All's quiet on the Eastern front

My emotional breakdown has passed.

I'm not miserable, my room is cleaner and I feel more like an adult. I gave myself a week to sulk and wallow, it's done now.

Football pretty much ruined my Sunday. Fuck the Giants, that's all I have to say. It's painful being a New Yorker and a Giants hater sometimes. It was pretty hard watching the 49ers fall apart yesterday, almost as hard as watching the Ravens blow the win. Bummer for the kicker.

I have come to a calm point with EPT. Que sera sera. I'm just letting what will be, be. It's way better that way.

That being said, I owe him a damn bottle of vodka because the Giants won yesterday. Bittersweet, because we will probably share the bottle, but I'm still pissed at the 49ers.

I went shopping a lot last week. All of my sparkly shirts, arrived. I'm wearing one today. Pretty excited. Going to return one of them, maybe two, otherwise, my wardrobe now shines! I also have 170 other shirts that I can wear at any given time. It's pretty sick actually. More than "pretty sick" it's an obsession. I went to Arden B and bought 5 new shirts/dresses on Monday.

I went to Children's place and bought baby clothes for the million baby girls that have been/will be born in the near future.

I went to this jewelry store and got myself 6 new bracelets. I'm currently wearing one of them, which I think is a step in the right direction. I paid my credit card bill and still have a little money, so maybe things aren't that bad.

I have a dinner and a movie date tonight. Things are looking up, although not WAY up.

My birthday is still on Tuesday, and I'm still getting a little sad about that. One of the Canadians is coming into town on Friday though so I'm pretty happy about that. I will be doing stuff this weekend.

I briefly toyed with the idea of going to Philly on Saturday because one of my "friends" from Philly that I met in Jamaica two years ago, invited B and I down there for a family dinner. We had fun last time, but in the midst of planning to go down there, I heard that she had been speaking to B about my behavior down there and how she was upset.

I must admit, I did something really fucking stupid the first time I was there, but as soon as my blackout drunk ass realized what was happening, I put the kibosh on the situation. I apologized to her last weekend (it was a part of my mental break down). However, I learned during the week that she was upset about what I did the second time I was there, but we seem to have differing memories as to what happened and while she responded to my apology, she didn't respond to my message wondering why she didn't just come to me with her issues with me, and asking her to call me so we could clear up what actually happened when I was out there. I'm really tired of people always going to B first. If you have a problem with me, man the fuck up and talk to ME about it. She is not my mom, my therapist, or my bodyguard, STOP INVOLVING HER.

Everyone fucking does that. It's really irritating and creates a lot of he said she said. I'd rather hear directly from the source what the issue is, I'm adult enough to handle it. I'm also adult enough to admit when I'm wrong and apologize if I am/was.

All in all, I'm not going to Philly this weekend. I'm sad that I won't get to go to Wines and Spirits, because I would really like some cheap liquor, but whatever. I should keep myself out of stupid situations that I know will come back to bite me in the ass A YEAR later, right?

Maybe I am still a bit bitter about all of this. I might send her another message today. I'll keep you updated.

Day 6: Oh the places we will go...

I thought about choosing just PLACES, like my home, or work, or the Stumble Inn, or Honey, but I've decided that I will list the places that I have been in the past 3 years, with a little memory from each...in no particular order.

1. Jamaica (will be there for new years)

Jamaica has to be number one (after this, no particular order). This country will always have a place in my heart, and although I've only ever been to Montego Bay there's something magical about the place. Honestly, for such an impoverished place with such a corrupt government, the people really know how to have a good time. I've had my fair share of mishaps and misfortunes with Jamaicans, but I also have an arsenal of amazing memories.

-Walking around Margaritaville getting drinks from one person and giving them to another person. In fact, let's just put Margaritaville on the list of places I am in love with
-Sitting on the rock wall by Pier One while an 11 year old boy watched me force myself to throw up, and then somehow getting into the club before all of my friends who I thought I was following.
-B and the girls dancing on the red carpet
-The dumpling that saved my life after I drank too much and almost missed breakfast
-Glitters, the shitty little club at the Decameron that was always the best place to get shithoused before going out.
-Running into the lobby to see our luggage arrive two days late, but yet it made everything a million times better
-Translating Canadian French for Mo while everyone was completely drunk
-Pictures in the lobby bathroom
-Everything else...

2. Chicago (will return again shortly)

I have a million memories from Chicago since I lived there for just over a year. This city is one that I could live in forever. I could uproot my life and go there because it felt like home almost immediately, and I loved every person I met there.

-The first dinner where I met Mo
-Dancing at the Butterfly Bar
-Baking for everyone at RFUMS
-Study sessions with Mallory in the grad office
-Mo Baybay's baby shower
-Visiting the Bean and museum with Cynthia
-Teaching Cynthia to drive
-Six Flags Great America
-Driving to Kenosha in the morning blasting Fresh and singing with the windows rolled down
-Lunch with all the grad students and research techs
-Late night on the beach in Evanston with Will...etc

3. Philadelphia (need to visit as soon as my friend feels better)

When the girls and I met T in Jamaica, we knew it would be a great friendship. B and I had a blast when we went down to visit. Starting to drink as soon as we got there at 3pm (hadn't done that since the last trip to Jamaica). Meeting all sorts of new people. Dancing and just having a good time. I feel like I should go to Philly more, because it's so close and it's always such a blast.


-Stealing someone's food and getting into an argument over it
-Playing Spades with all the boys
-Making Dacquiris that gave me an allergic reaction
-Being wasted and waking up in my pajamas not knowing how I got in them
-Hanging on the porch with T (not T mentioned before - but other T)
-Cyphering with the young boys in the basement
-Visiting the Liberty Bell with Kevin (RIP)
-The Philly linedancing (bring it back, bring it back, bring it back)
-Cheesesteaks
-Just enjoying the company of B, T and everyone else

4. Bermuda

Jared and I hadn't seen each other in almost a year, since he lives in Austin. We had never been on a cruise and missed living together from college. He will always be a great friend, even if I don't see him or talk to him very often. Bermuda was beautiful. The weather was perfect (if not a little chilly), the boat was gorgeous and the people we met were great. I would definitely cruise again.



-Meeting Melissa and Rick and having fantastic dinners
-Hot tub on the deck at 3am
-Sex on a beach chair at yet another open air club (wish I remembered his name)
-Being shwasted and then hungover on the boat the next day
-Swimming with the dolphins and snorkeling
-Just spending time with Jared and having a good time

5. Vegas (will return in November)

I was living in Chicago at the time I went to Vegas. Hadn't see my best friends from college in almost a year and it was just a great way to get together and party it up. Seriously a great city to spend the weekend in with good friends and have a good time. I'm excited to go back soon!


-Brunch with Jac, Jar and Kris in Caesar's Palace (I think)
-Laughing at the TI show
-Being complete tourists and riding the roller coaster on NY, NY and all of the Stratosphere rides
-Partying it up at the Pussycat Dolls club (shots of tequila)
-Winning $11
-Being exhausted from just walking around everywhere
-Hearing Bruises by Chairlift every time we walked down the strip on the iPod commercial
-Buffet at Paris
-Cirque Du Soleil blowing my mind
-Just spending time with my two best friends from college and living it up

6. South Beach

I wasn't originally going to go to SoBe, but two weeks before the trip, I agreed to go celebrate Paris' birthday and I don't regret it. We had so much fun, and I was just trying to make the best of being in Florida and I think I succeeded. I might've lost all of my crucial belongings (ID, credit card and phone), but I still wouldn't trade it for the world. We just had an amazing time and I can't wait to live it up with my girls again.

-Relaxing on the beach with the ladies
-Cuban Sandwiches
-Being wasted at Mansion and Cameo (minus losing all of my stuff)
-Sex in Cameo with no shame after smoking a black and mild (which sucked)
-Sleeping everywhere when the ladies when to go eat
-Picking up a stray on the street
-Hearing lots of nookie going down
-Just enjoying the company of the girls and living it up!