Inertia caught me.

I started writing this on my phone a few weeks ago as I was walking home from the train. I don't have a laptop at home any more (thanks to a burglary and my shitty luck), so my phone is where I turn to, unless I'm at work.

"I think that I've always been waiting for that spark, that snap, that straw to break the camel's back. Essentially, I've been waiting for change. I've been waiting for that moment where it all becomes clear; for clarity to take over, my vision to be magically cleared, the proverbial crud to be wiped from my eyes. I've been waiting for a moment when I'll just know. Know what? I'm not sure. Everything maybe? Know what I'm supposed to do, who I'm supposed to love, that kind of thing. I've been waiting for all of the puzzle pieces to just click and for me to suddenly just...know. But it doesn't work like that, does it?

Some say it all started with a big bang, so why is it that my life can't start like that? Not literally, but figuratively but tangibly. I don't want to have to always think about what comes next, I want it to just happen. People have been fighting for freedom to decide everything for themselves since society began, but I want to be a passenger long for the ride of my life."

What's wrong with being a passenger? I spent most of my life being shlepped around from place to place by my parents, the subway, obligations, etc. If it's possible to thrive in mediocrity and passivity, I've done it. I'm not a passionate person. I can't say I'm incredibly driven. I've always been taken care of, I've barely struggled, so has this shaped me into this spectator waiting for the action?

I've come to a point in my life where I'm not satisfied, but I'm not dissatisfied. I suppose it is possible to be unsatisfied, but have no real negative feelings. I just...exist.

My job is boring and pointless. I spend 7.5 of my daily working hours at my job watching television. That's right, I said it. I watch TV at work. I feel completely and utterly useless here. I'm not thriving, I'm barely contributing and I'm just getting by. I'm passively applying to nursing schools, but getting disgruntled by the whole application process although it's my only ticket out of here. I'm worried that I'm not going to have any money at all next year when I actually (all things working out) start nursing school and have to quit my job.

I have no hobbies and my current only real friend that I spend time with in NYC is contemplating an international move because she put in her work notice and her current job one upped the new jobs' offer. B is gone to another state for the majority of next year and it looks like for a good portion of the rest of this one. My social life is officially crumbling and although I care, I don't know how to fix it. It's really tough to make friends as an adult in NYC, especially when you currently have no hobbies...which I don't. No hobbies, no passions, I'm just skating through life waiting for that life-altering moment when it all makes sense and I know what I want.

I'm ready to take a HUGE leap. I can't wait to get out of nursing school because I want to do Doctors Without Borders. I need to be challenged. I need to stop waiting!

So many things to do, and the only person standing in my way is myself. Getting out of my way seems like too much effort right now, because honestly I've become a stagnant rock. Sitting, waiting, wishing, wanting...all that good stuff that Jack Johnson talks about in that song. I'm mossed over folks, and let me tell you, it's boring as hell, but physics and the law of inertia kind of dictate that this rock that I currently am will not be going anywhere without an outside force.

WHERE IS THE DAMN FORCE? What will it be? I'm not one for animal cruelty, but where's my damn straw...I got the back pain but no change.

Speaking of back pain, I'm getting old. I suffered a nasty bout of debilitating Sciatica back in October. Also, I can no longer hang like I used to. I get brutal hangovers and have a hard time staying up past midnight. Overall, I think I'm about 80 years old in practice. I really hope this doesn't fuck with my trip to Israel on Birthright next week. Yeah, that's right, I'm going to Israel for free because my ancestors were Jewish. Take that 'Murica!

I'll talk all about it soon...I may even take my dad's mini computer with me to document it because my hand no longer is capable of writing like a normal human being.

That gives me another idea, I really have to talk about this younger generation and their ridiculousness with social media and inability to actually communicate.

I'm going back to paying attention to Almost Human on Hulu now. It's good to be back.

It's OK on a Thursday.

It's OK...

That there is no more "It's OK" linkup.

To be in a bad mood for no apparent reason - even my coworker noticed this. I think it's because I was napping at work and got woken up a little too early. Also, the right side of my jaw/ear hurt for no apparent reason either and it's not making me happy.

To have possibly missed a monthly meeting because I wasn't ever told what time it was supposed to be and where it was.

To be upset at Hulu because the shows I want to watch are not available yet - this Hulu Plus bullshit is getting on my nerves.

That I still do very little at work.

That at 9am this morning it was already 77 degrees, and that it will peak at around 90 in the next hour or two.

To be excited to see B, whom I haven't seen in over a week, because we're going to drink (although neither of us can afford it) and forget we have any problems.

That a Jamaican man hit on me before 8am, probably because I'm wearing bright blue pants.

That I'm wearing bright blue pants.

That, although I'm doing nothing at work right now, I'm so ready to leave it's not even funny. On the other hand, it's hot as fish grease outside (84 right now), and I don't even want to go outside to get lunch.

To already be excited for trivia next week. Rudi and I did pretty darn good for just having two of us on a team on Tuesday.

To have my mood drastically improve before posting this entry.

To know I'll have something to update tomorrow because it's THIRSTY THURSDAY!! Drinks on me?

In a Friday food daze.

As I sit here with water spots all over my shirt and jacket sleeve, I'm reminded how awful I am at consuming food and beverages. I don't just mean that I'm a mess, but I really can't stop eating sometimes and it's become apparent that this is incredibly unhealthy. From the time that I stepped into work today, until about 20 minutes ago, I had only taken 10-15 minutes of breaks from eating. In fact, I know that my overeating has become an issue when the fruit/veggie stand man made a comment this morning about how much I love grape tomatoes and that I buy two boxes a day. (see you Tuesday, fruit/veggie stand man!)

E'ryday

I also made a huge mistake last week when going with my coworker to buy snacks for the teen group he hosts. I purchased my own set of snacks, of which I have only 2 left in my drawer. I bought nutter butter bites, werthers, 3 boxes of those seaweed strips, popcorners, string cheese, yogurt, bologna, and pickles (the refrigerated ones are still here). Oh and at Costco earlier this week (for another teen group buying sesh) I bought mini chocolate croissants for everyone, and then felt obligated to indulge in a few. I should be shot.

And the Brown Sugar and Sea Salt ones

Welcome to my life. WELCOME TO THE GLUTTONY. So sick.

Anyway, now that I've vented about that, I'm moving on with my life (read: trying not to eat any more snacks today).

I honestly wish that I had more to talk about, but considering I didn't go out last night (atypical for a Thursday - but everything's been exhausting), I don't really have much to say. So here are the highlights from the week.

Rudi found at apartment! Her new roommate is going to be my new best friend, or at least of them. I adore him so far. He's a lovely guy and he likes to pickle things and soak fruit in rum on a consistent basis (rumkopf). He also has many decks of cards, and went to trivia with us. Go trivia!!

I was supposed to go to trivia on Wednesday night, but instead had some miscommunication with this guy we'll call Ears, and Rudi ended up intruding on "Boys night" because I couldn't give her the message fast enough that Ears wasn't inviting us to hang out by telling us where he would be and at what time. It ended up being an interesting night though. Listened to music, drank beer/whiskey out on the patio at Union Hall with Ears and his friend and Rudi. Ears got shwasted and apparently blacked out at some point. I didn't though, and I was able to get to work JUST FINE the next day. All-in-all it was a good evening. Nothing too eventful. My friendship with Ears is kind of an odd one though. Every time I see him, I'm always mad at him to start. There's always attitude and for whatever reason I'm in a bad mood. As the night progresses and drinks are had though, we get along a lot better. It's so odd.

This is Union Hall - where we were drinking on the patio

Yes, they have bocce in the bar

I think we'll probably be seeing him pretty often though because Rudi is moving to the neighborhood he spends a lot of his time in.

I really need to start getting out my stories before I forget them all. I'm already slowly losing the strip club stories, and a bunch of other drunken ones like the time I felt up the security guard when I was shwasties, or the night I went over to this guy's house and he left me alone in his apartment for hours until I passed out, but I was having a drunken dance party for about 2 hours and apparently I called this other guy and had awful hiccups as I ranted about how pissed I was. Oh, or the other strip club story where B and I woke up in my car and couldn't figure out why we were there because I was parked outside of her apartment and hadn't driven anywhere (we woke up in the back seat). Turns out, at 4am, I decided I needed to put my shoes in the car and I guess it was too exhausting to go back upstairs after putting the shoes in the trunk that we sat in the backseat and both fell asleep for an hour or so.

Oh well, there will come a day for each of these stories. For now, I will continue to watch hulu at work before leaving early for the start of my holiday weekend!!

HAVE A GREAT MEMORIAL DAY, FOLKS!

I have a new job, and even more time on my hands

It's been a long time, blog world. I really planned on getting back to this a lot sooner. In fact, I don't even know if I'm fully back just yet because I have barely anything to talk about, but I thought - hey, while I have all of this time, I might as well start blogging again.

I guess that prompts the question "why do you have all of this time, KG?" Well blog world, I have a new job. And why do I have a new job? Because I was fired for some MAJOR bullshit after taking a three week vacation in Asia.

I'm sure there should be more detailing for both of those statements (why/how I lost my job and how was Asia). However, I'm not really at that point where I don't get bitter about the job situation and well - I don't have the mental capacity to pull the best pictures from my millions of facebook uploaded photos. That being said, I want to apologize once again to Mo for 1. Ruining her camera on day 1, and 2. Pretty much ruining our full out party chances by being a completely ridiculous blackout drunk on a Thai Island. Yes, I will tell this story at some point, but yeah, it kind of made it more difficult to Mo to relax and trust that something wasn't going to happen that would threaten our trip, again.

Goddamn I'm  being super vague in this entry, but I will get there, I promise.

So here's a rundown of what's been going on in my life.

• After being laid off, it took about two months to start my new job. I took a $10K pay cut, which hurts my heart and I've been borrowing my money from my parents far too much.
• We're planning on moving back into the old house after last year's fire on June 17th.
• In the mean time, my friend Rudi, has moved to New York from Baltimore and I am temporarily housing her until she finds a new place, so we will be spending a lot of time together and even more time exploring the city looking for apartments.

Yesterday, we went to look at an apartment in Park Slope and her potential new roommate should be my new best friend. I just want to hug him and play card games and pickle things with him all the time. We did all of the tourist crap in the shitty weather for Rudi's friend who drove her up from Bmore after the Great Googa Mooga festival got canceled (honestly, thankfully because my mom and I were dragging our feet about trudging through wet park mud).

 After Times Square, we went to Katz's deli and it was brilliant. It was PACKED and I played super stalker and took pictures (covertly) of the attractive, but short-ish security guy.

We had delicious Pastrami and pickles. And then of course, we went to Big Gay Ice Cream for amazing treats.

• I've probably been drinking too much lately, but the last two times I went out - I didn't black out. This is an amazing step in the right direction.
• I watch TV at work - and so I've been watching a ton of hulu lately which is just...well that's my life now. I do literally NOTHING at my job, and it'll be like this for the next few months.
• A plan for Jamaica is in the works for July, but pretty much no one can afford it right now, so that's a bummer. Oh well - we'll figure out how to make it happen.
• I need to start exercising again because I've been eating like it's going out of style for the past 4 or 5 days. I say this as I heat up some pastrami and prepare to gorge myself on its deliciousness.
• I've been to a lot of strip clubs lately - apparently they've become my thing. I will tell you two stories about them over the next few entries. They're pretty good and they make me happy and giggly, so I guess that all works out.
• It's already 1pm which is a good sign. 4 more hours of doing absolutely nothing and getting paid for it.

I've decided to end this now. To Be Continued...

I'm baaaaack

So I know it's been a long time. Like a really long time since I've blogged. I also know that the last few times I DID blog, it was nothing good. It was additionally, quite cryptic, which is not all that great for a blog where people have no actual insight into your real life unless you tell them. I'm ready to put that behind me though.

I can't say that I'm incredibly motivated to blog yet, but I think this is a good start. Considering that I never actually take a lunch break at work anymore, I am taking my sweet time writing this post (I actually made it to work on time today).

I've been pretty reclusive for the past few months. I've gone out here and there....

I just took a 4 hour break from this post...will have to continue tomorrow.

I thought it might get better

but it doesn't. Or at least, it's not yet. I'm digging myself into this hole that I may never be able to get myself out of.

All I want is to be alone right now. I've pretty much alienated anyone who I could spend time with for various reasons, and I get to constantly be reminded that 10 seconds can ruin a life forever.

I'm really going to miss Steel Pans, and something tells me that this post should also be a farewell to B as well.

Yes folks, it is that bad.

"This too shall..."...well in my experience "hold tight, the ride's only going to get rougher" is a bit more appropriate, because passing is something that this will not be doing any time soon.

Oh, and I've been meaning to write about my house fire, but there never seemed to be a good time. Now, I don't know if there ever will be. Still no internet at the new house - maybe it's better that way. I feel out of touch, and I kind of want to be. Also, I don't think I'll actually be "touched" any time soon.

Fuck (or don't, I suppose).

Silently crying at my desk...

I'm currently waiting for some of the worst news a person can get. I'd say it's top ten on the list of things you don't want to hear, maybe even top 5...or at least in my top 5.

Needless to say, things haven't gotten better since the fire. They just keep getting worse.

Failed literary scholar

Reading Laura's blog left me wondering where I stood in terms of what I've read compared to what I probably should've read by this point in my life...and I really haven't read much. Maybe one day I'll make some headway in this list.

 

The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper LeeThe Bible
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (Listened to this on tape when I refused to read it for school)
Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (My daddy read this one to me when I was a kid)
Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
Middlemarch - George Eliot
Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald 

Bleak House - Charles Dickens
War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
Emma - Jane Austen
Persuasion - Jane Austen
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini (Did I read this, or just watch the movie?!)

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (Silly old bear)
Animal Farm - George Orwell (I read the script and worked on the play, but didn't read the book itself)
The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (Don't remember this book at all, but I know I read it!)
Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Atonement - Ian McEwan (Again, I can't remember if I read it or just saw the movie)

Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Dune - Frank Herbert
Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon (Great book!)

 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (One of my favorites)
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold  (Again, I can't remember if I read it or just saw the movie)

Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
On The Road - Jack Kerouac
Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
Moby Dick - Herman Melville 

Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
Dracula - Bram Stoker
The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
Ulysses - James Joyce
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
Germinal - Emile Zola (Did a project on him, but never read his shizz)
Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
Possession - AS Byatt
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Color Purple - Alice Walker 

The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
Charlotte’s Web - EB White
The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (I'm pretty sure at some point I read some of these)
The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad 

The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (In English AND French)
The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
Watership Down - Richard Adams
A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
Hamlet - William Shakespeare (I've read almost every other Shakespeare play - save for the majority of the histories - but not Hamlet!)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
Les Miserables - Victor Hugo (Did I ever read this, or just saw the play/movie? Hmm...)

Hiatus...

I know I've been gone for a while, a lot is still going on - and I currently don't have internet at my new house unless my dad tethers his phone, which isn't ideal.

I promise I will fill you in.

Miss you....

It's just surreal.

Look. I was going to post something profound last week. I was going to post about my trip to Florida and to Atlanta. I had big dreams for a post today, but honestly...I just can't find it in me right now.

 Half of my house burnt down yesterday. My parents and I are physically alright. My house is not. Yes, I plan on sharing the story with all of the details because it's something that while I don't want to remember, it's something I will never forget. So for right now, I smell like a barbecue pit, a good portion of my family's belongings are not salvageable, I'm living in a hotel for the next 10 days until the insurance company finds us a temporary apartment for the next 6-12 months while my house remains "unlivable" and I still haven't accepted that this is real life.  

But it is...
 

This is what is left of my kitchen. The laundry room and third floor bathroom look about the same

And what the first floor bathroom and most of the other rooms look like

I will have more pictures in my next post. Right now, I'm just trying to stave off the random outbursts of tears that remind me that this is real.

Hey there, it's been a while

And it will continue to be a little while longer. I'm trying to process some information that I just got. It's a doozy.

Wednesday Woes - Weather WTF!?

Wednesday Woes

Who doesn't enjoy complaining on a Wednesday? Wednesday is that day of the work week we're all just trying to get through. You're a day closer to the upcoming weekend, but last weekend is already two days behind you and you still have two more week days ahead. So go ahead, tell us what your "Woes" are this Wednesday so we can commiserate, and don't forget to linkup!

I actually don't have all that much to complain about today, which is a surprise. Pretty much the same old stuff.

1. The weather is goddamn bipolar. It was almost 90 degrees on Monday and almost 80 yesterday. Now it's barely 60. I know a lot of people whose health this is affecting, including mine.

2. My coworker still smells. At the end of the week I will probably bring it up to my boss in hopes that she can mention something, because it's not my responsibility.

3. I hate dealing with governmental grants. Actually, scratch that. I hate having to pick up grants in the middle of the application process because everyone has a different process. Now we're coming down to the deadline and I know that tomorrow may kill me.

4. Walking into work in the morning, I didn't even have 10 seconds to myself before I had to troubleshoot a damn computer problem. It's really irritating having to be the go-to person for every random issue. Someone else needs to step up and handle some of this bullshit, or they should really have fought harder to keep my former coworker.

5. I feel like I've had something in my eye for two days now. It's really becoming an irritant.

6. My cough is lingering.

7. The conference room needs to be split up, and my ass will not be the one doing it.

Eh- I'm done complaining. I just want the sun to come out.

Prosententially Famous

By the way, I posted some of my older writing over at Prosetentially Famous yesterday. Feel free to check it out.

I'll probably post again later.

My coworker decided not to shower again today.

The weather is beautiful.

I'm trying to maintain my great mood.


We shall see...

Monday morning flood

I'm not sure if you can tell, but that's a flood. Guess where it was. If you guessed the 68th Street - Hunter College stop on the 6 train, you would be correct.

Guess what stop I have to get off at for work? And guess yet again, whether or not the MTA decided to mention this flood situation to the lucky MTA patrons that would be exiting at Hunter College.

To say the least, my morning commute was kind of disgusting. I mean, everything was going just fine (my mother yelled at me for eating half of a piece of steak that apparently she planned to bring to work for lunch - tough luck...she knows how much I love red meat and that she would even consider cooking steak and not leaving me some, she deserves being assed out this morning. HARUMPH) in terms of how fast the trains came. I had a seat by Dekalb Avenue. I managed to pull my skirt down enough in the back that my asscheeks and most of my thighs were not touching the seat on the train...but then I got off at Hunter College and had to wade through 6 inches of water, in leather sandals.

I'm just happy that my sandals are semi-waterproof, and by the time I got down two blocks, my feet were dry...but when I think about what was in that water, or where it came from, I get pretty grossed out. I'm also sure that having wet feet outside, is not the best thing for someone with a cold.

That's right, I still have a cold. I'm still coughing; still sneezing; still fighting off an epic headache. I was miserable yesterday at my great aunt's 80th birthday party. My sickness contributed to my unwillingness to socialize with family I only see once a year and other people whom I have either never met, or rarely see. There's something to that though. I had a great bloody mary that took be forever to finish because I was sick, so I had no booze flowing through my veins...and the closest person to my age at the party (in either direction) was my first cousin once removed, a freshman in college. So, everyone took pity on me, and left me alone (pretty sure they just didn't want my germs).

Basically, I sat around looking like a zombie, praying for the time to come when we could go home. Also, my stomach was really unhappy. I'm pretty sure the raw clams I had for breakfast didn't help that whole situation, but they needed to be eaten.

B and I went to City Island with her boo on Saturday. I drove, and kind of drove like a maniac. The food was awesome. B and her boo came back to my house and we hung out, and another of my friends came over...let's call him "HSS" because I don't know what I've called him before. We played Kings with malt liquor and everyone was really unhappy with how their stomachs felt, so we went to sleep. HSS and I cuddled, which was actually really great.

Now we're back to Monday and I'm ready for the work day to be over because it's 85 degrees outside.

SUNNY SUNNY SUNNY

It's OK - Allergies are now contagious

• That my smelly coworker's "allergies" are obviously contagious and now I'm sporting a cold (or the plague)
• That I thought I got a dollup of honey on my hand and licked it - turned out it was dish washing liquid
• That I refuse to go to the bathroom 15 minutes before or after my new coworker because I almost threw up from the stench she left behind yesterday
• That I got to see someone use the emergency call button on the subway for the first time in my life because the train stopped between two stations and she freaked out, threatening to jump off of the train because she's claustrophobic
• That during those 10 minutes stuck between stations, I had cell phone reception so I was telling Mo and B all about it
• That I've gotten to work a minimum of an hour late this whole week, and I'm perfectly fine with that
• To have loaded about 130 quotes onto my phone from bitsotruth.blogspot.org yesterday to use at BBM status pictures
• To pray for B's boo to get his appeal in court today, even if I don't pray
• To have a phlegmy cough now, and be really upset about it
• That I haven't fought with my mother in weeks - in fact I can't remember the last time I fought with her
• That my dad didn't do the one thing I ever ask of him on Tuesday, and I didn't flip out at him about it (although I still don't understand why he can't take the prius when it's available so I can use my car and not have to drive that thing)
• To have spent over a week straight with my best friend and only have fought once
• To desperately want to watch as much TV as I possibly can so my DVR doesn't get overloaded - but fall asleep halfway through almost every show instead
• That yesterday morning I was completely healthy and now I can't stop coughing, sneezing, have a headache and my ear hurts
• To be emailing my coworkers sitting next to me because "I need my mouth for breathing, because I can't use my nose due to stench."
• To not be a nice person sometimes
• To wish I had lemon to add to my tea with honey so my throat would stop hurting
• That my great aunt's 80th birthday is on Sunday, and to be mostly excited about eating food there
• To be looking forward to going to City Island either tomorrow or Saturday for some amazing seafood
• To be sad that tomorrow is my coworker's last day
• That Delta let me down again yesterday and I didn't get really upset about it
• To not be ready to talk about my vacation yet because I don't feel inspired (also, I don't understand why I think about going to Jamaica so much when I'm never really upset to go home)
• To start looking for a therapist because I've definitely pinpointed things I need to take care of
• To be really excited for Mo's big move - and to go visit her in China of course
• To now be a part of Prosetentially Famous and need to dig up some of my old writing so I can actually post it
• To want to learn more about current events because I feel like I'm running out of things to talk about
• To be getting ready for lunch in a half hour, even though I ate breakfast only an hour and a half ago
• That I might go to Honey tonight even though I'm sick, just because one of my friends said she might want to - if it doesn't rain

What's OK with you today? I could keep going - but I'll save it all for another day

Wednesday Woes - The plague

Wednesday Woes

Who doesn't enjoy complaining on a Wednesday? Wednesday is that day of the work week we're all just trying to get through. You're a day closer to the upcoming weekend, but last weekend is already two days behind you and you still have two more week days ahead. So go ahead, tell us what your "Woes" are this Wednesday so we can commiserate, and don't forget to linkup! (I promise I'll make a button soon)

I think my new coworker has the plague. I swear she hasn't stopped coughing every 2 minutes for the last two weeks. I'm ready to offer her lozenges, tea with honey, a fucking tracheotomy to get her to stop coughing...but I don't want to get too close.

I am currently refusing to deal with the conference room, because I never agreed to take it over once my other coworker was fired. Let's see how long it takes for the room to be made up and the table to be set up for lunch.

Pandora is skipping. It keeps losing its connection and for whatever reason it'll stop about 40 seconds before the song is over and move on to the next one. It just skipped two of my favorite songs. Not happy.

Onion breath. I need to stop eating onions at work (in fact, my boss said this), because now I talk to too many people directly in the middle of my meals. I just like the flavor they bring to salads, but they've gotta go.

The internet connection at work is really lagging today. It worries me for what's to come in the next few weeks as everyone changes systems.

OK, back to this plague thing. Since I asked if she needed a cough drop and she refused it, I cannot stop coughing. Karma really hates me. And speaking of Karma, I swear I get hit worse than most people for things I MUST have done in the past. It's like I have a bullseye on my back and can always be found.

5 hours later, I STILL cannot stop coughing.

Tomorrow I'll post about my vacation. Jamaica was, how shall I say it....INTERESTING.

Recapitulation of recent revelry

Seeing as how I'm going out of town for the next week, I figured I would actually post so as to avoid the "bad blogger" syndrome. I can't say that I have much to talk about, but I'm sure I can come up with something.

Holy crap, I thought I had posted about my weekend. Guess not, maybe I do indeed have something to talk about.

Friday.

I went to see my friend and her new baby. I didn't want to hold the baby. It was two days old, and I don't know if I've told you before, but I don't really enjoy holding children who cannot hold up their own head. I don't know why, but it's true. I had also been dealing with raw shrimp about 30 minutes before I went to go over to the house, and I don't care how much hand washing you do...raw shrimp hands are not something you should touch a newborn with. I was only there for about an hour before my friend got delirious after not having slept for 5 days, and I went home.

When I was there, I saw another of my old bowling teammates. Yeah, that's right, I used to bowl competitively. From ages 7-17, I was a competitive bowler. Eat that! Actually, when I was a Junior in high school, I played on a team with three other girls, all of which now have children and are/were married. I was the second bowler, and the cheerleader. Our team (the only all girl team) won the league that year. We kicked ass. I think my average was 187 that year. I could be found standing on the chairs at the bowling alley cheering for my teammates and trying to keep our third bowler (the new mom) from beating herself up too much when she didn't do well, and our anchor bowler (the divorcee - who was at new mom's house) from zoning out to the point where she would ignore what we were doing at the alley in order to pay attention to her flavor of the week.She's not the same person though - and she has an 8 month old.

Saturday:

Anyway, we made plans to go out the next night because her friend from Washington State was in town for the week and wanted to really experience going out in NY, and Divorcee JUST moved back to NYC a few weeks ago.

Around 10:30 I started to get ready. By get ready, I mean, I started drinking as I danced around and put my make up on. I spoke to B and we were going to go to Slate because her friend's friend was having a party there and why not. I also had the option of going to Sutra for my other friend's belated birthday celebration.

Divorcee and Washington State missed the 11:30pm ferry from Staten Island, and so they decided to drive to my house and then take the train with me into the city. I sat in my kitchen, still drinking, listening to the reggae channel, dancing, singing and waiting. We got ourselves together and took off to meet up with B and her friends.

As we crossed the bridge, B said that the cover for Slate was ridiculous, and they were only doing bottle service. Sutra had a $5...the decision had been made.

Sutra was PACKED. I have some pictures, but I haven't uploaded them yet, so you'll have to wait. I didn't blackout though. That's the really important part. Divorcee left super early because she just can't hang like she used to. WashState stayed with me and we shut down the club. She managed to get us a ride home, and it was amazing. As we were driving through Grand Army Plaza, we talked about standing up through the sunroof. She did it. I was in the back and pulled myself out of the window and sat on the edge - whilst the car was moving - and got AMAZING pictures of her. Very much like something you would see in a movie. It was a blast. Only downside was that there was a car full of guys that were driving next to us, and told WashState to show her boobs, which she wouldn't and when I said that, one of them yelled that I was too fat to be sitting on the window. Obviously not, homie. So biiiiite me!

Anyway, we got home. I left them sitting in the car and passed out. Apparently I made a long phone call to a 20 year old boy talking about dirty things in my sleep. So, maybe I didn't NOT blackout - but that's day 2 of keeping my blackouts to my house, which is a hell of an accomplishment.


Sunday:
I did NOTHING. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. B came over on Sunday night to commence packing. We did that for a few hours, and finally went to bed because packing is exhausting.

Monday:
I went to work and the temp had started.

I can't say I like this woman. She is of the "older" variety, and not pleasant to look at/smell...Also, I'm incredibly bitter about what they're doing to my coworker and I just don't want this new lady here, which is why I'm really happy to be getting out of the office for the next 4 business days.

I spent a lot of time at work reading a book on my Kindle - thanks to Safari Cloud Reader. Winner!

I took care of some personal hygiene things after work in preparation for my trip. It cost me a fortune and wasn't really worth the inflated price, but it WAS convenient. When I got home, B was already at my house. We finished packing, went to get dinner and then she went to her friend's house. The whole time we were discussing this trip and the potential for a million types of disasters. We made a pact though, that if shit hits the fan, we are NOT involved...and let me tell you, this fan may be worse than the one that almost took off my finger in October.

Tuesday
I wanted to kill this man on the train because I've just about had it up to HERE with people who take one step onto a train and don't move in any further when there are clearly people trying to get on behind you. Why am I maneuvering around your selfish ass. Next time, I'm just shoving bitches.

There are a few things I have learned in the past few years since my surgery. By "things" i mean, "eating habits I should really cut out". I did not abide by these findings today.

1. Dairy vs. KG. I can do cheeses, but milk - never a good idea. Ice cream, especially when I've eaten before I have it - BIG mistake.

2. Fried foods = bad - don't handle those well thanks to my gallbladder-less-ness.

3. Drinking whilst eating - especially carbonated beverages (that I don't often drink anyway), big nono.

All three of these things will result in major discomfort and most likely, regurgitation.

Guess what I had for lunch? Fried soft shell crab, sushi, and green tea ice cream.

I guarantee is does not taste as delicious coming up as it does going down. My stomach is still being grumpy. In fact it is being very NOISY in protestation of my earlier behavior.

I hope that it gets it together, because I will be drinking today, and every day for the next 7 days.

Dear liver, 

Sorry in advance for partying. Happy Easter!


Love, 
KG

It's not really OK..

Link up with Amber and Neely

It's OK...

That I'm eating Broccoli Cheddar soup for breakfast because I couldn't make a goddamn soup selection at lunch yesterday - so I bought three kinds

That I've spoken to 6 T-Mobile, 2 Blackberry and 4 Expedia customer service reps in the past two weeks, and I've just about had it up to here, with those people. (This is not actually OK, but I'm trying to breathe about it) - UPDATE: They're sending me a new phone tomorrow - Thank you, Jerry. You're the only one who has made the wise decision to just stop dealing with me altogether.

That I've almost broken down into tears of frustration three times while lashing out at said customer service people.

That I slept in today because I just didn't feel like getting up at 7:20am.

That my love for Express pants is officially over, as they have a shelf life of about a year before SOMETHING goes wrong with them (lost the inside button on my pants about 10 minutes ago)

That I will be packing and re-packing this weekend because Jamaica is only 5 and a half days away.

That I've convinced my friend to let me be her youngest daughter's godmother...and that she probably doesn't think I'm DEAD serious about this. That little girl is precious.

That I haven't talked to my own godparents yet about seeing/staying with them in Florida in a few weeks.

That I'm excited to rent a car without having to pay extra fees because I'm 25!

That car rental is the only reason I'm excited to be 25.

That I get to see my friend's new baby on Saturday and I have to get a gift (YAY) and stop being lazy (BOO)

That my nails are bright pink, and I would show you a picture I took on my phone but my facebook isn't activated yet because I just had to reboot my whole damn phone.

To have, and I shit you not, 40 books on my Kindle and yet feel so inclined to purchase YET ANOTHER. (50 Shades of Grey, here I come)

That I actually grew balls and told my boss that if I was going to be taking on even more jobs, that I wanted to be compensated for my efforts (I smell a raise, and it smells like freshly baked bread and just-mowed grass)

A to Z

A is for age: 25

B is for breakfast: Orange Juice that made me sick and part of a Bear Claw

C is for currently craving: Still Dark Chocolate Mint M&Ms

D is for dinner tonight: Not a clue

E is for favorite type of exercise: None! Or Jillian Michaels

F is for irrational fear: I don't think I have any

G is for gross food: I don't find anything particularly gross

H is for hometown: Brooklyn

I is for something important: Parents and friends.

J is for current favorite jam: Strawberry! Breathe Carolina - Blackout, because that's my life.

 

K is for kids: I don't have any, but I may have a Godchild now. That's still in negotiations.

L is for current location: Manhattan

M is for most recent way you spent money: I bought three soups at Au Bon Pain because I couldn't decide which I wanted. They're all in the fridge.

N is for something you need: To get into shape.

O is for occupation: Fellowship Coordinator and Pre-Award Grants Administrator

P is for pet peeve: A lot of subway etiquette things

Q is for quote: "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

R is for Random fact about you: I'm currently listening to Young, Wild & Free - Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa

 

S is for favorite healthy snack: Grape Tomatoes.

T is for favorite treat: Recently, the giant chocolate chip cookies at Le Pain Quotidien.

U is for something that makes you unique: I'm sure there are a lot of things, but probably my stupid knee scar.

V is for favorite vegetable: Since cucumbers and tomatoes are technically fruit...snow pea leaves.

W is for today's workout: Does not exist. Maybe 30 day shred

X is for x-rays you've had: Knee and foot. I've had stomach MRIs though.

Y is for yesterday's highlight: Jennifer had her baby!

Z is for your time zone: EST

Wednesday Woes - new linkup?

I'm considering starting a new link up "Wednesday Woes". I mean, who doesn't enjoy complaining on a Wednesday? Wednesday is that day of the work week we're all just trying to get through. You're a day closer to the upcoming weekend, but last weekend is already two days behind you and you still have two more week days ahead. What do you think?

Today's woes:

1. The Department of Sanitation basically threw garbage all over everyone trying to take the bus to work this morning. 

I mean seriously. For whatever reason, during rush hour, the garbage truck on 68th street decided it would be a FABULOUS idea to "stand" diagonally to load the garbage onto the truck. This messed everything up because cars and BUSES need to get down this block. More than half of the people on the bus got off because we were all going to be late to work. Which brings be to woes #2

2. Waking up early. 

Look, I think waking up early-ish actually puts me in a better mood...when I can go to bed before midnight. Waking up before 7am should be outlawed. I've had to be at work early the past two days, and although my train ride is a touch better because there are less people crowded and I usually get a seat sooner, I still would rather have that extra 30-45 minutes of sleep. There are very few people in this world that are not a mess in the morning, why start that earlier?

3. No one uses my toothbrush but me, but it's always wet.

So apparently, my dad has not been randomly using my toothbrush, although sometimes I really don't think he looks at which one he's picking up because it's before 7 am (see #2). However, all of our toothbrushes are in the toothbrush cup thing together. I swear he must use excessive water when brushing/washing the brush, because my toothbrush is OFTEN wet before I get to it. This makes me uncomfortable, and I've thrown away my fair share of toothbrushes because of it.

4. This weather.

I don't understand how it can be near 80 degrees on a Thursday, and then 18 degrees (factoring in windchill) on Monday. I just can't keep up with where my wardrobe should be right now. I was so ready for straight up sandal season, but now I'm back to winter boots. Mother nature, you're being very cruel.

In a more "What I'm loving Wednesday" vein, my friend finally had her baby!! I'm hoping I can get to my house quickly enough this afternoon to go see her at the hospital.