.
 

Here is what I contributed to Thanksgiving:

• Mac and Cheese (I think I used about 7 cheeses)
• Bacon and Jalapeno Mac and Cheese (Same base as above) - took to the Mexican's and abandoned
• Bacon wrapped stuffed jalapenos (with herb cream cheese)
• Bacon wrapped waterchestnuts (with sriracha aioli)
• Bacon wrapped dates (stuffed with marscapone and almond slivers dipped in soy and brown sugar)
• Spinach, artichoke and crab dip (with mozzarella melted atop - very much like a restaurant..but better)
• Garlic Mashed Potatoes that are glorious and I don't even like potatoes
• Brussel Sprouts two ways (baked and crispy, and creamy mustard)
• Salad (with home made dressings)
• Chocolate Chip Cookies
• Pumpkin Cranberry Cookies
• Gingersnaps and pumpkin dip
• Sangria

Here's what my mother contributed to Thanksgiving:

• Her famous spinach that I always always want
• 6 types of stuffing (cornbread and sausage, sausage and sausage, water chestnut and chinese sausage, some kind of vegetarian one, oyster, wild rice with something or other)
• Gallatine (turkey stuffed with duck stuffed with chicken stuffed with sausage - no bones)
• Turkey
• Curry Pumpkin Soup
• Homemade chicken liver pate
• Cornbread
• Mozzarepas
• Mushrooms and Onions
• Sweet noodle kugel with peaches
• Stuffed mushrooms
• Sweet potato casserole
• Pumpkin pie
• Apple Pie
• Pear Tart
• Cheesecake
• .....I know I'm missing stuff, and some other people brought things as well but yeah...there was a shit ton of food and I remained mostly stress free. My mom and I didn't kill each other, and I was semi-social.

Here's what my dad contributed to Thanksgiving:

• Labels - his one and only job was to label the food, he failed. I labeled most of the stuff. I guess he also did everything else my mom told him to, so he contributed SOMETHING. He went to the store a lot for us.

I didn't go to my college friend's leftover party on Friday though. I pretty much hibernated until Monday actually.

In other news, let me tell you about the new guys in my life.

You see, Compas is pretty much gone. He got the hint that I wasn't interested. I'm an ass. I've moved on.
HWizard has been out of town for quite a bit, so that's all blah - but should be fine. Steel Pans works like a fucking fiend and has to wake up at the ass crack of dawn, but after our little tiff over money things are fine and he comes by for quickies when he can. I spent the day after Thanksgiving with JBike, and saw him on Saturday. He's finally working so maybe my money will come back to me soon!

I decided last weekend it was time to really get on my meeting people ish.

So I've been talking to this guy that we'll call Big Blue, because he's a Giants fan. GAG. But whatever, we talk about football and it's sweet. I went to watch the games with him yesterday in the Bronx and it was rather pleasant. He invited me to dinner on Friday, but I couldn't get my shit together in time to go before going out with the Mexican, so Sunday it was. We spent the day watching the games and rooting against each other eating pizza. It was lovely.

After I saw Big Blue, I went to go see this guy I will call Baby Hustla...because he's 21 (JUST turned 21 on Nov. 6) and well...he's a hustler folks. That's right, I'm talking to a goddamn pubescent drug dealer.

Whatever. He's an idiot. He has a face tattoo (which he thinks is fine because it's a cross and he loves Jesus), he also has some bible verse tattooed across his whole chest and kind of up his neck. He has a baby face, but is at least taller than me. His family is from Jamaica, although he is not. He's been shot twice, and recently. Everything about him screams AWFUL IDEA, but he's entertaining. We cuddled, he tried to get in my pants, and I didn't do it! He did bite my fucking throat though. Thanks for the hickey, asshole. He said he wanted me to remember him every time I looked in the mirror. I nearly punched him in the face.

All of that being said, I will most likely see him again because I'm a fucking fool and I think it'll be good sex. Also, he makes me feel smart because he says some of the dumbest shit I've ever heard and who doesn't need an intelligence ego boost from time to time?

The most important new boy I will call Playboy...because that's what he is. He admittedly doesn't care much about girls' feelings. However, he's been to my house twice now (Thursday and Friday) and all we did was cuddle and well, I let him get to second base, but seriously it was precious. He's a really sweet guy - so far - and we're really comfortable with each other. Great cuddler. He does give me slight panic attacks when he wakes up, because randomly he'll wake up, make some random movement like pulling me close or basically waking up saying that it's time for him to go. Motherf-er, RELAX. I told him that, because it freaks me the fuck out when he does that. Also, his car was blocking my mom's in, so I knew he had to be out by 8, so I didn't sleep so well on Thursday.

Look, it's a work in progress, but I'm just proud of myself for keeping my pants on lately. Trying to form bonds of substance...although not one of these guys will end up going anywhere, so sad. They're all so damn cute though.

So damn cute...

Here's a fun little tidbit about today though. So I went to get the salad dressing from the fridge, and someone put it in there without screwing on the top and it slipped onto the ground and EXPLODED all over me. My shirt is currently drying. Thank goodness for layers. I smell a bit like balsamic vinaigrette and I had the stuff all over my face. I keep it classy blogosphere, I keep it classy.

I've come to a realization

I am a bad blogger.

I feel like there's so much I could say, yet my life has been incredibly boring lately. That being said, I have a lot of inner turmoil going on, so I'm sure I could come up with something to talk about. How about the fact that I literally did NOTHING useful from Friday evening up until this morning. The only people I saw were my parents (my dad for a whole two minutes, my mom whenever I was in the kitchen or she came into my room to chat). I slept like an old lady, and would pass out mid-show over and over again.

Oh wait, on Friday night, I did have a boy over. Here's the story of this guy. Let's call him HWizard. Don't even ask.

So HWizard and I met last year I think. We met online. That's how it all starts. It turns out, he went to college or something with B's cousin. Small world. I guess that's what happens when you play basketball. Anyway, we hooked up once (I think this was the only time I've been shnocked before 10am). I don't know how this happened, but I decided that drinking was a necessity. So we hooked up. Mid hook up, he gets a phone call. He says he has to go run and do something but he'll be back within an hour...uh OK. We got into a text "argument" and I deleted him for not coming back.

Fast forward to three or so weeks ago. He messages me again online.


Somehow we end up hooking up again. This is my life. These are the decisions I make. Welcome.

We got into a bit of a text "argument" on Tuesday again after I went to Instinct Magazine's man of the year party because I was a little tipsy and wanted to see him, and he was out of town playing ball...again. I was getting frustrated, because I wanted to add him to my regulars roster, but it wasn't happening.

Anyway, I saw him on Friday, he stayed until about noon on Saturday. There is so much I could say about the experience...it's been interesting. I haven't spoken to him since. I'm giving him the distance/space he needs. I know he'll be back.

SteelPans and I are currently "fighting". He made a "joke" about going to Atlantic City to gamble on Friday. I, naturally, responded with a snide remark such as "Oh, so that must mean you have the money you owe me if you have the money to go gambling with." This made SP not happy, not happy at all. He hasn't talked to me since. I apologized. Bummer.

In other news, I'm going to Jamaica. That's right. After weeks of ridiculous back and forth decision making, my parents convinced me I should go. I have a feeling this is going to happen a lot. They basically said that this is the time of my life to travel when there's nothing tying me to the city and that if I need it in the future, they will lend me money - if all is well for them financially.

I'm sure it'll be a good time. It's going to be a different trip than ones I've gone on before because it's only with one other person. Hopefully it'll be relaxing. Drinking to ensue. I hope that I remember to take pictures. I wish the other Canadians could come, but alas, they will probably be going in February, which I may be convinced to join them for.

All in all, my diet went to shit. Thanksgiving isn't stressing me out yet. Christmas is, because I have to buy gifts this year for the Mexican's family. I should probably get something for the Mexican too, or get him to agree to no gifts.

I watch too much TV. I talk to too many people via text, but haven't had a deep conversation in who knows how long. There's not much going on.

The end.

Jamaica debacle continued

I was out of it on Friday when I woke up. Max made breakfast and I was lazy as shit. Wayne left and I had to wait for him to come back because I had no idea how to get to my room.

I did the walk of shame in a pair of ripped silk harem pants and a sparkly gray top. I'm surprised I put on pants, because I don't think I put them on the night before to walk to Sugar's room, although I don't remember.

The night before - note sparkly top

Either way, I pretty much lazed around all day - I went out to the pool to meet up with the girls at some point and we went through the evening before. Sober me didn't choose sides. I kept saying over and over, I just don't understand how this thing with Khani can be so serious, and why didn't Paris come see Kim in the hospital or at least check on her.

In order for her to take her pain pills, Kim needed to eat though, so we decided to go get food. We were going to get burger king but it was packed. So we went to go get Pizza. Yeah, I live in the Pizza capital of the world, but that's what we decided to get in Jamaica. I don't know how, but we did. Anyway, we got the pizza and then went to go pick up some beer and more booze.

Kim decided she was feeling OK enough to at least go out one night I was there. We allowed her a few beers, and then we pre-gamed. I was carrying around a bottle of vodka and cranberry water for a while actually. The first place we went to was called Baywatch. They lost power after a few minutes of us being there and then we went to this place called John Crow's. Paris and Summer were there with Mona and Mina (all Chicagoans). I spoke to Paris briefly and then she was sitting with Kim basically yelling at her. I don't know anything they talked about (well I do now, because according to Paris, Kim kind of admitted she knew about Khani and that Paris had done the same thing with Keron back in April or whatever after knowing Kim and Keron were talking - I don't know if this is true, or care, but welcome to what Jamaican men are like...always creating problems). Khani kept going over to give things to Kim and I guess Kim was rubbing it in Paris' face? Not sure about that either because all I remember is going over, grabbing Khani and pulling him away from the table and telling him he needed to stop going over to the table, it was just adding fuel to the fire. See, I really was trying to help? I guess not enough though.

Then I blacked out. We went to a strip club - I only remember about 10 seconds of this though.

The next thing I remember is sex in the pool again, but going back to my room this time, because Ashley went back to Sugar's.

I woke up later that night to clean some of the apartment. I got into a bit of a tiff with Khani. I don't remember much, but I remember him grabbing my wrist for something...probably because I cut my hand on a broken glass and wouldn't show him that I was bleeding. I had a bruise on my wrist the next day. Asshole =(

I passed out after that, but we had to be up early-ish in the morning so we could go on this booze cruise.

I was a MESS. I was so tired and out of it and pretty much over the whole thing, but we got our acts together and went; Sugar, Max, Ashley and I. It was SWELTERING when we first go to the boat. We all literally wanted to peel off our skin. It was so gross. We waited about an hour and change for the rest of the boat to fill up. We just kind of hung around on the boat until it was time to get off and swim/snorkel in the sea. That was really pleasant, except I was tired and constantly fighting the tide. And everyone had to wear these big obnoxious floaties. Oh, and I was in starvation mode. I literally felt myself falling apart. I had to buy little boxes of pringles with a credit card, which was a hassle on its own!

Max relaxing

Sunbathing

We got back on the boat and it was a lot cooler - being wet and all. Then we arrived at Dunns River Falls, where I probably should've walked up the falls, but 1. I didn't have cash and I refused to deal with the credit card to buy shoes again, 2. I was so tired and out of it, I knew I'd fall and then I'd be the one in the hospital and 3. We could start drinking...so we did.

Bottom of Dunns River Falls

Ash and Sug were drinking rum punches (which I think are gross, because their rum is nasty there), and I was drinking red stripe. Max' friend Jade, challenged me to chugging contests. I never won, but I got really close. I beat another big white guy on the boat though. We were in the perfect spot on the boat because there was a window to the back of the bar that we could order through, and Jade kept the drinks flowing. I probably had 16 red stripes in an hour...no problem. Sug and Ash got pretty wasted. When I got back to the room, I was exhausted, and Ash was walking around being drunk and it was great.

Doing the cotten eye joe

Combining beers

She was dancing on the moving boat and didn't spill ONE drink

I could hardly eat the KFC that Khani and Ash went out and got for everyone, so I gave it to Jen (who was the one who got married on Wednesday). We got ready and didn't drink all that much because we had to be at Margaritaville by midnight. Wayne drank my to-go bottle.

Margaritaville was a blast. Jade met up with us and he was buying EVERYONE drinks. I was pretty boozed up, but not blacked out! By that point, it was just awkward between the two groups. They stood very close to us (and although Paris explains that's because that's where they ALWAYS stand) I just thought it was weird. I went over to talk to them though, but it was strange and after "how are you, are you having a good time" the conversation died. By this point, I found out they were mad at me, because they invited me to their room one of the nights before while I was blacked out and I never showed up, so they thought I had taken sides. I really tried not to, and I still hadn't up to that point. I had to talk Khani down from confronting Paris...good thing I did, no more violence was needed.

So much fun!

Either way, at the end of the night I went to go to the bathroom and Wayne caught up with me and asked me if I was going home with Jade. I told him I was and asked if he needed to get his bag from my room. He did, so I had Jade wait for me while I walked Wayne back to the room with Khani. Khani had gotten chicken for Kim and I took a piece and that started an argument so when we got to the room, he was upset and we continued to fight about something. I went to change into my pajamas while arguing and got my hand caught in the metal ceiling fan. Fucked up three of my fingers, but I guess it's nothing too serious, still hurts a bit though.

Anyway, I went home with Jade and we spent the night at his house. In the morning he took me back to the hotel and I was laying on the couch, waiting for my alarm to go off because I set it so that everyone could get up and get ready to leave...it never went off.

My phone was lost/stolen - whatever. I still think Wayne took it, but he says he didn't. Max caught up with him after we left and took him to the precinct and I guess he ran when he saw Max and said he would take him to the guy he sold the phone to, but his story changed. At this point, there's not much to say. I couldn't call JBike to come get me from the airport so I had to pay $40 to go home when I got back to the states. Also, I had to pay $500 for a new phone, which blows...really badly.

I need to get over it though, nothing can be done now. I'm not taking my blackberry to jamaica anymore. Paris warned me that it was going to get stolen and she was right - maybe it was Karma...like she thinks Kim's arm is.

Anyway, I was irritated but what could I do. We had to leave. We took the shuttle to the airport. The Canadian's flight was at 2:20, mine wasn't until 6. They wouldn't let me check in until 2. So basically I spent 6 hours in the airport with no phone just staring into space and FREEZING.

The flight was fine and it was nice to be home.

In the end, I made three good friends and lost two people.

The drama continued while I was home and when I went to Chicago, so stay tuned for my Chicago update.

I might go back and reformat these posts at some point. I have pictures, but I'm so blah about the whole thing nowadays that I feel no real motivation.

Just be happy you weren't involved (unless your Mo, in which case I'm sorry you got pulled into it)

October vacations and drama part 1.

 I thought I would be able to write all about my vacation today, but it stressed me out so badly earlier that I'm going to start, and if I can't finish until tomorrow/next week...it'll be ok.

I would give people "fake" names, but there are too many people involved that I would lose track and it's just not worth it.

Here's a preface to the preface: It has now been two weeks since I went to Jamaica, things have settled down a bit, but they got pretty bad. That being said, I now know all of the stories from everyone's perspective, so I'm a little less angry or on one side of the fence. I'm going to have to post this update in a bunch of different sections, because it's a mess. Chances are, I will throw in some commentary about what I now know/believe, versus what I believed at the time things happened...I hope this all makes sense.

Here's a little preface: Last year, at the end of July I went to the Caribbean Festival in Toronto called Caribana, where I met Kim and Ashley, who are from Canada. Paris, I know from Chicago through Mo and travels to Jamaica. I have talked to Kim occasionally throughout the year on BBM, and while we never really got close, I got a great vibe from her and we definitely wanted to hang out again. I had not spoken to Ashley in a year. When I was deciding to go to Jamaica, Paris was the one who finally convinced me to go.

I was hesitant because I would be going alone. She told me there was no way that she would be going, even though I begged her to come. I needed a vacation though, so I decided to meet up with Kim who would already be down in Jamaica. Paris talked it up for a million years it felt like. She told me all about the great times I would have, and where we went each night and all sorts of good stuff. Normally, I go to Montego Bay, but this time I would be making my first trip to Ocho Rios, a bit more country than Mo Bay, which is like a tourist town.

Ocho Rios is just about halfway between Mo Bay and the capital of Jamaica, Kingston. Kingston doesn't ever get a good reputation, but lo and behold, flying there is WAY cheaper. Thanks to tripadvisor, I also found a great bus that goes from New Kingston, to Ochie for really cheap. It would normally be like $150 USD to charter a taxi/shuttle from the Kingston airport to Ochie, but from New Kingston (about 20 minutes into town) it was $15 one way. I didn't want to risk missing my flight back, so I decided to fly out of Mo Bay with the Canadians on Sunday.

The Tuesday before I was set to leave, I get a message from Paris.

"Have you spoken to Kim?"

"No, I was going to message her tomorrow." I had spoken to her over the weekend and she just said to text when I was coming.

"She broke her arm in Jamaica."

"WHAT?!"

"Is she OK? Do you have anyone else's number down there? She was the only person whose number I had." She didn't help me.

Later that night I got a text from Ashley, Kim's sister, saying to text her when I got to Ochie. I asked how Kim was - she was still in the hospital. I was a bit freaked out, because I was going to be in Ochie before noon and I had to do all of this stuff that was brand new to me by myself.


I survived.

Other than wanting to kill this little girl who screamed the ENTIRE flight, it was fine. We got delayed an hour because Caribbean Airlines' main hub lost power and couldn't be contacted by air traffic control for clearance. I fell asleep 2 minutes after this announcement and didn't wake up again until our descent, where I got to hear the kid scream some more.

I was too tired/lazy to exchange my money for Jamaican at the airport, and I was also too lazy/tired to look for a city cab (red license plates), so I took JUTA (Jamaican United Transportation Association - I believe). It was a rip off. I only had American money, which they charge more in, and the driver had no more change. I ended up paying about $35 USD for a cab that should've been no more than $20, but I got to the bus station just fine, so that's ok.

I waited in the station talking to a Barbadian woman and watching a Jamaican kids game show.

The bus ride was great. I slept through it. The drive from Kingston to Ochie is through the hills, so it's very narrow and windy, and a bit scary. The bus had to honk around every turn to let the other drivers know he was coming.

I got to the station and texted Ashley. It was a five minute walk from the condo. Ashley and Khani (a 21 year old Jamaican guy - that turns out to be very important during this trip) come to retrieve me. I change clothes and we go to the hospital to see if Kim can get discharged.

Jamaican hospitals SUCK. It was really low amenities, third world type shit with ants in the bed, no TV, just weirdness. Not as clean as it should've been.

I got the whole story about her falling off of the back of a pick up truck and the other guy that got hurt (His name was Keron - or Karen, I still don't quite know the exact spelling, but it turns out that he plays a much bigger role in all of the drama than I thought. He was released from the hospital the day after the accident though, had some road rash on his face and chest, lost his nipple ring kind of thing but he looked ok when we saw him later on Thursday), and her horrific first night in the emergency room (10 hours on a board aka gurney, watching 6 people get stitched up from being stabbed, no AC), and how they let her go to her best friend's wedding for 6 hours with a nurse and gave her morphine shots in the ass while she was there. It was just awful. I felt so bad, but she seemed to be in OK spirits for just having had $8,000 USD emergency surgery that was almost refused to her because the doctor wouldn't do the surgery without money in hand, and so the insurance company had to call from Canada and give a credit card company. Bad, bad, bad. They also made her buy her own sling and medications before she could leave the hospital.

Sugar, Ashley, Jen and Kim with her broken arm

Anyway, we got her out at like 4pm when Sugar, the final Canadian (who I had heard about before but never met) and her boyfriend Max, came to pick us up. (Max was the driver of the pick up truck Kim fell off of - but it wasn't on purpose so it was overlooked.)

On the way back, Sugar told us that someone had seen Paris arrive. Now, Paris wasn't supposed to be there, but I was really excited she was. Little did I know the drama that was about to ensue.

I quickly learned that Khani was an instigator. He picked fights with Ashley whose nerves were completely frazzled from the whole situation. Basically, he acts like a little kid...but he cares, or at least acts like it. He's like a little brother, a really annoying little brother that creates a lot of problems. Still like the kid though.

Khani and Sugar

When we got back, we kind of hung out in the condo for a few hours, went to get some Jamaican food, ran all around Ochie doing god knows what, and then came back to get ready. Everyone was a bit upset that Paris never came over to check on Kim, nor did she call. Ok, maybe everyone was a little more than upset, and myself not knowing any of the situation at all, I was upset because Kim and Paris were supposed to be friends...I mean, Paris spent over a week talking Kim up and singing her praises, so why wouldn't she come to the hospital...don't worry, I'll get there.

I had brought a bottle of Absolut 100 with me. I wish I had brought two. Next time I will - I thought duty free might be open. Oh well. So we went out to this place called Amnesia that night, and boy is that an appropriate name because I don't remember much of it. What I do remember though, is Max buying a bottle of apple vodka (I chipped in) and me drinking a lot of it (actually I don't remember that, but I was told). Then Paris arrived.

She started trying to "talk" to me about the whole situation with Kim, but more so yell at me. I told her I didn't care about the history, or what was going on, I was just upset she let me flounder. What was explained to me though is that back in January, Paris met Khani and they hooked up. The next two times Paris went to Ochie this year, they hooked up. However, it was agreed by Khani, Mona (Paris' friend) and a bunch of other people that they were not together. When Kim had gotten to Jamaica, she met Khani. They hooked up. She didn't know that he had been with Paris. (I got to hear an entirely different backstory later - but that's for later)

Well, Paris felt some kind of way about this. She was FUMING. She started a fight with Ashley (according to Paris, Ashley is the one who approached her), who was just pissed/upset that Paris showed up and hadn't gone to see Kim in the hospital. She yelled at Sugar, who should have told Kim that Paris and Khani had hooked up, but just didn't get involved. She blamed Sugar for "everything" and she argued with Ashley for a while longer.

Looked like we had fun though?

Sug and Max "dancing"

I was blacked out at this point, more happened, but I wouldn't find out until the next day. Keep this in mind though, because this is all secondhand information. I am recounting the story that was told to me by the Canadians. Paris' story is quite different. In Paris' version, she went to Amnesia with the intention of talking to no one, but Ashley approached her. Once that started, hell broke loose. Apparently, I yelled at her multiple times in the Canadians' defense. I still don't know to this day if Kim knew about Khani and Paris being together, or if she didn't until it was already too late. Look, it doesn't really matter, because in my mind, guys shouldn't get in the way of friendships, especially Jamaican guys. The stance I took was that I didn't understand why this guy was so important. From Paris' perspective, it wasn't that he was important, it was that she feels like Kim pretty much betrayed her, and knew about her and Khani and didn't care or have enough respect for Paris not to sleep with him. She also felt that Kim was being spiteful over something that happened with Keron.

Reminder: I was completely blacked out at this point, so not only do I not know what Paris' story is until the next week, I don't remember anything that happened, nor do I remember defending the Canadians and picking sides.

I come out of my blackout having sex in the pool at the condo. It was my idea. I re-black out.

I remember Khani stealing my clothes, and me telling him that I was going to beat his ass if he didn't bring them back...so he did. I didn't realize he thought this was actually a real threat, which it might've been...

The next thing I remember is having sex on the couch in Sugar's condo.

Then I wake up the next morning.

Here's what happened when I was blacked out:

At Amnesia:

• I YELLED at Khani, telling him it was all his fault that everyone was fighting. I told him I would fuck him up if he wasn't a child. I smacked him, backhanded him and smacked him again in the face. Then I somehow got him kicked out of the club
• Summer, Paris' best friend from Chicago, got into an altercation with Max, Sugar's boyfriend. Max is known to have a temper. She really shouldn't have fucked with him , but she yanked his chain off his neck. He smashed her head against the table.(According to Paris and Summer, what happened was is that Max was instigating actually, kind of "harassing" Paris and then something happened and he charged at her. At this point, Summer got in the way, putting her arm up to protect Paris and that pushing Max away action, prompted him to hit her). All I know is that when we got home, Summer took everything too goddamn far and out of everyone, she's the only one I'm mad at. Oh and she thinks I need to go to AA, doesn't believe I was blacked out, thinks I watched Max hit her and did nothing about it, and that I'm condoning his behavior by still being friends with him...there's more, but I don't even want to waste my words on her.
• Summer pressed charges against Max and the police came to get him from Sugar's room (where I was asleep) in the middle of the night. The guy I had sex with, Wayne (not his real name), went with her to get him out. Apparently it took about 15 minutes and nothing further was done (don't worry, Summer decided to go back to the station once the Canadians and I left, in order to make a complaint against the police for not doing more - however, it turns out she did go to the hospital, so if I had known I would've gone to see her. I try not to be a hypocrite)

Thus concluding day 1 of my Jamaican adventure.

A lot to talk about...

Tomorrow I will have time to update you on my recent vacation to Jamaica. It's not something I'll soon forget for better or for worse. Here's a list of what I lost and what I gained there.

Gained:

• A possibly fractured finger and three cuts
• A million bruises
• Three great friends
• More Jamaican "friends"
• Memories up the wazoo

Lost:

• Dignity
• Cell phone (well it was stolen and might be recovered)
• Some respect for a few people

Trust me, you'll hear more about all of it tomorrow. Ridiculous!

I thought vacations were supposed to relieve stress

I'm being selfish, and slightly freaking out.

At 2:20am, tomorrow morning, I will be on a flight going to Kingston, Jamaica. There I will take a cab into New Kingston, get on a bus at 9:30am and arrive in Ocho Rios just before noon.

My friend Kim was supposed to come with her friend to pick me up from the bus stop. We are sharing a hotel room, she's been there for 10 days already. There are a lot of other people there too, including her sister (whom I have met once), but other than that...no one I know.

I got a call this morning from the ring leader of my Chicago/Canadian group of friends (and the organizer of all things Jamaica), telling me that Kim...is in the hospital. She had surgery yesterday, and they are only releasing her today for the wedding, but she will be going back to the hospital tomorrow.

She broke her hand in Jamaica. She fell off the back of a pick up truck. 

I'm freaking out a little bit. I was already nervous about taking this whole thing on by myself, but now my only lifeline has sunk herself. This makes me selfish. I obviously care what's going on with Kim, but I'm also worried about myself.

I currently have something like the flu. Turns out those hives from Saturday, are just part of the viral infection that my body is currently fostering.

I spent some of last night curled in fetal position on the floor of my bathroom after vomiting up my life. Yes, I laid in bed with a bit of vomit in my hair before I took a shower because I was that miserable.

I managed to finish packing though, and made it to my job by 8am this morning, just to find out that the maintenance man didn't arrive until 8:30. I'm in desperate need of meds. I'm "praying" that this congestion doesn't get worse before I get on the plane, or I'm in for a really really shitty night/morning.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that I will be in Jamaica at this time tomorrow; the boulder blocking that light is that I actually have to make it there in one piece. I wish I wasn't going to get ripped on in the cabs. I wish that everything would not be falling apart.

I wish I had more money in my bank account, but I lent JBike $860. I wish that Steel Pans' phone didn't get cut off, because it freaked me out into thinking that yet again I wouldn't get my money back.

My stomach hurts. My face hurts (with a really good red dot in the middle of my right cheek). I just want a nap. I don't want to be here.

I want to be coddled (and I never want to be coddled). I'm being a baby. A baby that better grow the fuck up in the next 12 or so hours, because that's when I'll be heading the the airport to take on Jamaica by myself.

Cross your fingers for me. For what, I don't know. Just cross them.

I kind of feel like a John

Because I lent my "booty call" $400.

I'm too nice. Steel Pans was in a bit of a pickle where his license was suspended until he could pay $1,000 and he can't work without a license, hence the pickle. I covered the balance after he scraped together what he could. I'm probably too nice.

I've spent an incredible amount of money in the past two weeks. It's a bit sick, but about $700 of that went to vacation. I'm really excited to go to Chicago for Halloween and Jamaica for...well, because it's Jamaica and the Canadians will be there. I just need a break, I swear. I love how I act like my life is so rough and I constantly need a vacation. I'm such a baby about it.

Anyway, I'll suck it up and move on with my life.

I went to Honey last night. I wasn't going to. I even went to the gym first, but Feathers convinced me to go. If someone goes, then I go. I actually bet this guy Kirk (a real d-bag) $100 bucks that they would give me the outside table before him...and he "promotes there". I'm cooler though. They like me more. I'm going to win next week - if we go.

We had tacos and tostadas from this amazing truck right by Honey and it was brilliant. So delish. Didn't go with my diet though. Oh yeah, I'm on one of those. Watching what I'm eating, going to the gym more often, pushing myself harder when I'm there. It was going fine until last night and the three dinners/two carafes of cosmos.

That's nothing though. I got everyone shnockered last Thursday in honor of Mo's arrival. Most people ended up sick. I spent another $200. It's fine. I just need to stop "keeping them coming" when I start drinking. I'm a bottomless cosmo pit. I feel a touch bad because I blacked out for part of the evening, but at least I remembered to tell Mo where I lived...so I could pass out on the train. Yeah, I'm classy like that. I woke up BEFORE our stop though, so that worked out brilliantly.

We didn't do anything during the day on Friday and that was great. It rained and we watched TV. I need another day like that because starting on Friday night, we were going non-stop pretty much.

We went out to dinner in Union Square and then whilst drinking left over booze from Honey on Thursday (one of my fave parts of Friday mornings is going through my bag from the night before and seeing what goodies I've managed to stuff in my bag - I was not disappointed last Friday with a big bottle of cosmos and one of pom-apple martinis.)

Anyway, we walked up to Taj and we were super early, so we just kind of hung around and drank. A crazy homeless man called us lesbian prostitutes. It was funny because Mo was all "we can't stand on the corner because we'll look like hookers" and then we moved away from the corner....and lo and behold, we got called hookers. Then we went to sit in the bank and drink, and a homeless man decided that's where he was going to sleep that night. We had bad bum luck that night.

We got to Taj right before midnight and got two for one drinks. I had four drinks at once. It was pretty glorious. Good time overall. The train home was kind of a bummer because my train wasn't working...more about this later.

Honestly, I don't feel like writing anymore right now. You'll have to wait until Monday (or later next week) for more updates on my life.

I know I've been MIA

I have a lot to say, but I have no time. For now I'll just let you know what I WILL be talking about in the future (which will remind me to actually blog):

Mo's trip to NYC
Steel Pans situation
Booking October vacations

Well that's pretty much it...but there's a lot of material there. So stay tuned!

Day 6: Oh the places we will go...

I thought about choosing just PLACES, like my home, or work, or the Stumble Inn, or Honey, but I've decided that I will list the places that I have been in the past 3 years, with a little memory from each...in no particular order.

1. Jamaica (will be there for new years)

Jamaica has to be number one (after this, no particular order). This country will always have a place in my heart, and although I've only ever been to Montego Bay there's something magical about the place. Honestly, for such an impoverished place with such a corrupt government, the people really know how to have a good time. I've had my fair share of mishaps and misfortunes with Jamaicans, but I also have an arsenal of amazing memories.

-Walking around Margaritaville getting drinks from one person and giving them to another person. In fact, let's just put Margaritaville on the list of places I am in love with
-Sitting on the rock wall by Pier One while an 11 year old boy watched me force myself to throw up, and then somehow getting into the club before all of my friends who I thought I was following.
-B and the girls dancing on the red carpet
-The dumpling that saved my life after I drank too much and almost missed breakfast
-Glitters, the shitty little club at the Decameron that was always the best place to get shithoused before going out.
-Running into the lobby to see our luggage arrive two days late, but yet it made everything a million times better
-Translating Canadian French for Mo while everyone was completely drunk
-Pictures in the lobby bathroom
-Everything else...

2. Chicago (will return again shortly)

I have a million memories from Chicago since I lived there for just over a year. This city is one that I could live in forever. I could uproot my life and go there because it felt like home almost immediately, and I loved every person I met there.

-The first dinner where I met Mo
-Dancing at the Butterfly Bar
-Baking for everyone at RFUMS
-Study sessions with Mallory in the grad office
-Mo Baybay's baby shower
-Visiting the Bean and museum with Cynthia
-Teaching Cynthia to drive
-Six Flags Great America
-Driving to Kenosha in the morning blasting Fresh and singing with the windows rolled down
-Lunch with all the grad students and research techs
-Late night on the beach in Evanston with Will...etc

3. Philadelphia (need to visit as soon as my friend feels better)

When the girls and I met T in Jamaica, we knew it would be a great friendship. B and I had a blast when we went down to visit. Starting to drink as soon as we got there at 3pm (hadn't done that since the last trip to Jamaica). Meeting all sorts of new people. Dancing and just having a good time. I feel like I should go to Philly more, because it's so close and it's always such a blast.


-Stealing someone's food and getting into an argument over it
-Playing Spades with all the boys
-Making Dacquiris that gave me an allergic reaction
-Being wasted and waking up in my pajamas not knowing how I got in them
-Hanging on the porch with T (not T mentioned before - but other T)
-Cyphering with the young boys in the basement
-Visiting the Liberty Bell with Kevin (RIP)
-The Philly linedancing (bring it back, bring it back, bring it back)
-Cheesesteaks
-Just enjoying the company of B, T and everyone else

4. Bermuda

Jared and I hadn't seen each other in almost a year, since he lives in Austin. We had never been on a cruise and missed living together from college. He will always be a great friend, even if I don't see him or talk to him very often. Bermuda was beautiful. The weather was perfect (if not a little chilly), the boat was gorgeous and the people we met were great. I would definitely cruise again.



-Meeting Melissa and Rick and having fantastic dinners
-Hot tub on the deck at 3am
-Sex on a beach chair at yet another open air club (wish I remembered his name)
-Being shwasted and then hungover on the boat the next day
-Swimming with the dolphins and snorkeling
-Just spending time with Jared and having a good time

5. Vegas (will return in November)

I was living in Chicago at the time I went to Vegas. Hadn't see my best friends from college in almost a year and it was just a great way to get together and party it up. Seriously a great city to spend the weekend in with good friends and have a good time. I'm excited to go back soon!


-Brunch with Jac, Jar and Kris in Caesar's Palace (I think)
-Laughing at the TI show
-Being complete tourists and riding the roller coaster on NY, NY and all of the Stratosphere rides
-Partying it up at the Pussycat Dolls club (shots of tequila)
-Winning $11
-Being exhausted from just walking around everywhere
-Hearing Bruises by Chairlift every time we walked down the strip on the iPod commercial
-Buffet at Paris
-Cirque Du Soleil blowing my mind
-Just spending time with my two best friends from college and living it up

6. South Beach

I wasn't originally going to go to SoBe, but two weeks before the trip, I agreed to go celebrate Paris' birthday and I don't regret it. We had so much fun, and I was just trying to make the best of being in Florida and I think I succeeded. I might've lost all of my crucial belongings (ID, credit card and phone), but I still wouldn't trade it for the world. We just had an amazing time and I can't wait to live it up with my girls again.

-Relaxing on the beach with the ladies
-Cuban Sandwiches
-Being wasted at Mansion and Cameo (minus losing all of my stuff)
-Sex in Cameo with no shame after smoking a black and mild (which sucked)
-Sleeping everywhere when the ladies when to go eat
-Picking up a stray on the street
-Hearing lots of nookie going down
-Just enjoying the company of the girls and living it up!

Bullet point recap: worst vacation ever and stressful birthday surprises

Dearest followers, I know I have been delinquent lately, so I'm going to try and sum up the past two weeks of my life in bullet point format.

I just realized that I haven't updated since August 1st. Damn do I have a lot to get through.

Week of August 1:
I don't remember anything that happened up until Honey Thursday.


Thursday:

• You might remember that I led the owner of Honey on in a charade where he thought he would get into my pants in exchange for driving me home. Well folks, I must be awesome because he said he wasn't mad at me and thus, I win.
• I made out with the short bathroom attendant. The same one that squeezed my butt the week before.

 Friday

• B was supposed to be busy the first weekend in August because it was her on again/off again boo's birthday, but he went to Vegas.
• BiL decided two weeks prior that he was going to have this gigantic cookout where there would be tons and tons of basketball eye candy/meat and great food.
• Unfortunately, I had agreed to go to PA with Niokka a few weeks prior due to B not being in town and BiL taking his sweet as time in making arrangements for the cookout.
• I took Friday off to take a bus to Gettysburg, PA (5 hours) after stressing about packing all week and being yelled at by Niokka for stressing her out when she was studying for finals. Mind you, she was the only person I knew going and was telling me all sorts of random stuff about what I was supposed to do, last minute.



Please note how far Gettysburg is from NYC

• I dragged my ass to DeKalb Avenue to be at the bus before 9:30am, I was there at 9am where I met Niokka's friend Jazmeen.

• I was constantly debating not getting on the bus (and I probably shouldn't have) because of the cookout and because Gettysburg was so far away, but after a lot of debating, we finally located the bus (incredibly late) and were on our way to the Bronx the pick up the other group of people.
• There were a lot of other people waiting for buses, some attractive, some "not so"...most of the "not so"'s got on our bus. This was a bad sign. Also, there was a lot of drinking planned for the bus ride. Mind you, it was well before noon.
• Not in such a great mood, I tried to suck it up and rest. We got to the BX and Niokka and Joanne got on the bus. The rest of the ride was filled with drinking a lot of random mixed drinks and Jello shots. It took forever to get to the hotel.



Yummy jello shots.

• We got to the hotel and pretty much everything was canceled. There was supposed to be a BBQ (what we would be having for dinner) but the organizer didn't check if they could use an indoor grill (which they could not) so that was canceled. There was supposed to be Karaoke, but the machine was broken. There was supposed to be a "male revue", but the one stripper never showed up. The DJ that was supposed to be playing music at all of the parties, bailed last minute. Basically it was bad news all around.
• I cursed out the organizer, as did a bunch of other people. Mind you, he wasn't even supposed to be the go-to person, his wife was, but supposedly she sprained her ankle the night before.
• I was pissed, everyone was wandering around aimlessly and it was just a mess. I kept kicking myself for getting on the damn bus. I could've stayed home and not taken off a day for all of that...it gets worse.
• The one highlight was that I was with Joanne and some guy (Anthony) started talking to her and the guy was with his cousin (Senio), who I started chatting with. We ended up hooking up a few times, I'll see him again in a few weeks (and I'll tell you why the delay - note, the knee).
• Anyway, Senio and I hooked up that night, I went back to my room, showered, met back up with my friends and partied a bit. Hung out by the pool, had another guy hit on me who worked at the hotel, but he got me confused with someone else, so I walked away from him. 
• Senio texted me to come back to his room to sleep, so I went back and his cousin was trying to sleep. So I basically held off his advances, but his cousin "left" and well...we got it on again. Magically, as soon as we were done, Anthony re-appeared. Now mind you, this would be a little awkward to begin with, but it gets more awkward. Senio goes to lay down and kind of passed out. I'm sitting on the foot of the bed, between his legs and Anthony and I start talking. He mentions that he saw what I did. Awkward moment number 2. Then he asks if I've ever had a threesome. Now why would I lie? So I tell him yes. He asks if I would have one with him and Senio. WTF?! Awkward 3. I say "no, not interested". He says "so would you have a threesome...without him?" and I say "so basically you're asking if I would fuck you? no." At this point, Senio wakes up and is all "what's this talk about a threesome?" and I said "your cousin just asked if I would fuck him." and Senio does the cutest thing he goes "really man?" and sits up, wraps his arms around me and pulls me down next to him to cuddle. Then we go to bed.



A creeper!

Saturday:

• My "friends" get me from Senio's room for breakfast. We go eat and then hear that all of the stuff they talked about being available to do during the day was all for winter trips and there would be no laser tag, shopping, anything...so we make our own fun.
• They play strip blackjack and then dare or double dare. Details will not be disclosed.
• We all get ready to go to crabfest in Maryland an hour and a half away.
• We need more alcohol.
• We get to crabfest and eat a lot. I don't start drinking until later in the evening, and this is the beginning of the end.



This picture was not taken by me, but you get the point.

• Niokka basically treats me like a dog and gets pissed when I won't get her more shrimp. She yells at me and I'm fed up. I slowly start to get over it.
• Joanne and I go buy bottles of alcohol from a lovely old lady who owns the bar next door to the place we're at.
• As soon as we get back I get on line for free drinks. I get two for myself, since they're my first and then I'm told they don't have any more of the punch the other girls are drinking so Niokka says to get them shots, so I get shots for everyone, or as many as they'll let me. I can't carry them all, so Niokka takes my drinks to the table. I guess she thought they were her drinks because she adds one to her cup and Jazmeen's cup, and I don't know what she does with my other one so I get back and I'm asking where my drinks are. Of course she gets mad at me because she thinks I'm being selfish...yadda yadda. She gets pissed and so do I. So I sit with my drinks and she walks away.
• I have an allergic reaction to something so my skin is all red and blotchy and hot and I look angry. Senio thinks I'm mad at him, but I confirm this is not the case.



Similar to when I was in Philly, I don't know if you can see the redness of my face and chest

• There is a concert of some sort, but I'm too furious to really care. I take the shots back to the hotel with me.
• We head back to the hotel and I almost get into it with the organizer again because he's trying to treat me like a child because everyone is being babies and arguing about who is supposed to sit where (not me, mind you...but I do have a problem with this guy AND HE'S SO UGLY).
• When we get back everyone naps and showers and gets ready for the "white party". I go meet up with Senio and take care of business, and of course, as I turn the corner to go into the bathroom, Anthony magically appears. It's a little creepy actually.
• I drink the mixed drink that I made at crabfest, very quickly. We get into bathing suits and we go dance in the hottub.

Sunday:

• The next part is a touch fuzzy. I know I disappeared with some guy and he took me back to his room. I think I was being kind of a playful asshole and he got fed up with me, so we went back to the pool...
• As soon as I got back to the pool, I slipped. I slipped on the wet pool deck and guess what. My whole entire knee opened up again. I WAS FURIOUS. What should've been a little bump on the knee with a bruise for anyone, was a completely down to the bone open wound for me. I didn't want help though. I didn't want to go to the hospital. I didn't want the gurney. I didn't want it to be a big deal. I did this back in December, I knew what was going on but no one else seemed to. They wrapped my knee up with towels. I kept telling everyone to stop helping me, stop trying to move me, just stop. The EMT comes and I tell him I just need stitches and I don't want to go to the hospital. They tell me I need to. I keep telling everyone to stop. Niokka goes "Fuck her then" and I must've responded with "Fuck you too". There was more yelling and one of the EMTs tells me that if I don't shut up, in the state of PA they can charge me for something or other. I stop talking and give up at this point. I'm not even crying, I'm just mad. They take me out on a gurney. They shut down the pool party. I tell the girls I'm with that I don't need any of them to come to the hospital with me. I guess I don't clarify by saying that it's because I don't want to ruin their night, that was a mistake. Niokka continues to yell at me. Jazmeen and Joanne try to help me, and I just ask them to pack my stuff because we're leaving in the morning.



Swollen with new stitches...

• I get to the hospital. I convince them I only need basic xrays because there's no bone damage. They tell me it's a bad laceration. I get 18 stitches. I find out that I actually got there at 6:30am. At 9:30ish, the hotel people come to pick me up and say that they called the cops on my friends. I don't know why. All I know is that I've got a set of HATEFUL BBM messages in my phone from Niokka wishing all of this terrible shit on me because of nothing I could control.I get back to the hotel, finish packing my stuff in silence. I literally talk to no one because Niokka purposely tries to make me feel like shit by talking loudly on the phone in the room next door (adjoined rooms with the connecting door open) about how she wishes me dead and all of this stuff. I still have no clue why or what happened but we will never speak again, that's for sure.
• We get onto the bus. I'm missing part of my kindle charger, my outfit from the night before (I went to the ER in a bathing suit) and my flip flops. I don't talk to anyone except when they ask if I'm ok.
• I pop a percocet and we head to the casino an hour or so later.
• My dad picks me up, thus concluding the trip from hell.

The BBMs: 

Niokka got B involved because she's the one that introduced us. We were both talking about it for two days. I am finally over it. It created a little tension with B and I though because I was upset that she was still buddy buddy with Niokka after knowing that Niokka wished me dead and was serious as cancer about it. On Thursday, we had a big conversation about our friendship and the whole situation...

Monday and Tuesday I took off of work. Tuesday night I went to Buffalo Wild Wings with B.

Wednesday I went to the movies to see the Help with the Mexican and his friend Rodderick, who lives a block away from me. He's cute and nice. It was fun. We went to a diner afterward and I definitely walked around too much. My doctor told me to stop bending my knee....I'm not doing a good job.

Thursday

• Against better judgment, I went to Honey
• B and Feather were there, or came later.
• I drank a lot even though I'm on antibiotics (I looked them up, no instruction not to)
• There was a lot of drama outside but somehow we were inside for a while
• I officially am a  hookah smoker. It's bad. Had the worst flavor, bubblegum mint. I'm going to have to talk to Manny about never getting that again.



Sad but true about me and hookah :(

• I made out with the other bathroom attendant...in the locked bathroom. It could've gone further, but thank god it didn't. I guess I just have a thing for the boys downstairs.
• B's birthday was on Sunday so we started celebrating that night.
• I spent $200 again. I don't know how, but the bill said something like 28 happy hour drinks between the 4 of us.
• We were going to go to this place called the Polar Bear at around 10pm with the waitress because Feather's friend was having an open bar, but we didn't end up going and ended up back in Honey. Just can't get away! I swear!
• I don't remember carrying around my bag, but I must've been. Weird.

Friday:

• I took off from work again because I needed to go get drinks for B's bbq and I didn't feel like going.
• I went to the drink depot and at the request of T, I got way more than I needed to. I spent $369 on just beverages for the cookout.
• Then I slept.

Saturday

• I woke up and wanted to be lazy, but I wasn't.
• I got myself together and drove to Bushwick to pick up Delka and the cake.
• The cake was late. We were still in Brooklyn around 3ish.
• I drove to the park. We couldn't figure out how to drive up to the cookout, because we couldn't!
• T and Delka had to go back and forth about 6 times bringing the drinks in shopping carts across this stupid long bridge over to the cookout.

• 

  B and the delayed cake

• I told T to leave some of the drinks in my car, but she still took most of them so at the end of the night we had to bring them back when it was drizzling
• I was BBMing with B and was selling her on the fact that she was still going to a beach party. When she arrived, she was really excited and she cried. So surprised. Sadly, Niokka brought her, which was a little awkward for me at first, but I decided just to ignore it.
• I couldn't drink anything but beer because I was driving and the beer was doing nothing for me. 
• It was a good time anyway, and B had a good time, that's all that matters.
• Oh, and some guy stole my entire case of Heineken.
• We went back to B's house after the cookout and I napped.
• It was raining, but we still left the house at around 1:30am.
• The 6 train went express and skipped our stop, so we tried to get out at Brooklyn Bridge to hail a cab...in the pouring rain.



Rain on the train

• No cabs stopped, I was soaked.
• We got onto a local 6 going uptown and got locked in and missed the 4 train.
• We arrived at the loft party at around 3am, partied for an hour and then went back home.
• I wish I could've danced more, but I've been really mistreating my knee.

Sunday:

• B's mom made us breakfast and we chit chatted.
• I left around 2pm and went back to Brooklyn
• This new guy (Terron) I'm talking to came over on Sunday night and we cuddled and watched the Hangover and he's totally into me and a super sweetheart.
• I may or may not have a tiny hickey on my neck.
• I kind of blew off Steel Pans...oh well

Monday:

• Going to see the Glee movie with the Mexican tonight and then maybe more snuggle time. I love having my back rubbed. Winner!
• I'm probably going to Jamaica for the new year and this makes me really excited.