It's not really OK..

Link up with Amber and Neely

It's OK...

That I'm eating Broccoli Cheddar soup for breakfast because I couldn't make a goddamn soup selection at lunch yesterday - so I bought three kinds

That I've spoken to 6 T-Mobile, 2 Blackberry and 4 Expedia customer service reps in the past two weeks, and I've just about had it up to here, with those people. (This is not actually OK, but I'm trying to breathe about it) - UPDATE: They're sending me a new phone tomorrow - Thank you, Jerry. You're the only one who has made the wise decision to just stop dealing with me altogether.

That I've almost broken down into tears of frustration three times while lashing out at said customer service people.

That I slept in today because I just didn't feel like getting up at 7:20am.

That my love for Express pants is officially over, as they have a shelf life of about a year before SOMETHING goes wrong with them (lost the inside button on my pants about 10 minutes ago)

That I will be packing and re-packing this weekend because Jamaica is only 5 and a half days away.

That I've convinced my friend to let me be her youngest daughter's godmother...and that she probably doesn't think I'm DEAD serious about this. That little girl is precious.

That I haven't talked to my own godparents yet about seeing/staying with them in Florida in a few weeks.

That I'm excited to rent a car without having to pay extra fees because I'm 25!

That car rental is the only reason I'm excited to be 25.

That I get to see my friend's new baby on Saturday and I have to get a gift (YAY) and stop being lazy (BOO)

That my nails are bright pink, and I would show you a picture I took on my phone but my facebook isn't activated yet because I just had to reboot my whole damn phone.

To have, and I shit you not, 40 books on my Kindle and yet feel so inclined to purchase YET ANOTHER. (50 Shades of Grey, here I come)

That I actually grew balls and told my boss that if I was going to be taking on even more jobs, that I wanted to be compensated for my efforts (I smell a raise, and it smells like freshly baked bread and just-mowed grass)

I lied - it is OK (Thursday)

It's OK...

• To watch an episode of Spartacus on the Q train on someone else's iPad
• To use friends as therapists from time to time
• To need closure - there's nothing wrong with that!
• To plan to see Hunger Games on Monday because crowded theaters are stupid
• To have had at least 15 beers last night for dollar beer night
• To "suntan" through an office window because it's beautiful outside
• To be bloated - as long as it's temporary
• To have considered flying to Chicago for one day this weekend just to see people (and go to the movies with Mo)
• To take free lunch from the office, even without going to the conference it's for
• To be excited for vacation in 13 days
• To rip the tags out of shirts because they're scratchy
• To run into old college dorm neighbors/old football team members and give them desserts
• To act baking incompetent so that it feels like a dessert making class was worth it (it was not - I should've been at Blockheads sipping on cheap bulldogs and eating Mexican food with a bunch of friends, enjoying the weather)

It's not OK that the hem on most of my work pants have all fallen this week and have to pay AGAIN to get them re-hemmed. Motherfuckers.  

It's OK, because tomorrow's Friday

As you may know, if you are a reader of this blog, I had surgery last Wednesday.

I'm back at work for my second day today, and I'm sleepy...

• That I'm jealous of Mo being on her way to/in Orlando this weekend during All-Star weekend because I love tall athletic men (and she didn't even know it was happening!)
• That my parents are dog sitting until Sunday and it makes me really happy seeing my dad with dog again
• To eat two brownies and two cookies that you brilliantly stashed from yesterday
• To have surgery, just because you think it'll make you better somehow
• That my body is about 30% covered with heinous bruises right now
• That my skin is so dry it's disgusting me, and no amount of lotion seems to be helping
• To feel like your head is a million pounds
• To be eating jelly beans even though they're making you sick
• To have learned to deal with a baseline amount of pain for now, because you I can't keep taking painkillers like candy
• To be excited about being able to sleep semi comfortably on your side
• To have gone on a really sweet lunch date yesterday and not marked it as taking lunch on your timesheet
• To be drinking water from a bottle you filled up in Kingston, Jamaica 3 weeks ago
• To be ready for bed at 3pm, yet know that when it's actually time for bed, you will not be able to sleep
• To be confused because last night B was ready to go to Jamaica, and now she's not even though I've been looking at the prices and such
• To not know whether to be upset about this or not
• To just have lost motivation to write more.

Here are some of my bruises, maybe I'll actually update about the surgery soon.

It's OK that it's not Thursday

Look, I'm not going to be able to blog tomorrow so since I like it's OK Thursdays so much, I'm going to participate again.

It's OK....

• That it's 60 degrees in New York and was the same yesterday and this makes me happy (while I'm here), but pissed because I always leave town when there's amazing weather here!
• That yesterday was my birthday and although I didn't do anything spectacular, I had two great meals with people I really adore. The Mexican really made this birthday great.
• That I cried at the copy machine yesterday because of my dad, and then again when I got home
• That I broke my family's one and only tradition (I didn't want a Carvel cake to celebrate)
• That even though I told this guy in Jamaica I would not bring his little brother hats, I have now been to three different stores all over NYC looking for his size so that I can surprise them tomorrow.
• That this time tomorrow, I will be on the beach with a drink in my hand
• To wish that Mo and a few other people were coming to Jamaica
• To be torn that someone who wasn't supposed to be in Jamaica will be there. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of hers, but I was kind of wishing this would be mine and B's trip
• That my best friend in New York is moving to Detroit as soon as we come back from our trip - and to not know how I feel about that
• To have been in a great mood last night even though I was so full it hurt
• To have had some of the best sex with Steel Pans that we've had last night
• To want more lunch because the yogurt and salad I had just didn't do it
• To be watching the clock, excited to blow out of work for the next 5 days.
• To be undecided about getting breast implants in two weeks or not (ideally I would, but cost wise I will probably have to wait until early summer)
• That my phone freezes every time I try to upload pictures to facebook (this is actually not OK and quite irritating)
• To have spent $100 on Amazon.com in Kindle today because of 1-click purchasing
• To love chick lit, even if you sometimes feel lame about it
• To want to have a story like the ones you read about
• To switch between saying "I" and using the universal "You" in this list
• To have to repack your suitcase because the two liters of vodka you're bringing to a foreign country are damn heavy
• To pack three pairs of shoes that there's VERY little chance of you wearing because when you drink, you shouldn't be any further from the ground than you need to be because you're incredibly accident prone
• To show everyone your scars because it makes you feel tough - even though not one of your stories is tough...at all
• That this list is getting incredibly long
• To be slowly getting over EPT, even if you're upset he didn't even say "Happy Birthday"
• To have been excited to respond to hundreds of facebook "Happy Birthdays" because it felt like you got more than last year and you were feeling a little forgotten
• To want more cake and not to throw it up
• To have a million other things to say, and yet feel like this might be the time to quit

By the way, here's what I ate for my birthday dinner:

 

My flash didn't go off :( There was a spicy green sauce that just looks black here.

Best part of the meal. These scallops were AMAZING

By the way, the ice cream tasted like Tiramisu.

I'm participating: It's OK Thursdays

So every week I read Mo's "It's OK" Thursday, and I've decided to participate. It's one of my new Chinese New Year's resolutions, participation.

Here goes:

It's OK...

• To be watching Downton Abbey and Project Runway at work
• To have a major emotional/mental break down last week that throw you off my "getting healthy" game
• To wish it were next Thursday, even if that means skipping over a birthday
• To not have plans to celebrate your 25th birthday
• To triple book yourself for a day where you will probably end up doing very little
• To get excited over silly little presents (i.e. Stress balls from the Real Estate Office)
• To constantly have to remind myself not to message certain people
• To lose bets, even if it really sucks
• To not have chemistry on dates, if you think you can be friends after
• To be annoyed that you have to drive this weekend, even if it's to see awesome people
• To not understand foreign accents on the phone. "WHAT?" "I don't understand" is acceptable for certain calls.
• To go to "thumbs up" a song, and realize you're listening to your mp3 player not Pandora
• To convince yourself you're completely immune to pesticides and not wash produce before you eat it
• To wish you could see your best friends more often
• To get agitated when people tell you about unnecessary things that will obviously "upset you"
• To be playing phone tag, and be OK with delaying confrontation
• To be sad that you can't go somewhere, even if you know it would be awkward if you did
• To be procrastinating restaurant week. It happens twice a year. Relax.
• That most of these things I'm not actually OK with, but I'm working on it
• To want to keep going with things that are "OK" but have to stop because you're at work

What's Ok with you today?! 
Link up with Amber & Neely 

It's OK Thursday - because I need a little motivation in my life

 So I've decided to link up this week for It's OK Thursdays because I saw Mo doing it, and although I feel BLANK, I still think there are a lot of things I have to say.

It's ok...

• To have about a billion grants due at the end of this month yet spend most of my time dicking around on the internet
• To be upset that my most recent wax has not been experienced by anyone but myself
• To be even more upset that the person I would like to have experienced the smoothness with basically told me I was needy
• To be feeling incredibly anti social lately
• That the rain has really put a downer on my mood

• To have finally learned how to make the decision to leave social events by myself
• To miss B, but not have any clue how to "rekindle" our friendship
• That although I knew it would happen, I really wish B would've pulled through on the Jets tickets yesterday
• To just want to go home after work so I can watch Thursday Night Football in bed
• To have no idea what's going on in current events, specifically occupy Wall Street (I'm a great New Yorker)
• To be excited that after 3 years, I have finally begun to clean up my bedroom and I intend to keep it that way

My Pashmina Curtain, covering my cluttered windowseat

• To freak out when planning vacations because the Jew in me comes out and I don't want to throw down the extra cash for certain things
• That I spend more money a month than I originally thought
• That I had to pay $33 to get my pendant fixed on the chain my mom got me for my 18th birthday that I have only taken off 5 times since, and that I haven't even put it back on yet
• That after going to the Stumble Inn last night, I went home and baked for my coworker's birthday - even though she hates her birthday

• To not understand how people are incapable of baking when I find it incredibly easy
• To feel like an ass because of the above statement...there are a ton of things I don't find easy that other people think are so simple
• To feel like something's missing in my life
• To lack eloquence and realize I'm not great at explaining myself
• To have had the urge to write a novel this morning and then to quickly shoot myself down over that because I have no original ideas
• To only enjoy reading trashy chick lit lately
• To have bought Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred in hopes that I will actually do it
• That the Mexican has already planned where we're going to eat each day when I go to Sacramento in December, and that it involves a lot of fast food
• To not be going to Honey tonight, and to feel weird about that
• To have gone to Instinct Magazine's Man of the Year party and that I was ready to leave as soon as the open bar ended, even if I do love the gays 

Mexican and his roommate who I will have to give a name to.

• To wish I had something to look forward to (other than going to California)
• To wish I there was someone in my life that I liked (like had a crush on) that I could get excited about
• To be freaking out that I don't know what to get the Mexican's family for Christmas, because I don't celebrate holidays
• To have lied just now because I celebrate Thanksgiving, three days in a row
• To have invited over 80 people to my family's Thanksgiving Reprise on Saturday, and to be a little nervous about that because I'm not a great entertainer
• To not have gone to the gym or worked out since Friday
• To really be messing up with my "dieting" and feel so blah about it that I don't even have the motivation to fix it
• To miss all of my friends who don't live near me, even though I talk to them the most

Spider Fluffer :( Miss him A LOT

• To be burping marinara sauce because I'm so full, yet wanting to eat one of the banana nut/chocolate chip cakes I made last night
• To have an INCREDIBLY long It's OK list, because obviously not everything is OK.